Moms and Maids

Positive words of advice?

A friend of 27 years (not the greatest friendship, but still) decided to remove herself from not only the wedding, but from our friendship. I had been thinking of removing her myself, but had wanted to talk about things first.  She "dumped" me last week, with a text message. I let things cool down, and when I went to her house to try and talk things out, and maybe end things on a better note, but she wouldn't even let me in. She said she had nothing to say to me, and she didn't care what I had to say.

Im sad a 27 year friendship has come to an end, even tho it had become toxic, and Im pissed she wouldnt talk about it.  A lot of mutual friends seem to think she is jealsous, which I hate thinking because it sounds so immature. But maybe?

I always pictured her in my wedding party, and even MOH when we were kids. Im mostly ok with us not being friends, its something that will take time to get used too. But are there any positive words of advice as to how to let this go, and not always think about it during my upcoming festivites and wedding?


Re: Positive words of advice?

  • KarenofcourseKarenofcourse member
    Third Anniversary 10 Comments
    edited December 2011

    When you think about this person, please remember she removed herself from the wedding.  She made that decision.  You mentioned it was toxic-weddings are stressful enough, without having a drama queen or toxic person in the wedding party!  In time, I know you will know the best decision for both of you was made.

  • em01092em01092 member
    edited December 2011
    I'm sorry to hear you're going through this. Did something happen recently that triggered her behavior? Like Retread I wonder what happened here. 27 year friendships don't generally end overnight, although if you both had been aware the friendship was toxic maybe it should have ended a long time ago and neither one of you wanted to do it. 
    April Siggy Challenge-Wedding Escape: Reading HG/dreaming about Peeta.... Image and video hosting by TinyPic Wedding Countdown Ticker Bio-Updated 4/22**
  • edited December 2011
    I kinda think that we both knew it was toxic, and it seemed like we were only tryng to stay friends because it had been so long. Like if we gave up, what a waste it would have been, 
    Im sad to see the end, but am looking forward to not being dissapointed by her anymore. I also know what the trigger was.  About a week before this took place, she texted me 12 hours before she was to take my fiance, daughter, and myself to the airport, and said "I can't pick you up anymore, there is a family dinner". I got very mad, and we started arguing. Her bailing isnt' something unheard of, and I should have been prepared, but instead I fought with her over it. I know its childish, and I sent her a message the following morning apoplgizing for the level it got to, and that we should think about how toxic this friendship is.  So really, her pulling the pin isn't a shocker, its a dissapointment on how it all took place.

    I know time heals all wounds, but this timing couldn't have been worse.
    Thanks for the advice ladies, and not any snide or rude remarks
  • saric83saric83 member
    Ninth Anniversary 500 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    The only other thing I would add is that sometimes a friendship just runs its course, and there's nothing wrong with it.  It's crazy to try to force an unhealthy relationship just for the sake of the time previously spent.  Chalk it up to the idea that you were closer friends at a time in each of your lives when you needed each other.  And who knows?  Maybe years from now, you'll find yourselves in a spot where it would make sense to rekindle the friendship.  Good luck! 
  • edited December 2011
    That makes a lot of sense.  Thanks
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