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Distance/time between ceremony and reception too long??

aloisk57aloisk57
500 Comments
in Michigan-Detroit
Hi all!  I'm a newbie on here, I just got engaged to the love of my life at the end of September!  We have booked our reception for Nov. 10, 2012 at the Italian American Club in Livonia, MI.  We live in Royal Oak and our church is in Birmingham.  I had planned on having the ceremony at 4 so we could still have a tiny bit of light for our pics, and then having the reception start at 6 or 6:30.  Is it rude to make our guests drive 30 min to the reception?  Also, is a 1.5 or 2 hour gap between the ceremony and reception too much?  I figured we'd want an hour for our pics, plus 30 min for driving.  We were planning on having cider and donut holes at the church after the ceremony just to keep people occupied for a bit after the ceremony, and we were also thinking about putting out pictures of us as kids or something to keep people "entertained" so they didn't have to wait too long for the reception.  Would you be pissed if you were a guest at that kind of wedding?
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Re: Distance/time between ceremony and reception too long??

  • Mrs0toBeMrs0toBe member
    100 Comments First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    you know, gaps are such the norm around here that I'm always surprised when I go to a wedding that doesn't have one.   People expect them and plan accordingly.
    Don't worry about entertaining your guests.  Smile  I think a 30 min drive is fine

    congratulations!  We look forward to hearing all about your plans!
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  • Meegles4Meegles4 member
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I think the distance and time sound fine. I have close to a 3 hour gap and it sucks, but that's just the way it worked out. It's nice if you're thinking of some ways to entertain people, but that's not mandatory. We'll probably provide a list of things to do nearby in the program, but that's about it.

    Also in this area, we're used to driving, so I don't think going from Birmingham to Livonia is bad. Just give folks clear directions in the invitation and/or on the program (if you do one) from one place to the next and you'll be good.
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  • larzhopelarzhope member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I got married in bloomfield hills and had my reception at the Italian American Club.  It ended up being close to 40 mins with traffic.  no one really complained, at least not to me :)
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  • drewmwdrewmw member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I had never heard of gaps between the ceremony and reception before I joined the knot. I've never been to a wedding with a gap! But, as it turns out, my cousin who is getting married in March is having a 3 hour gap. I don't see anything wrong with it - it's just that I've never heard of it and so many people consider it normal!

    I wouldn't be pissed about driving 30 minutes. It's not that much. And congratulations :)
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  • Mrs0toBeMrs0toBe member
    100 Comments First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Plus your wedding is on a Saturday so traffic should be fine.  Just keep an eye open for any construction on 696 or 275 as the day of the wedding approaches.

    If there are lane closures it would be nice to prepare your guests
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  • matuofmmatuofm member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I certainly wouldn't blink at having to drive 30 minutes or so to a reception.

    I am in the minority here (I suspect), however, in saying that I hate gaps and think they suck hardcore.  Part of this is probably the fact that I don't like weddings anyway.  They are not my idea of a good time.  So attending your wedding ceremony and then having to find a way to twiddle my thumbs for two hours in an area I'm not familiar with while you're out with the people who are reallyactually important to you, just so I can meet up with you later for the second part of your wedding which I'm really not going to enjoy but am purely attending to support you as the friend/relative that I am...not something that makes me feel particularly appreciative.  Not that I in any way think that that's your evil plan, or something.  It's just how gaps make me feel and what leads to my opinion on them, if you were wondering.

    That said, I understand that sometimes they're necessary because of the times that  a specific church will hold its services.  And if it can't be helped, it can't be helped.  If it's only an hour and a half or so, I think it's nice to offer a cocktail hour for your guests while you're taking pictures.  But since your plans seem to be set already, at this point I'd say it's moot.  As you can see, none of the ladies before me would mind, so I'd guess that most of your guests won't.
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  • rcj2rcdrcj2rcd
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I've only been to one wedding without a gap. It's common around here. We had a 2 hour gap at ours - we had no choice, the church started at a specific time and we started the reception as early as the venue would let us. We put together an insert for the program of things to do (ceremony in Birmingham and reception in Rochester Hills), but I forgot to bring them! No one complained. There is a lot of things to do in Bham. Do you have a separate room for the cider/donuts at the church? Having the guests stay at the church may interfere with pictures you want to take at the church and at the altar after the ceremony.
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  • aloisk57aloisk57
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Yes, there is a community room that is perfect for the cider and donuts.  The grounds of the church are gorgeous, so we'll probably be outside to get those pics, then we're headed to downtown Birmingham for the rest of them.  I was worried at first that being so late in the year it would be dark for all of my pics, but now I'm excited!  I think downtown Birmingham at night will be gorgeous :)

    Thanks everyone for the advice!
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  • vk2204vk2204 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011

    Congrats and welcome!

    Gaps are common around here, I don't think I have ever been to a wedding and there was not a gap. I am also having my reception at the Italian American Banquet Center!! And I will probably end up with a 2-3 hour gap as well. No, I do not think 30 minutes is too long of a drive.

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  • moorelove11moorelove11
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I love the cider and donuts idea : ) Personally, I am not a fan of gaps but I don't think your situation sounds unresasonable at all!
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  • Milsey32Milsey32
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    30 minutes is a totally reasonable drive.

    However, like matuofm said, I don't like gaps either. I've only been to 1 wedding with a gap and FI and I literally sat in our car for 45 minutes at the reception site because we had nowhere to go and then went inside for 15 minutes in the foyer area while they were still setting up... and then the B&G didn't show up for another hour and a half and to me, that just seems like nonsense. 
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  • Tanya2012Tanya2012 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    It seems normal to have a gap if you're have your wedding at church.  The only time I haven't had a gap was when the ceremony and reception were in the same spot.   I'm struggling with the length of a gap too since we're getting married in the winter and it gets dark early...fiance is worried about natural light for photos after the ceremony and I know he's right!  Unfortunately, we'll probably end up having a 2 hour gap...
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  • Melissa and RoyceMelissa and Royce
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
         There's no way around it, churches are strict about times...  Besides, gaps are ok if there's a bar around :)
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  • aloisk57aloisk57
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_distancetime-between-ceremony-reception-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:88Discussion:35f69a28-59a1-4c97-a957-53664836f3d0Post:d8e3ff88-56cd-4b82-89ea-08f7278a5b48">Re: Distance/time between ceremony and reception too long??</a>:
    [QUOTE]It seems normal to have a gap if you're have your wedding at church.  The only time I haven't had a gap was when the ceremony and reception were in the same spot.   I'm struggling with the length of a gap too since we're getting married in the winter and it gets dark early...fiance is worried about natural light for photos after the ceremony and I know he's right!  Unfortunately, we'll probably end up having a 2 hour gap...
    Posted by Tanya2012[/QUOTE]


    I was worried about natural light as well (11/10/12, so AFTER the darn time change!) but we're just gonna work it!  We're getting sparklers and going to downtown Birmingham...I think the pics are going to be completely awesome and unique!  Everyone has pictures on sunny days in fields...I'm kind of digging the night photo idea :)  Good luck!
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