Guest List Guilt

Re: Guest List Guilt

• 6billionsouls

  

  March 2012

  Yes...we have the same problem, except our number of invites is only 70. We have friends who have invited us to their wedding and family that we were told we "should" invite, but that we aren't close to. It is difficult because we truly just want a small group of close friends and family so we don't have to be rushed and/or forget who was there in the first place.

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• Madisonpenny member

  

  March 2012

  A- don't invite more than what you can host or you'll find yourself in deep trouble if they all accept.  Especially if your venue can only host 125 people.  They give you that number because they have to legally abide by the fire code. Not just because that's how many chairs and tables they can fit in the room.
  b- Just because your invited to someone wedding does not mean you have to invite them.
  C- You don't have to give a Plus 1 if the person is not in a relationship.  Its a nice gesture but it doesn't have to be done.

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• lvissers

  

  March 2012 edited March 2012

  Our venue will hold up to 150, so we are ok there. I told my fiance if less than 10 people on his decline, then his family is responsible for paying for them. Pretty much all of our friends are married or coupled up, so they all have plus ones. The few single guests were not given a plus one. I just feel like my fiance is making me feel bad that he can only invite so many peolpe. There's nothing we can do to change it at this point and he never said anything to begin with when we "guessed" how many people we were going to invite that he would rather have a less formal wedding and have everyone he wanted there rather than having a nicer wedding with smaller guest list. I feel like even if you have a 300 person wedding you have to draw the line somewhere.

  

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• bridetobe71412

  

  March 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_guest-list-guilt?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:ecfe6fd0-146e-40af-ad7a-c1cfa3895055Post:589c92f6-5ca0-4551-ab48-eef80c0d7c78">Re: Guest List Guilt</a>:
  [QUOTE]Our venue will hold up to 150, so we are ok there. I told my fiance if less than 10 people on his decline, then his family is responsible for paying for them. Pretty much all of our friends are married or coupled up, so they all have plus ones. The few single guests were not given a plus one. I just feel like my fiance is making me feel bad that he can only invite so many peolpe. There's nothing we can do to change it at this point and he never said anything to begin with when we "guessed" how many people we were going to invite that he would rather have a less formal wedding and have everyone he wanted there rather than having a nicer wedding with smaller guest list.<strong> I feel like even if you have a 300 person wedding you have to draw the line somewhere.
  </strong>Posted by lvissers[/QUOTE]
  
  Amen.

  

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• MeaganR12

  

  March 2012

  Yeah we have the same issue. Originally we wanted a small, intimate wedding so our venue's 110 person limit seemed fine. Easier said than done. We've had multiple people who didn't 'make the cut' ask us where their STD was. :-/ Awkward....

  
  

  And don't worry, I consider myself pretty dedicated to following etiquette but we're inviting more than 110. A lot of them are OOT and there is just no possible way they're all coming. 

  

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• Madisonpenny member

  

  March 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_guest-list-guilt?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:ecfe6fd0-146e-40af-ad7a-c1cfa3895055Post:589c92f6-5ca0-4551-ab48-eef80c0d7c78">Re: Guest List Guilt</a>:
  [QUOTE]Our venue will hold up to 150, so we are ok there.<strong> I told my fiance if less than 10 people on his decline, then his family is responsible for paying for them.</strong> Pretty much all of our friends are married or coupled up, so they all have plus ones. The few single guests were not given a plus one. I just feel like my fiance is making me feel bad that he can only invite so many peolpe. There's nothing we can do to change it at this point and he never said anything to begin with when we "guessed" how many people we were going to invite that he would rather have a less formal wedding and have everyone he wanted there rather than having a nicer wedding with smaller guest list. I feel like even if you have a 300 person wedding you have to draw the line somewhere.
  Posted by lvissers[/QUOTE]
  
  Sorry I don't agree with this.  Who invited these people? You and your FI or his family? If it was you guys then you guys need to pay up.  You made the mistake of looking for venues that held X amount of people and you had X amount for your budget. 

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• dramaqueen91087

  

  March 2012

  I know what you mean. We originally thought we'd have around 150, and had to garuntee 140. Well the list is currently at 183. Damn, at least the normal 20% decline rate puts at around 140. Luckily our venue is huge so we don't have to worry about that but I'm not sure how we'll pay for it if all 183 show up! I was about to FI because he has some friends on the list that I don't like and he never sees. He refuses to take them off the list. Its driving me nuts because he doesn't seem to care that we are so over budget right now.

  
  180 invited 145 are ready to party 35 are missing out 0! can't find the mailbox rsvp's due back June 20th!

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• aynos77 member

  

  March 2012

  I do feel a little guilt. Esp b/c we were to alot of wedding in the past few years and I kinda feel bad not inviting all of those couples to our wedding. but, one of the couples we literally haven't seen since there wedding almost 2 years ago. And the other I know for a fact we were B list... she handed me the invite instead of addressing, and we got it super late.. and handed me the thank you.. 9 months later, b/c she doesn't even have my address.. So I don't feel too guilty about that one.
  
  Of course there are people I wish we had room / $ to invite, but I feel like you have to draw the line somewhere or it would just be out of control.

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• butterflyjumper1

  

  March 2012

  We are inviting about 260 and even with that big of a number, there are lots of people who didn't make the cut. I have a huge family and we just couldn't afford to include everybody. Your dilemma is a tough one.
  
  We have included enough "wiggle room" in our budget so we aren't totally screwed if nearly everyone comes. We are HOPING to be around the 200 mark....but you just never know! I would recommend playing with your budget (if there is anything that you can play with at this point - we are pretty close to the wedding, so it might be tough for you!) But we are keeping like an extra $4000 ish unassigned in our budget just in case more guests RSVP than we are expecting to. This might make you feel better as you move along. 

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• mekiakoo member

  

  March 2012

  Us too. We wish we came up with the guest list BEFORE picking a venue. Our ceremony venue can hold 250 people, reception venue can hold 220 people. We had our list at maybe 330 and had to trim it down and I feel bad for not including some people.
  
  But I keep reminding myself that it's unrealistic to be able to invite every single person we want and people should be understanding. If we could, we'd probably have 600 people on our list!

  

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