STDs?

kymalibustacey · July 2012

What do ya'll think about STDs? I have a friend that says it's proper etiquette and that I need to. I just don't know.....

TaraMc728 · July 2012

STD's not required, but a good idea to let others know about your wedding ahead of time.

lostmykeys · July 2012

STD's are a good idea, but they don't have to be expensive...official ones. If your peeps are internet savy, just shooting them an email would work. For those who aren't connected, a letter or post card would do the job just fine.

I do think, in this busy world we live in, that a head's up on the date is a good idea.

hoffse · July 2012

I had the same concern - I've had people in my and FI's generation tell us that they think they are B-listed when they don't get a STD, even if they get the invitation in the normal 6-10 week window. My parents friends think STDs are very rude because they are a demand ("Save the date for our BIG DAY!!!") instead of an invitation where the guest feels like she can decline.

FI and I's solution to this is to send STDs to our friends, and to alert our OOT family members, etc. by email. It's not a perfect solution, since many members of our wedding party are going to have parents coming, but it's the best we could come up with. We figure the wedding party knows they are invited and knows the date, since they are in the wedding. So we're sending STDs primarily to our OOT friends, college friends, law school friends, etc. We're going to be sending out about 30 of them instead of 200, so we are splurging on them a bit at weddingpaperdivas.com.

Personally, I don't care whether I get them. For the next 9 months I do like to know well in advance so that I can decide whether I need to reciprocate by sending that couple an invitation to our wedding (I know, wedding invitations aren't tit for tat, but we still have some uncertainties on our guest list, and this helps us decide). But generally, I don't know my plans 6 months in advance, and getting a STD does not inspire me to actually save that date. But it sounds like you have some friends like ours who feel like they are etiquette. Even if your friends are wrong about that, it might be nice to send them to the people who will care about whether they get them or not.

StefffiC · July 2012

We're doing them since the majority of our guests are out of town.

Mrs.B6302007 · July 2012

It depends on how many out of town guests you have, the location of the wedding (DW or local), and if the date falls on a holiday weekend. Just remember, everyone who gets an STD gets a formal invitation later. There was a bride on here just the other day asking what to do because their financial source withdrew and they had already sent out the STDs. Just be absolutely sure that you have the money in the bank (not a promise of money if someone is helping pay) and that you are 100% solid on your guest list before you send out anything to your guests.

Maggie0829 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stds-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:642b3f87-b0bf-4164-b170-8c5b97a66fd0Post:92385818-0c7f-4f98-a240-da8f6e9897bf">Re: STDs?</a>:
[QUOTE]They're not required but <strong>if you have a lot of out of town guests or you're having a destination wedding</strong> I think they are a good idea.
Posted by lovethebeach16[/QUOTE]

This is the only time where I think STDs are necessary.

I didn't do them for our wedding because I think they are a waste of paper, especially when everyone we were inviting lived within a 25 mile radius of our house.

JessAndTrav · July 2012

We did STDs because we got married during the holidays, and since people have holiday parties like crazy on the weekends in December. We didn't have many OOT guests or a DW, but for us, the STDs were very useful.

We actually had a few people thank us for letting them know in advance about the wedding date so they could get their schedules together for a busy time of year.

libby2483 · July 2012

Our wedding is near our hometowns, so there are few OOT guests. We decided not to do STDs, and it worked out just fine and saved us some money. They are certainly not necessary, but they can be nice for destination weddings, weddings where many guests have to travel, and weddings on holiday weekends or during the week.

Ali092011 · July 2012

We decided not to send out STDs for flexibility purposes. I wanted to invite all of my co-workers, but there was one girl I didn't think was going to be working with us for much longer, and I knew we wouldn't keep in touch once she left. Sure enough, she's been gone since December and I haven't talked to her since. If I had sent out STDs, I would have had to invite her anyway. There have also been a couple of other changes in the guest list that make me glad we didn't tie ourselves down nine months out.

joleri23 · July 2012

Ditto to what everyone else has said: they're not absolutely necessary, but nice to do. I have some Illustrator talent so I made an electronic one and am sending it through email. It's been sort of a pain trying to get everyone's email address, but at the same time, it's a good thing to have in case of some sort of emergency closer to the wedding - we don't have a website, and our wedding is in January in New England.

So even if you don't have knowledge of Adobe CreativeSuite, you can easily come up with a cute email to send! It's free and fast.

aragx6 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stds-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:642b3f87-b0bf-4164-b170-8c5b97a66fd0Post:65401973-cd85-4e28-a42c-68e80f8e04a6">Re: STDs?</a>:
[QUOTE]We decided not to send out STDs for flexibility purposes. I wanted to invite all of my co-workers, but there was one girl I didn't think was going to be working with us for much longer, and I knew we wouldn't keep in touch once she left. Sure enough, she's been gone since December and I haven't talked to her since. If I had sent out STDs, I would have had to invite her anyway. There have also been a couple of other changes in the guest list that make me glad we didn't tie ourselves down nine months out.
Posted by Ali092011[/QUOTE]

That reminds me of something else -- it's totally fine to send them only to your family -- we ended up inviting a few co-workers but we didn't send them STDs.

DramaGeek · July 2012

STDs were originally used for destination weddings. They've grown and it seems like EVERYONE does them now, regardless of when or where the wedding is. I think they're only important for OOT guests and/or if the wedding is at a very busy time of year (holiday weekened, Christmas season, etc). Even then, you do not have to send them to your entire projected guest list. Sending only to your VIPs is fine, or whatever break down you decide on.

Technically, though, your friend is incorrect.

STDs?

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