Hello,
Ladies... I need some help. Oh boy do I need some help! Y'all will probably be shaking your heads and saying.. "is this woman for real??".. ha!
First - I kinda have to be discreet with actual information, as my FDIL does check out a lot of the different forums here on TK, and I am hoping beyond hope we can pull some of this off!. That said....
My son and FDIL are getting married in the Fall. They live in one state, her folks & majority of family in another, me & Stepdad in another, friends of son & FDIL in another, son's dad & SM in the state where the wedding is. Aye aye, LOL, poor kids, but I'll tell you, I absolutely adore my FDIL. The way my son comes alive when she is around - in a healthy way though, so hopefully that sounds right. My FDIL is a DIYer, and the stuff she has done & is still working on is absolutely amazing!
ANYWAY.. sorry, tangents, bad habit!
I absolutely feel that she should have a shower; in fact, when I talked to her mom, her mom said it was brought up, and while FDIL understood the logistics of having one (with absolutely no one living in the state son & FDIL live in) she really couldn't have a shower. Needless to say, FDIL's mom said she/FDIL was disappointed, but none-the-less, understanding.
WELL.. that just isn't going to happen. Nope, no way! The way this girl is working so hard on everything for the wedding, uh uh, no way. We're going to give her a shower!
Here are the problems.. which I really need some ideas, help, suggestion, you name it....
1. The wedding is a DW, in a state where only the groom's relatives live (with exception of me & Stepdad). So everyone - yes, pretty much everyone - will be OOT guests. Guests will be arriving Friday all during the day. The Rehearsal is scheduled for around 3-4pm. I HOPE to set the time for the RD BBQ/Picnic for around 5pm.
2. I am yes, hostessing the RD. BUT, I just cannot get past feeling rude by not including OOT folks. I've already discussed this with the MOB, she and I are on the same page. We laughed more on the phone than I have in a long time. The RD is going to be a backyard BBQ - and I went over this with my FDIL and she likes this idea more than a dinner somewhere. (in fact, it actually was their idea, but I resisted, thinking I *had* to be more formal). We are including ALL of the guest coming in from OOT. It's going to be very informal - I in NO way want to take anything away from the beautiful reception they are planning - and when I address the invitations, I'll make sure to say it's a drop in type of event, (still not sure how to word all this, so I'll be asking more about that!) We'll have croquet, lawn darts, and some other stuff.
---- /> AND, After discussing this with the MOB, we would like to have a SURPRISE shower for the BTB during the RD "bbq/picnic". I understand this is probably not very good as far as ettiquette, but 100% truthfully, there is no other time to have a shower for my FDIL.
3. I really, REALLY want to include her MOH & BM in the planning!! The problem? The MOH is her sister, and her sister cannot under *ANY* circumstances keep a secret for a surprise. Even the MOB told me this, my son told me this; but, I just so don't feel right NOT including the MOH & BM in the shower planning!! Help, help help me out here, what do I do??!!!!!
Allrighty, I know I talked too long sorry! This is all new to me - I actually will have another son getting married in about 2 years - he filled me in that he is finally proposing to his longitme GF, and I'm just as thrilled about this FDIL too!
Thoughts? Ideas? Suggestions? Comments?
I love my FDIL dearly, and I've been doing my best to only ask or comment for her whenever she asks me for my opinion or thoughts. I've read so many disheartening stories from girls on these boards dealing with FMIL's, I really feel bad and sad.
Thank you ladies - again, sorry for the long post!!