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Wedding Etiquette Forum

Guestlist Etiquette

I need some advice on guestlist etiquette (I'll be ordering & sending my invites out soon).

My parents, FI, and I had finalized our guestlist about 6 or 7 months ago when I sent out the Save the Dates.  When working on the list we made a rule limiting "plus ones" to people who have been together 1 year or more, or are engaged, or of course married. (I would have loved to allow everyone to bring dates but that's not in our budget.)

At the time, my friend, let's call him Josh, I had alotted only one spot for because he was single (or so we all thought ?).  So about 5 months ago (Nov./Dec.-ish), Josh tells me has a girlfriend and he's been dating her for a year and a half.  (Mind you, no one in our group of friends knew anything about this (and it's odd he was still trying to flirt up a few of my friends 6 months ago.))  Apparently the story goes they met on World of Warcraft and have been dating on there and then in Nov. she moved down from Maine where she'd been living, to CT where he is.  Since she moved down I've never met her, only exchange a few facebook messages.  Anytime I've seen Josh, she hasn't been there for one reason or another, and only a couple acquaintances of mine met her.  Now as of maybe 3 weeks ago, they got engaged (sort of.) ( When I found out on facebook and txted Josh "congrats" he said she was sorting of pressuring/forcing him into it and that she's been wedding obsessed since she moved in with him.  He said he bought her a small ring as a gift and now she belives it an engagement ring and already "broke the news" to her parents and he doesn't know what to do so he's playing along for now.  All this said, this is partially his fault for not correcting her.)

In any case, I guess my question is now given their situation, would it be proper etiquette to invite her?  If money were no object I wouldn't even be asking this question, but we're on a tight budget.  Plus my parents have been giving me death threats (hah) if I add anyone else on (they are paying for a lot of the wedding).

So really, given their situation, is it proper etiquette to invite her?  During this wedding planning process I always believed in picking and choosing my battles, so is this something I should go to the mat for with my parents to get her on the list? (especially considering they'll point out that I've never even met her so they don't want to pay x amount for her plate).  I would just like to know so I don't offend anyone.
Live.The.Moment.
cSc 7.22.10
planning bio

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Re: Guestlist Etiquette

  • Sorry for the double post, I don't know why that happened.
    Live.The.Moment.
    cSc 7.22.10
    planning bio

    image

    image

  • If you were Josh's girlfriend, and he got a invite to a good friends wedding and you were not included how would you feel?  How would that you feel about his friends?


    If they are licing together I think you need to invite her
  • edited April 2010
    I would invite her. If he's been with her for that long, she makes the cut, according to the rules you've made for yourself. Either way, it's pretty rude to invite guests without a date, if they are in a relationship.
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  • They met on world of war craft? Am I the only one amused by this?

    You probably need to invite her if at all possible. It is the right thing to do. A plate of food is probably going to be less than the hassle of justifying to a friend why his live in girlfriend isn't a serious enough SO to attend your wedding.
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