How to honor parents at wedding?

Re: How to honor parents at wedding?

• tldh member

  

  November 2011 edited December 2011

  Bear with me because explaining this will take a minute.
  
  At our wedding, we did colored water in vases with a floating candle in each.  Behind the vases, we had smaller vases with the same colors of water which we poured into a center vase and lit a floating candle in this.
  
  We had a picture of my parents on their wedding day next to a vase filled with red water and a picture of DH's parents on their wedding day next to the vase filled with yellow water. 
  
  We wrote into our ceremony an explanation that we were using the examples of our parents' long marriage to be a guiding light for ours and asked everyone present to also impart their wisdom to us.
  
  After the ceremony, our MOH and Best Man moved all three vases with their lit candles and the wedding photos inside next to sheets of paper that we later made into a book.  On each sheet of paper we asked people for their advice for marriage.

  
  AKA GoodLuckBear14

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• Kate61487 member

  

  November 2011 edited December 2011

  you can list them in the program, have them seated during your processional, give them flowers (corsage/bout), have them involved in the unity ceremony if you're having one (typically moms light the side candles for the unity candle, or moms will bring up the sand colors for a sand ceremony.  PP seems to have done a water version of this).  You can also mention them in your speech if you give one at the wedding, or include them in a photo display.  Also, a thoughtful handwritten note would probably mean a LOT to them, and it's common to give the parents gifts at the RD as a thank you.
  
  The big thing here is that you don't want to offend your FI's parents by not including them.  Any remotely-public display should include all of your parents unless FIs parents are not in the picture.  Usually people do the above things to thank their parents for RAISING them, moreso than for helping with the wedding.  And if you specifically want to thank them for helping out with the wedding I think a personal note is your best option to not insult FI's parents

  

   
  

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• MairePoppy mod

  

  November 2011 edited December 2011

  ditto Kate.
  
  Recognizing your parents and not his could be construed as a public insult to his parents. Please don't do that. As an MOB, I would be very embarrassed if my daughter treated her FILs that way - even if she didn't intend it that way.
  
  The heartfelt handwritten note, presented privately to your parents before the wedding, would be something they would treasure far more than any public honor. Add a double picture frame with a picture of you and your parents in one side and a promise of a wedding photo of you, new husband and the two of them in the other. Perfect.
  
  
  
  
  

                     

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• StephBeanWed61502 member

  

  November 2011 edited December 2011

  My friend's parents paid 100% for her wedding (and went out of their way to give her her dream wedding, it was stunning).  Her and her huspand thanked her parents by having a spotlight dance for her parents, where the bride and groom made a short speech thanking them for how amazing they had been, and then the parents danced to their own wedding song.  From what I understand, the groom's family had a heads up about this beforehand, and it was fine with them.  All of the guests were also aware of the situation, so we all understood it was a special thank you to them for going above and beyond for the couple, and was not a slight to the groom's family.

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