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South Asian Weddings

Family at the house..

So for the past few years, my mom's siblings have gotten their visa's approved and have been staying with us. Some family comes and go but I have an uncle who has been staying with us for the past few months now. I do not know what his plans are as far as what he plan on doing when his wife (my aunt) comes back to the States.

I told my mom, during the week of the wedding, I would really like no one home besides the parents, brother, his gf and no one else. I thought this way was best since it would lessen stress on us by not having to cater to other peoples needs, give space to all of us at a high-stress time and also, that our clothes, jewelry etc does not get lost or misplaced (which would make me furious). I do not want to seem rude by asking people to stay in another place (i.e., hotel, a family friend, etc).

Is that too much to ask? My mom isn't saying no and is agreeing with me but since we will have family coming in a month to the week before the wedding and staying with us at home, I do not want them feel like we (or I) am kicking them out; I just want my space since I won't have it for a while. It is also a way for me to have the last week with just my family (immediate) before I am married.

Re: Family at the house..

  • edited December 2011
    As much as I understand your feeling and also agree that it would be nice to have just your immediate family there at the house, I think it is rude to ask him/them to leave just for this. That's just my honest opinion.
  • HinajHinaj member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Ditto Mrs. Khan!!  I completely understand your need to have your immediate family with you and some alone time.  Asking them to stay somewhere else kind of is rude since you guys have invited them to stay in your home and is bound to cause some friction between your family and the relatives. 

    I don't know if its too much to assume that they might get the hint themselves and give you the privacy you need without putting you in that situation to begin with.  But I don't know if desi relatives get that kind of things.  I know my cousins wouldn't if they were staying with us. 
  • Bhanu&AnujBhanu&Anuj member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I hear ya....my parents have actually booked accomodations for our extended family (not even a 5 min drive away)...but my extended family doesn't want to live there hahaha...it's gonna be a family circus! lol!
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  • edited December 2011

    Wow your fam sounds a little too nice to let your extended family stay with them this long! I understand where you are coming from, I am having my BM's stay over at the place because we need to get ready together and just couple extended fam that have to be there for rituals and stuff! But no others that would cause too much stress I know what you mean
  • SonaliPopSonaliPop member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think they may take it wrong, although I understand you. I'm not sure what to tell you other than to tread carefully. You don't want bad blood so close to your big day. What does your Dad say?
  • edited December 2011
    Thanks everyone! I am just at a confused stage right now but that is OK. I still have a while and my mom is on the same page with me. So I guess as long as she understands, other people will too (hopefully :/)!
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