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7 bridesmaids, no idea they are supposed to throw this for me....

skuhmanskuhman member
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in Pre-wedding Parties
I am 23 and the first to get married of my close friends, I don't think any of my bridesmaids have any idea they are "supposed" to throw a wedding shower for me.... I honestly didn't know it was customary for the wedding party to throw one before I was going through this either.

  I would like one, and really I don't feel bad because there are 7-8 of them. I actually really just want the chance for everyone to get togehter before the wedding.... does anyone have experience or advice for this situation?

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Re: 7 bridesmaids, no idea they are supposed to throw this for me....

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    SaraAndrew2010SaraAndrew2010 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    It is common, but not required for the bridesmaids to throw a shower.  You are not owed a shower for your wedding.  If some of the BMs offer to throw you a shower, great.  But you should certainly not ask them to throw you one or hint that you want one.  Your wedding is 6 months away, so I wouldn't worry too much about showers.  There is still plenty of time for someone to offer to host one for you.
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    hlq2011hlq2011
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    edited December 2011
    No one is "supposed" to throw a shower or bachelorette party for you.

    The most you should do is, if someone asks when your shower is, say "as far as I know, nothing's planned."

    If they want to host one, they'll offer.  And remember, some people do surprise showers, which means someone might be planning something for you and you won't know it until it happens.

    Your wedding is six months away.  There's plenty of time.
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    SuMmErKuTiESuMmErKuTiE member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Ditto pp's.. no one is required to throw you a shower. Anyone but the bride and groom can throw the shower... BM's, your mom, your FMIL, your grandma, aunts, cousins, close friends, etc... That's an awful lot to ask of young girls in their early 20's, it's a big expense and a lot of work. Maybe your BM's will co-host with your mom or someone else. 

    You still have 6 months so I wouldn't be worrying about it yet. There's still plenty of time for people to plan one for you or it could be a surprise shower like pp's mentioned. 
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    rknox88rknox88
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    edited December 2011
    No one is required to throw you pre-wedding parties. However, there are several months before your wedding so I am sure between now and then your BM's will realize they have the option of throwing you a shower. It is really all up to their personal preference and financial situations though.

    If you really want everyone to get  together before the wedding you can host a bridesmaid's tea or luncheon.
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    RebeccaB88RebeccaB88 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011

    They aren't required to do anything other than get the dress and show up.

    Yeah, it would suck if you don't get a shower that you want, but them's the breaks.  Sometimes if people start asking and they hear that you don't know of one planned, then someone will take the initiative to do it.  I've just asked my Mom to let me know if anyone brings up the subject or offers to throw one (because I hate surprises), so the seed is planted with someone that I'd like one. 

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    heinz11mswheinz11msw
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    A bridal party is not required to do anything for you except show up on the big day and rehearsal (if they can). In my neck of the woods, BM don't throw showers. My mom is throwing mine and my friends mom's future mother in-laws threw theirs.

    You don't think your mom, aunt, grandma, etc would throw one for you?
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    jilld82jilld82
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Ditto to PPs and you should also change your SN.  You should never have your email address as the sn because people will try to get a hold of you.  Crazy people on the web.
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    Whippet8Whippet8 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I had a get together for all of my bridesmaids to hang out.


    My mother and aunt threw my bridal shower. my bridesmaids didn't have to pay a cent, and they were hardly involved in the planning.
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    skuhmanskuhman member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks guys, and I didn't mean to sound like I "require" a bridal shower.... I had just been looking on this board and reading about it because my parents group of friends is throwing us a couples shower and I was looking for the etiqutte for who to invite and read about the tradition of the BM's doing it.
    Also about the SN, I got this a long time ago and misunderstood the username/email thing and the knot will not change it. if I do I will lose all of my stuff on this accound including my website:(
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    deepcovejackiedeepcovejackie
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Maybe make a dummy account with no bio or website details just to post on the boards.  That's where security is at most risk, I reckon.
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