Rehearsal dinner cookout

angel2210 · June 2010

I know some of the ladies around these parts went the cookout route for their rehearsal dinner and I have a question.

I wanted to do this at one of our state parks in my hometown. I figured it'd be cheaper and MUCH more laid back which, I think, is going to be important for the night before the wedding. FI had agreed with me whole heartedly on this. Then he talked to his mom. Now, I LOVE FI's mom and I know she's got good intentions, but she frustrates me sometimes. She told FI that we should consider having it catered because it will apprently be sooo stressful having to worry about getting everything out there (which I don't understand since we all have to go out there anyway so all the fixins would just be riding with us). She pointed out that FI's dad doesn't really like cooking on the grill, which was irrelevant since my step-dad loves to and already offered to do it. All I wanted was something simple, hot dogs, burgers, maybe some brats and then some cookouty type sides. She wants to have BBQ catered in.

So for those of you that went this route, was it really all that stressful getting everything together?

georgia_bride09 · June 2010

If your FMIL is willing to pay for catering, then by all means, do it.

But if not, then truck all your stuff in. How many people is it? Unless it's like 100 people, then I don't think it would be TOO hard. Are you picking up everything between the rehearsal and the RD?

angel2210 · June 2010

It'll be maybe 25 people at most. They're willing to pay, but said it's ultimately up to us. Like I said, I know she's just trying to be helpful but it's just not what I wanted.

The plan was to have everything ready to go before the rehearsal, all the plates and cup and silverware, and then pick the food up at my mom's on the way through because it's on the way to the park.

mandysmear · June 2010

I catered our rehearsal dinner. Everything was fine. We had about 30 people.

I premade some lasagnes, bought caesar salad from costco, got garlic bread from the store. There's no doubt in my mind that you can whip up a couple salads a day or two before and slow cook some beans the day of.

sarah0725 · June 2010

My brother and his wife had a picnic in a park the day before the wedding, and it was lovely. I think we had some deli trays of sandwich meat and stuff, but a lot of other people brought prepared food and it was just fine. I can understand why your FMIL might be stressing about it a bit, because I've been getting a lot of "don't plan to do too much right before the wedding" advice too, but if your family has already offered to take care of a lot of the food stuff, then it should be fine.

Just make sure that you don't leave anything else for the last minute, and maybe make some lists of everything that needs to happen to make the barbecue run smoothly.

AllAboutTheBenjamin · June 2010

Well... if your step-dad offers to cook, I don't see why it's a hassle if everyone brings a dish. And it's certainly cheaper.

ohwhynot · June 2010

I can see her point. Someone is going to have to go shopping, make sure all the stuff (including plates, forks, knives, cups, napkins, tablecloths) is in the car, pack all the meats into coolers, make sure there's enough ice for the coolers so no one gets good poisoning, make sides like potato salad and beans and stuff, keep that adequately cold, provide drinks, haul charcoal, make sure drinks get iced, spread the tablecloths, put out the condiments, wipe up spills as they happen . . .

Then afterwards, clean up, pack up the leftovers, unpack the car at home, put stuff away, wash out containers, etc.

It adds up to a lot of work that she doesn't want to in the day or two before the wedding.

ETA: I posted this before I saw your response. In any event, I'm not sure how barbecue catered in is all that much different from what you want. You'd still get the relaxed vibe and the park, right?

lauralaur · June 2010

For 25 people the biggest pain I see is packing and unpacking like OWN pointed out. And ditto Sarah, lists will be your best friends in this scenario. How early is your rehearsal? If you're all getting to the park at four or five I'd say it shouldn't be a problem (or if the "dinner" will be over lunch time), but I don't think you'll be wanting to clean up and put everything away late at night.

My other concern is weather, is this a covered area? If yes and you won't be out too late, I'm all for it. I would kill for a burger right now actually...

aragx6 · June 2010

I think I'm with OWN now. it's the sort of thing that would be super easy if there wasn't a wedding the next day. I wouldn't need one more thing to stress over. And getting bbq from a catering company shouldn't be a huge expense anyway.

hugz415 · June 2010

Be careful with the rules of state parks. I know in PA you cannot bring any "adult beverages". Also, alot of them close at dusk so you will have to pack up and be outta there by then. Just a thought.

We are doing a BBQ but we are having it catered at our reception site. All the OOT guests are staying there so it makes it easy and no one has to go anywhere.

HEATHERM10 · June 2010

We are doing a park picnic type RD its way cheaper my FMIL is buying all the food and my boss will prepare it all for us. It should be a low key fun evening. Id say if shes paying let her do it however she wants. That way your stepdad will be able to relax and enjoy the evening too

kijpost · June 2010

Lists, lists and more lists is the best way to stay organized. My FI is too warning me of too many last minute projects and vetoed the DIY RD. I guess it just depends how many other last minute projects you are going to have to worry about. If everything is taken care of then cook away but if you have a lot of decorating to worry about then let the FIL pay for the caterer.

[Deleted User] · June 2010

We had more than 25 people at our RD but we did cater it. It was at my parents house, bonfire style. It was a huge relief to not have to worry about food. Someone will have to be in charge of changing out dishes if they get low and making sure cold food gets kept cold, etc. It is up to you, but there are some major perks to having it catered. BTW, we just had bbq pork, green bean casserole, and hashbrowns catered and we bought chips, dip, soda, and other things on our own.

angel2210 · June 2010

It'll be early-ish. The rehearsal will be at 2 and then out to the park after that.

The place we'll be doing it is an old barn that has indoor/outdoor seating and cooking areas, so no worries with the weather, and alcohol is allowed but we weren't planning on having any anyway.

As far as cleanup and such goes, my family is VERy familiar with the routine of large cookouts, we do it every year for Memorial Day and have even done it at this place. A lot of this has already been discussed and thought about.

I think the main thing is his mom isn't accustomed to this kind of thing and doesn't realize how easily it actually can be done.

HEATHERM10 · June 2010

I know they can be done easy a family BBQ but I do see her opinion on this. Technically isnt the groom parents to plan and pay for the RD. I think its nice she is letting you have input to what goes on. I think she is just trying to make it as easy as possible on everyone. So are you expecting the guests to bring the sidedishes? Or just you and FMIL?

pooh8402 · June 2010

then I would just explain it to her that your family is cooking and that they've done this multiple times before, listing specific incidents (like: Memorial Day 2009, we had XX people and cooked out and this is how it went). cookouts for 50+ are done in my social circle all the time, with no cooking facilities whatsoever, so your situation sounds totally doable to me.

Rehearsal dinner cookout

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