Another Question...Ceremony/Reception Guest List?

rebeccaa12 · June 2011

So,
We have a big hispanic family that will be enjoying our special day with us. We opted to have our ceremony at our Reception Venue as he is Catholic and I am not, so it is just the best fit for us.

However, our hall only has a 50-person capacity for the ceremony. My stance is to invite 25 closest from his side and 25 closest from my side for the ceremony, and then invite the other 250 for the reception only.

He wants to invite everyone to both the ceremony and reception and whoever doesn't make it on time just stands in the back or sit at a nearby table, as it will be a short service, anyway.

I don't know. I think if I invite you to the ceremony, then you should be offered a chair at least! What would you do?

[Deleted User] · June 2011

I am having the big fat mexican wedding, and we are doing it at the catholic church.
I am inviting everyone to the ceromony (our guest list is between 350-400) and I expect only about 50-60 people to show up at church though. Our culture tends to enjoy the party more than the blessings part. I would say invite maybe 75-100 people who you would like to be there, and expect at least 30-40.

rebeccaa12 · June 2011

Thank you! That totally helps! And Congrats!!

monkeysip · June 2011

Honestly, from an etiquette point of view, you have two options:

1. Invite ONLY immediate family to the ceremony. Everyone else comes to the reception only.

2. Invite EVERYONE to the ceremony, and every butt gets a seat. And then everyone is invited to the reception too.

It is improper etiquette to only invite people to the reception and not the ceremony (unless your ceremony is JUST immediate family). And it is also improper to make people stand during your ceremony, no matter how short it is. So the first option may be your best bet if you really want to have your ceremony at your reception location.

A third, less likely option is that your venue could let you do the ceremony in the same room as your reception, thus accommodating as many people as you like. You could have people go outside for a casual cocktail hour, while they flip the room into a reception style set-up. This may not be possible--just a suggestion.

As a side note, you don't have to be Catholic for the two of you to marry in the Church. If he doesn't plan on practicing his Catholic faith, and you don't plan on raising your kids Catholic, then don't worry about it. But if either of these last statements aren't true, you may need to discuss your ceremony options further.

rebeccaa12 · June 2011

Thanks, I appreciate your input and I agree.

The ceremony is in the same room as the reception (see photo attached to original post), but only allows for the 50 seat in a 'row' fashion. Yes, there will be the plenty of tables set up that are for the recption, but I suppose it seems a little strange to me to walk into a wedding and know that I can sit at the tables around. Ugh. I suppose maybe I can find a church, but since there isn't one that we regularly attend, I am afraid of getting rejected

monkeysip · June 2011

Rebecca,

I see your dilemma with the chairs. I've heard of some people doing the whole reception table set-up for the ceremony, but I agree that it is a little strange. Something to think about, I guess.

If you want to get married in a church (Catholic or non-Catholic), there are some that will marry non-members. They won't turn you away for not attending regularly, but they will want to know that you both are planning on practicing your faith to some degree. Obviously this is a personal issue that you and your FI need to talk about... what church will you attend when you're married (Catholic, non-Catholic, both, or neither?), do you want to raise your children in a particular religion, etc. As long as you both feel good about the decision you both come to.

Hope you figure something out!

Another Question...Ceremony/Reception Guest List?

Re: Another Question...Ceremony/Reception Guest List?

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