So, here's the deal... I was born to a Jewish mother and a Catholic father and raised to know both religions and choose for myself. After a period of atheistic depressive hating in my teen years, I came to be a Christian and have since been going to a Protestant church. My decision to become a Christian was just that-- a decision based on research, intellect, and spirituality. I love comparative religion and admit that no fallible human being has gotten it right thus far and therefore am pretty much a "to each his own" type of gal. However, I have some serious reservations about certain Catholic doctrine/dogmas, but still respect the right of those who find spiritual fulfillment in the Catholic tradition.
Now, my FMIL was raised Catholic, though she doesn't go to Mass often (though she's been going more ever since the priest who married FMIL and FFIL was transferred to their parish, b/c she worries what he will think of the family). Still, she has made this HUGE fuss about the fact that my FI and I are going to Protestant churches in our search for a home church that will feed us both spiritually. He is not really wedded to his Catholic upbringing and admits that he is still trying to find his spiritual identity. She has told him many-a-time, though, that she fears that I am going to force him to abandon his "faith" and has expressed serious reservations about my influence on his spiritual life (oh, btw, her husband was Protestant when they met and "gave up
his "faith"" for her-- she made him "convert," though I don't call it that b/c it's the same darn religion, just different moves, you know?!!).
We are getting married at my home church where I grew up and where I still serve when I can get back into the area (doing VBS week, singing solos, even preaching occassionally), which is a Protestant church. I have gone to Mass at FMIL's church and felt so left out and felt emotionally distraught over the exlusion I felt (one of my biggest objections to the Catholic doctrine-- the idea that the Catholic church has a monopoly on the truth and that all other Christian denominations only have partial truth), especially when I could not take communion. That same day, she mentioned off-handedly how the priest had mentioned to her (aka, she had asked about it) how we could receive a dispensation from the Church so FI could receive the sacrament of marriage if we promise to raise our kids Catholic (see my post
http://forums.theknot.com/default.aspx?path=http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_pleasing-catholic-fmil-protestant-wedding for more info on THAT whole issue).
So, here's my question... Can anyone explain to me why this is such a huge deal for her?! She loves me in every other way but this whole religion thing keeps getting in the way, which I don't understand because we both believe in/serve/worship the same God. It would be very helpful to me if there are any mothers out there in her boat, but also any brides in my boat who could offer me advice on how to deal with this. It really bothers me that it is such a huge source of contention in our relationship and I worry that it will only get worse when we don't raise any future kiddos Catholic as well. Anyone who can shed some light on this, I'd really appreciate it! I want to understand and I want to make it better, but it just blows my mind that this is such an issue, especially when she doesn't seem to particularly follow the Catholic doctrine, but gets all up in arms that I don't.