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Planning around a deployment??

USMCBride90USMCBride90
100 Comments
in Military Brides
Has anyone ever tried to plan a wedding without knowing what day the wedding will be? My fiance is currently stationed out in California and will be getting deployed, and I'm not sure how far in advance I'll be able to plan certain things. We will be getting married once he returns home from his deployment, but his deployment date has been pushed back quite a few times now so we're really not sure when we can set a date. Has anyone been in this situation before, or have any tips on how to plan things  without an exact time frame?
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Re: Planning around a deployment??

  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_planning-around-deployment?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:bd7dc5aa-1f9d-4803-b8df-96e05d28fda1Post:ee084248-d8be-4b9c-a1cf-aeb5ba96f225">Planning around a deployment??</a>:
    [QUOTE]Has anyone ever tried to plan a wedding without knowing what day the wedding will be? My fiance is currently stationed out in California and will be getting deployed, and I'm not sure how far in advance I'll be able to plan certain things. Has anyone been in this situation before, or have any tips on how to plan things  without an exact time frame?
    Posted by USMCBride90[/QUOTE]

    <div>Yes, many of us have been there.  The easiest thing is to plan for a few months after the deployment.  Never try and plan for the week he comes home, or even the first month, because dates are always subject to change.  Usually there's a good chance that they will be home for a few months after a deployment, but that's never a guarantee.  </div><div>
    </div><div>We picked our venues out, but didn't book anything until we knew what would be safe.  Then I just called the church and reception venue and said I needed a list of all available Fridays and Saturdays in July and August, compared the lists, and were left with 2 dates to pick from.  </div><div>
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  • USMCBride90USMCBride90
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011

    Thank you for the input! We would definitely not plan the wedding for right when he gets back. I know alot of people say that you have to book a venue and such months in advance. But the way you did it seemed to work. I just don't want it to get down to the wire within the last couple months and find out when he's coming home and then not have any dates to choose from for wedding venues.

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  • megmac24megmac24
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    This is exactly what I'm doing right now. He left 2 weeks after we got engaged so he really wanted to help pick the venue before he left. We have an estimate for when he'll be home so we picked our date about 4 months later so we'll be safe. We also got military clauses in all of our contracts in case we had to move the date or cancel the wedding for any reason. 
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  • USMCBride90USMCBride90
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thank you, that gives me a better idea of how to go about planning for some things! They keep pushing the date he's supposed to leave back, so we're not quite sure when he'll leave or get home.Thanks for the input!
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  • SamiJoeBSamiJoeB
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Unfortunately deployments are part of our military SO life. I know lots of women who have planned amazing weddings in 6 months or less. My advice is before he leaves, sit down and talk about your wedding. Talk about what you both want. If he wants a backyard BBQ and you want a formal wedding for 400, you'll need to find compromise and that will be hard while he's deployed. Find out how involved he wants to be with the planning. Chances are when he's able to call you he won't have long to talk, and talking about the flower halo for the flower girl won't be high on his list of priorities. After he leaves, Email him stuff, look into DIY projects for the wedding, keep yourself busy, and if you have to book things before he gets back, make sure you get a military clause. HTH.. sorry I ramble..
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  • kara811kara811 member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    The girls gave you great advice and pretty much covered it all. But I just wanted to add, when looking at vendors, be sure to ask about a military clause! This helps in the event the schedule changes, you won't lose out on any money and can easily rebook your date etc. 
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  • USMCBride90USMCBride90
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks for the heads up on the military clause! I've never heard of that so I'll be sure to ask for then when the time comes. Thanks girls!
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  • heather0711heather0711
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Fi is deployed right now and the wedding is in January but his EAS is the begining of December. So I guess I'm not really  planning "around" a deployment but I am definitely planning while he's deployed and we had gotten stuff done months in advance so that he could be apart of some of it. 
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  • jensenlewisjensenlewis
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Grrrr. Don't you just LOVE deployment? (Can everyone sense my enthusiasim?) Haha. Anyway, fortunately my FI just returned from a deployment so I haven't had to have the headache and the stress of bouncing around different wedding dates and not knowing when or what I'm able to plan. But, I still feel for you. Like the girls said, give yourself plenty of time from his ETA back in the states, you don't want him to come home to bridezilla either! Haha. That way you have some time to just enjoy HIM and let him unwind from his deployment before having to jump into wedding plans and "gotta do this, gotta do that" kind of stress.

    PS... on a brighter note, my FI was once in a situation where they kept changing his deployment date then they ended up cancelling their deployment completely. While it may not be realistic in all situations, keep your fingers crossed and hope for a short deployment!!! :)
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  • USMCBride90USMCBride90
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Funny you say that jensenlewis!! My finance was originally supposed to deploy in February. Had all his stuff in storage and was scheduled to leave a week after returning from predeployment leave. Needless to say, his unit got put on standby and we're still waiting! He's supposed to leave pretty soon, but we'll see if it actually happens. So right now I have no idea when he's leaving or when he'll be returning. I guess planning this wedding will just be another part of this crazy adventure!!
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  • jensenlewisjensenlewis
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011

    Haha. Well, I will keep my fingers crossed for you!!  Gotta love the military, right? ;) Is this going to be the first deployment for you? Anyway, wedding or delployment... whatever help or advice I can give you on either topic, feel free to holler! :)

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  • USMCBride90USMCBride90
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thank you :) It's definitely been an adventure! And yes this will by my first deployment as well as his.
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  • jensenlewisjensenlewis
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Oh goodness! Well, some advice I learned from my first deployment 4 years back, keep your mind occupied while he's gone or you'll have yourself going crazy. And keep yourself around good friends and family. And always remember, no matter how hard it is for you when he's gone... its even harder for him. Stay strong for your Marine and you'll make it through just fine. :) Oh, and... invest in a web cam just incase you don't already have one. Any opportunity you have to "see" each other via the web.. jump at it! Call me a baby but I swear I probably teared up everytime I got to see his face and it always made me feel better. :)
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  • USMCBride90USMCBride90
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thank you :) Oh I've definitely already got a webcam and skype!! We've been long distance for 2 out of the 3 1/2 years we've been together, so skype is a life saver. I've got lots to keep me busy and some good friends around to have my girls nights with :) I was sort of able to mentally/emotionally prepare myself (if that's even possible!) when we first thought he was leaving. My motto: the sooner he leaves, the sooner he can come home lol So all I gotta say is Bring it on deployment!
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  • jwright115jwright115 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_planning-around-deployment?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:bd7dc5aa-1f9d-4803-b8df-96e05d28fda1Post:8771f782-a489-4a69-ac87-278dc8a238a7">Re: Planning around a deployment??</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thanks for the heads up on the military clause! I've never heard of that so I'll be sure to ask for then when the time comes. Thanks girls!
    Posted by USMCBride90[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>I haven't heard of a military clause either! Do you think most reception places have these?? Thanks for all the helpful info. on here, ladies!!! </div>
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  • calindicalindi member
    5000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Jwright - you definitely have to ask places to add it to the contract. Unless it is a specific military venue, like on base or Shades of Green at Disney, chances are it isn't standard. But I'd be really skeptical of any vendor or venue who refused to add it and I probably wouldn't sign a contract with them. Take into consideration, though, that vendors like florists and caterers will likely be more hesitant since they may incur costs if it is cancelled last minute. For these, I offered to add to the military clause that all costs associated with canceling would be our responsibility, at cost (rather than mark up). Let us know if you need suggestions on how to word it!

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