OMG... a WR gift question

kikibaby · June 2010

So, my new FIL didn't bring anything to the wedding. He asked H what we wanted (at the reception), and H told him we were registered at BB&B. About a week later, he emails H and says he doesn't like anything on our registry, so what do we want?

The only thing we need that's not our registry is money. There's a lot of work that needs to be done on our house before we can try and sell it, and we're really trying to minimize having stuff we don't need. Everything on our registry was replacement/upgrade type stuff.

We've been ignoring him, but he emailed H again today about what we want. Obviously, I know we can't say "CASH, GODDAMNIT!" Would it be awful to say "well, we need to replace the carpet in the house and fix this and that, blah blah blah", implying that the gift of cash would probably help us the most at this point if he doesn't want to buy off the registry?

MarriedInAFever · June 2010

If you two are comfortable enough with him, I would just be honest and suggest cash. He's your DH's father, right?

FutureMrsTR · June 2010

In this case and at this point, he's asking so tell him. You could phrase it the way you did in your post, mention something specific that his money would be going toward. Or maybe a gift card to a home improvement store to help you fix up the house?

kikibaby · June 2010

That's a good idea, TR (the gift card).

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · June 2010

I think you can say, "Well, we're fixing up the house, if that gives you any ideas. We'll be replacing the carpet soon." But considering he "didn't like" anything on your registry I'm not sure I'd trust him to get the hint.

And I thought *I* was bad at gift giving - but at least I'm fine with giving an envelope of cash or buying off the registry. Wedding gifts are probably the easiest type of gift out there.

kikibaby · June 2010

Yeah, well, we were hoping he could just figure out on his own if he didn't want to buy anything off the registry. I'm not sure what he wants us to say... come up with some other gift that wasn't on the registry? I mean, if we needed it, it's on there.

Clearly, he can't take a hint or he wants H to ask him.

mandysmear · June 2010

Yeah home depot gift card sounds good. I'd just be like, "why don't you get us a GC for lowes since we need to fix the house up. or our favorite restaurant is _____."

Simply Fated · June 2010

I love the idea of saying something like, "Well, we are looking to get some work done on our home, we can always use help with that." or something like that.

quotequeen · June 2010

Is it possible he wants something more "fun" to give you? Like if your registry is pretty traditional and he would rather get you an xbox? If there are any items that you want but didn't think were appropriate for a registry, I might mention those.

kikibaby · June 2010

Thanks everyone- H emailed him back and asked for a Lowe's or Home Depot gift card. We'll see how he feels about it

tenofcups4me · June 2010

I don't see any reason why you can't tell your FIL that you want cash or a gift card. He ASKED you want you want. There's nothing remotely rude about answering. He might, however, want to get you something that's more "permanent" or a "keepsake" type item rather than something for a house you're selling. Then again, he might not -- tell him and see what he says.

Patineuse1124 · June 2010

If he's not into giving cash or a GC ask him for a raincheck for when you get a new house. There's always stuff you'll need then.

samgirl · June 2010

he's family, and he's asking. you should just be honest that money is what would be most helpful. and tell him specifically what you would use it for so that when he comes over he'll be able to see how his gift really helped you

OMG... a WR gift question

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