Do readers, presenters of gifts have to be catholic?

vwhelan85 · October 2012

I was wondering if the readers had to be catholic? We have one biblical reading and one non-biblical. Also do the people who bring up the gifts (either communion or a symbol of my deceased father) have to be catholic?

I don't want to bug my priest so any help would be amazing!

Coco1988 · October 2012

I initially located this quote for you from catholicweddinghelp.com the following is stated about readers:

"Because the role of reader is a sacred task, you will probably want to choose a person of faith as your reader."

Our priest gave us a booklet called 'Together for Life' and I believe it did mention in there (not sure how it was worded) that your readers should be catholic or at the very least people of faith and that the readings are to be biblical readings and to save things like poetry or special song lyrics for other times other than the ceremony if you want to incorporate them into your wedding.

My booklet is with my fiance otherwise I would have pulled a few direct quotes from it regarding this. That was one of the first things I flipped to because many of my family members are not catholic and I would have loved to have them do a reading at my ceremony.

sigmaurse · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_do-readers-presenters-of-gifts-have-to-be-catholic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:48854bbd-7a97-4a3e-92fd-c4cca20ff507Post:d3bf3f20-abf5-4839-ba6c-d8b99d21423f">Do readers, presenters of gifts have to be catholic?</a>:
[QUOTE]I was wondering if the readers had to be catholic? We have one biblical reading and one non-biblical. Also do the people who bring up the gifts (either communion or a symbol of my deceased father) have to be catholic? I don't want to bug my priest so any help would be amazing!
Posted by vwhelan85[/QUOTE]

<div>I'm pretty sure if you are doing a Catholic Ceremony you have to have biblical readings, if you are doing a Mass then you for sure have to have biblical readings. I think the actual readers just need to be Christian and not Catholic.</div>

kgrawedding · October 2012

Ditto PP that non-biblical readings are not usually permitted during a Catholic ceremony. You could have someone read the non-biblical reading at the rehearsal dinner or reception.

Readers don't have to be Catholic, but should believe in what they are reading. My first reader is not Catholic but she does have a strong Christian faith.

I've read that the gift bearers don't have to be Catholic either, but I would think it would make sense to have someone who believes in the Eucharist bring up gifts.

theelusive1 · October 2012

We were told they do not have to be Catholic but they have to believe in what they are reading. I am sure it is a church by church basis.

professorscience · October 2012

Agree that your readings actually have to come from the Bible (and if you need help picking something, the ladies on here are excellent for that!).

Most of our readers and gift presenters were Catholic because we used family, but my father did the NT reading, a bridesmaid was our cantor, and my husband's SIL brought the gifts and none of them are Catholic. It is probably a good idea to at least have religious people doing these things, so that they at least have some reverence for the task. I've heard stories of poor couples with family who are completely nonreligious who just mock the church and everything about faith and I wouldn't want someone like that participating in my wedding.

bibliophile2010 · October 2012

Ditto others that you are going to need the prescribed types of readings, that your readers should believe what they are reading, and your gift bearers should be Catholic. Our readers and gift bearers were Catholic, but our Prayers of the Faithful reader was a devout non-Catholic Christian.

Regarding the gifts presentation, while a symbolic monetary gift for charity or for the poor may be allowed or encouraged, it is not the place to remember your late father. The gifts have very particular religious meaning, and memorials is not one of them. I am truly sorry for your loss -- I am also a member of the deceased parent club, so I understand the desire to have them be a part of your day. I would just look to include him in another way.

Finally, I would strongly encourage you to bug your priest, or find out if there is another person who helps with weddings. Even the parish secretary may be able to answer some of your questions. Often these questions/situations are dealth with on the parish or diocesean level, so us scattered around the country/world can't necessarily tell you what your particular priest will or will not allow.

ootmother2 · October 2012

I (MOB) brought the gifts up together with the groom's uncle who is Lutheran.

No one asked what our religions were.

Calypso1977 · October 2012

Also do the people who bring up the gifts (either communion or a symbol of my deceased father)

what exactly this this?

vwhelan85 · October 2012

Our priest told us we could have a non biblical reading. He suggested we bring up a representation of my father to say that he is watching over us. It is presented with the communion. We were going to bring a teddy bear my dad bought for me in the hospital when I was born. Some people display a picture of the deceased but I decided against that.

itzMS · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_do-readers-presenters-of-gifts-have-to-be-catholic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:48854bbd-7a97-4a3e-92fd-c4cca20ff507Post:f643f513-4402-4510-9c8e-00c2e1d74f56">Re: Do readers, presenters of gifts have to be catholic?</a>:
[QUOTE]Our priest told us we could have a non biblical reading. He suggested we bring up a representation of my father to say that he is watching over us. It is presented with the communion. We were going to bring a teddy bear my dad bought for me in the hospital when I was born. Some people display a picture of the deceased but I decided against that.
Posted by vwhelan85[/QUOTE]

Are you sure you're getting married in a Catholic church? Non-biblical readings seem pretty disrespectful.

