they're going to get drunk.

dwebster02 · May 2010

i know people like to drink at wedding receptions. not really a problem. for myself, i plan on having maybe a beer or two, and for sure a glass of champagne. but i definitely don't want to be a drunk bride.

my fiancee and his friends though - huge partiers. i don't think i'll have problems getting my fiancee to tone down his drinking (he wants to have a "successful" wedding night) but his groomsmen are a totally different story. my mother told me that i should skip over my fiancee and speak to my future father in law about talking to the guys about controlling themselves at the reception.

i kinda think going over my fiancee's head to his father to talk to the boys about not getting too sloppy drunk at the reception seems like a bit much - but at the same time, i DO have legitimate concerns that they should be talked to. i don't want to tell them not to drink, and i wouldn't expect them not to drink. i think if my fiancee talked to them they may not take it as seriously.

ugh.

tidetravel · May 2010

Your GMs are adults. They don't need to be "talked to" about their drinking, especially by you. And if your FI can't respect your wedding enough not to get shitfaced, then you have bigger problems than a drunk wedding party.

tidetravel · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_theyre-going-drunk?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:674ec194-f7c1-46c3-8d29-9b6727760a36Post:fa6815cc-2adf-4eb9-bfa7-32a2e81b4372">they're going to get drunk.</a>:
[QUOTE]i know people like to drink at wedding receptions. not really a problem. for myself, i plan on having maybe a beer or two, and for sure a glass of champagne. but i definitely don't want to be a drunk bride. my fiancee and his friends though - huge partiers. i don't think i'll have problems getting my fiancee to tone down his drinking (he wants to have a "successful" wedding night) but his groomsmen are a totally different story. my mother told me that i should skip over my fiancee and speak to my future father in law about talking to the guys about controlling themselves at the reception. i kinda think going over my fiancee's head to his father to talk to the boys about not getting too sloppy drunk at the reception seems like a bit much - but at the same time, i DO have legitimate concerns that they should be talked to. i don't want to tell them not to drink, and i wouldn't expect them not to drink. i think if my fiancee talked to them they may not take it as seriously. ugh.
Posted by dwebster02[/QUOTE]

goheels05 · May 2010

This is really a bad idea. Tide is right. It is only going to reflect poorly on you, whereas if they get wasted, that reflects poorly on them.

SaraAndrew2010 · May 2010

I don't think you should have anyone speak to your FI's friends. I'm in a similar situation with my FI inviting a bunch of his frat brothers who are heavy partiers. I feel like having someone tell them to behave would just annoy them and encourage them to be more obnoxious.

What you can do is talk to your bartender and ask him not to serve anyone who is visibly drunk (which is what he should be doing anyway). You can also ask him not to serve shots. Also, if you have a wedding coordinator or reception hall manager, ask them to keep an eye out for unruly behavior.

ChelseaBFH · May 2010

Talk to the bartenders at the reception, and tell them to look out for the groomsmen. Give the bartenders license to make their drinks weaker or even cut them off if they start being obnoxious. I wouldn't have my fiance talk to them (it might encourage them), but you might want to tell him to be ready to tell them to take it down a notch if he needs to.

trix1223 · May 2010

You have a fiance, not a fiancee.

Your fiance will look whipped in front of all of his friends if his bride to be makes his daddy talk to them about drinking. Don't do it.

Tell the bartenders not to serve people who have had too much to drink.

dwebster02 · May 2010

thanks for the spelling lesson.

i'll talk to the bartenders.

PetraStonegirl · May 2010

Actually, trix offered you a finer point than just spelling. Prepare to giggle... fiancee is the female counterpart, fiance is the male. So, it wasn't that you were misspelling it, only calling your fiance a girl. Which, in agreement with PP's, his friends might consider him to be if you have his father talk to them about drinking!

I agree, talk to the bartender. Approach it from a liability standpoint. No serving impaired guests = no lawsuits stemming from drunk drivers.

Jenelle42 · May 2010

First of all, I think you SHOULD voice your concerns to your fiance just so he knows how you feel. Second, the GM's are adults and should behave themselves and if you think otherwise perhaps you should have your fiance talk to them because if they don't respect him enough to take him seriously and think he is "whipped" then why are they in the wedding? If he does have a talk with them it should be coming from his concerns also as in he would like them to behave at the wedding not you wanting them to behave at the wedding. Also if you are that concerned then maybe you should put a drink limit on everyone not just the GM's, such as two bottles per table or no open bar. Hope I helped.

megk8oz · May 2010

Ditto everything Tide said.

I speak from personal experience, if somebody makes an ass out of themselves at your wedding, people aren't going to blame or judge you for it ... they're going to blame and judge the people that are making an ass out of themselves. And usually the only reason anybody pays more than a few minutes attention to people behaving poorly at a wedding is if they see the bride or groom flipping out about it. If you don't let it bother you, neither will your guests.

katmstrange · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_theyre-going-drunk?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:674ec194-f7c1-46c3-8d29-9b6727760a36Post:74793e4e-3798-49d1-b849-c445f0a69b27">Re: they're going to get drunk.</a>:
[QUOTE]Your GMs are adults. They don't need to be "talked to" about their drinking, especially by you. And if your FI can't respect your wedding enough not to get shitfaced, then you have bigger problems than a drunk wedding party.
Posted by tidetravel[/QUOTE]

This

fatchunk · May 2010

your concerns are completely valid. i have the same ones. my fiances huge scottish family is going to get tipsy no doubt. BUT for me, as long as my husband (heehee) doesnt get drunk, i'm good. you cant control people, but you can talk to your bartender just like other posters said. and you can have a talk with your fiance! i did. and he totally understood, i dont know yours but if you approach him calmly and with respect, he will probably understand.

dwebster02 · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_theyre-going-drunk?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:674ec194-f7c1-46c3-8d29-9b6727760a36Post:a6e7a07e-ec7b-4965-9395-8e3187f3c48f">Re: they're going to get drunk.</a>:
[QUOTE]Actually, trix offered you a finer point than just spelling. Prepare to giggle... fiancee is the female counterpart, fiance is the male. So, it wasn't that you were misspelling it, only calling your fiance a girl. Which, in agreement with PP's, his friends might consider him to be if you have his father talk to them about drinking! I agree, talk to the bartender. Approach it from a liability standpoint. No serving impaired guests = no lawsuits stemming from drunk drivers.
Posted by PetraStonegirl[/QUOTE]

yeah - the internet is a wondrous thing, a little googling helped me - so thanks again for the redundant spelling lesson. i got the memo.

again, i'll just talk to the bartender.

Jess_mason84 · August 2010

Ok some people are of course going to get drunk at your wedding. It just happens. At least it couldn't be better then my uncle. As it turns out he was the life of the party

If anyone is worse at your wedding...well I can't even imagine that!

Belle2Be · August 2010

I hear you OP, my FI's groomsmen are his frat brothers, and half of the guests too. Adults my ass, I'm not dealing with someone getting smashed and vomiting on my cake table or whatever. Talk to you FI, tell him you want him to not have to worry about it, so can he please have his dad give the guys a pep talk and include Do Not Get Smashed in it. Don't go over his head or anything, he's your partner you know? If you have a wedding coordinator, they can watch for that stuff too.

vsgal · August 2010

About 60% of our guests tied one more on than they should have, including the wedding party. I certainly didn't give them a memo to stay sober. We told the bartenders NO shots under any circumstance and cut people off if they are too drunk.

Actually, we took it as a compliment. We served good liquor and our guests appreciated every drop they drank.

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