And please PLEASE reconsider the teddy bear idea. I'm sure it's important to you, but speaking as someone who has a father that is also deceased, I cringed at the thought of a gift bearer carrying a teddy bear, in a church, as a "symbol". Could you do something more subtle and respectful? Perhaps a bit of fabric from a shirt or tie of your dad's tied around your bouquet? Maybe a piece of jewelry that he gave to you or your mother? Or, if you must have a visible symbol, what about a lit candle on the altar? Did he have a favorite color or flower? If so, you could have a beautiful altar arrangement made.

Calypso1977 · October 2012

im quite honestly shocked that your priest is allowing this.

most people who want to honor someone deceased do it via the program or they sometimes have somethign set up at the reception. others think its in poor taste to do anything for teh deceased since a wedding is meant to be a happy occasion.

i would maybe rethink this idea and think of some other way to honor your deceased father if that's the way you want to go. the whole concept seems to me like a "contacting of the spirits" type thing which defnitely is not catholic.

Riss91 · October 2012

Can the teddy bear be in the pew?

I agree with pp.... it is not respectful to the Catholic faith (whether a priest allows it or not) to have a bear brought up with the gifts. The gifts should be brought up by practicing Catholics as they are what becomes the pinnacle of the mass. I also agree that a biblical reading should be read by someone who is Christian, and believes in the words they are saying.

There really shouldn't be anything non-religious in the ceremony, but if you really want to use the reading - why not put it in the program, or have it read at the reception?

professorscience · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_do-readers-presenters-of-gifts-have-to-be-catholic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:48854bbd-7a97-4a3e-92fd-c4cca20ff507Post:8f3c1499-e33f-48b7-946f-261d15fd86af">Re: Do readers, presenters of gifts have to be catholic?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Do readers, presenters of gifts have to be catholic? : Are you sure you're getting married in a Catholic church? Non-biblical readings seem pretty disrespectful. And please PLEASE reconsider the teddy bear idea. I'm sure it's important to you, but speaking as someone who has a father that is also deceased, I cringed at the thought of a gift bearer carrying a teddy bear, in a church, as a "symbol". <strong>Could you do something more subtle and respectful? Perhaps a bit of fabric from a shirt or tie of your dad's tied around your bouquet? Maybe a piece of jewelry that he gave to you or your mother?</strong> Or, if you must have a visible symbol, what about a lit candle on the altar? Did he have a favorite color or flower? If so, you could have a beautiful altar arrangement made.
Posted by itzMS[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>This actually sounds like a beautiful idea. I was actually at a wedding where the bride carried several family trinkets attached to her bouquet, and each was explained in the program. It was lovely.</div>

vwhelan85 · October 2012

You al have convinced me to not have the bear presented for my father. I do have a charm with his picture on it for my bouquet. I also will ask my priest if he really is ok with a non biblical reading. I think he suggested it because my mom's family is all jewish so he wanted them to feel more welcomed as a reader. Thanks for all your suggestions everyone!

vwhelan85 · October 2012

You al have convinced me to not have the bear presented for my father. I do have a charm with his picture on it for my bouquet. I also will ask my priest if he really is ok with a non biblical reading. I think he suggested it because my mom's family is all jewish so he wanted them to feel more welcomed as a reader. Thanks for all your suggestions everyone!

Calypso1977 · October 2012

well if your mom's family is jewish, then wouldnt an old testament reading work?

glad you rethought the bear thing. there are defintiely a lot of ways ot honor your dad - that would probably be more meaningful.

VJones1981 · October 2012

We just met with our priest yesterday. He told us that all readers should believe in what they are reading, though they do not have to be Catholic. He suggested that, if any of the the readers are Jewish, they read from the Old Testament. That way you can still include your family and all the readings are still from the Bible.

HeatherSP13 · February 2013

We just planned our Catholic ceremony with priest. We are not having a Mass. My fiance is not Catholic but I am. 1/2 of both of our families are Catholic. Our readers are faithful catholics. Only 1 of 6 bridesmaids/groomsmen are catholic. I felt very important for readers to be catholic.

Do readers, presenters of gifts have to be catholic?

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