NWR: Do I ask again?!

cpm1223 · March 2012

I am in kind of a weird/awkward situation here.

I baked cupcakes (which I do on the side for family/friends) for FI's cousin's graduation party. I was asked to do this by FI's aunt who said she would pay me for the cupcakes. I was excited because not only do I love to bake, but I was going to make a little $ too!

This party was Feb. 11th, I couldn't make it to the party but I sent the cupcakes up to the party with FI's Mom.

I emailed FI's aunt about a week after the party to let her know how much I wanted for making the cupcakes, she said "no problem I'll send a check in the mail this weekend!"

A month went by, and no check, so I emailed her again. I told her that I wanted to make sure that if she did send a check that it didn't get lost and that was the reasoning for my second email. She said that she had forgotten, and that she'd send it by the end of the week (this was 2 weeks ago) and I still have no check.

Should I send another email?? This is so annoying/awkward and I really just want my $40, which seems like a tiny amount of $, but I truly need it!

leopardgurl831 · March 2012

I'd probably just drop it and if someone from FIs family wants you to do that again maybe ask for the money up front or make them with the intentions you might not get paid. I just think another reminder probably won't be anymore affective and if anything she may tell other people that you keep bugging her. Maybe she didn't think she should be charged or something so she is choosing not to send it....who knows.

LOMLBOAT · March 2012

I agree with PP that I wouldn't send another email, but depending on your relationship with FI's mom you could talk to her about how to go about it, maybe she'll step in and talk to the aunt. Or maybe the next time you see the aunt you can say "how did everyone like the cupcakes? sorry I couldn't go!" and that way you aren't bringing up the money, but hopefully she has enough sense about her to bring it up and pay you right then.

GL!

cpm1223 · March 2012

Its weird because this is the second time that she's had me do the cupcakes for a party. The first time, she gave the check to FI's cousin, who is one of my BMs, right on the spot, to give to me....

My shower is in a week and a half, and I'm sure she'll be there and possibly "remember" that she owes me $ so I won't send another email now.

This is the last time I'll agree to make cupcakes for this woman!

Laurahan1127 · March 2012

I would make up an invoice and send it to her in the mail. It might seem a little more formal or awkward since this is someone you havea relationship with, but if she is paying you are are acting as a vendor anyway, so I think it is appropriate. Plus, it sound like she intends to pay you and just keeps forgetting... maybe something physical will be less likely to get lost and forgotten than an email that can disappear into a long list or read messages.

I had a family friend alter my dress, and I really appreciated that she gave me an itemized bill instead of just mentioning how much she wanted to be paid or emailing me or something. I didn't find it insulting or anything, and it made it easier to remember to take care of right away. I don't think you have done anything wrong, but if she keeps losing track of your emails, maybe sending her a bill in the mail will be more effective. You deserve your money!

deanabuonincontri · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_nwr-do-i-ask-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:050a24c4-71ed-4330-824d-bb97f834edcaPost:3a6a62b6-436c-436a-b17d-ec792d6e2c05">Re: NWR: Do I ask again?!</a>:
[QUOTE]I would make up an invoice and send it to her in the mail. It might seem a little more formal or awkward since this is someone you havea relationship with, but if she is paying you are are acting as a vendor anyway, so I think it is appropriate. Plus, it sound like she intends to pay you and just keeps forgetting... maybe something physical will be less likely to get lost and forgotten than an email that can disappear into a long list or read messages. I had a family friend alter my dress, and I really appreciated that she gave me an itemized bill instead of just mentioning how much she wanted to be paid or emailing me or something. I didn't find it insulting or anything, and it made it easier to remember to take care of right away. I don't think you have done anything wrong, but if she keeps losing track of your emails, maybe sending her a bill in the mail will be more effective. You deserve your money!
Posted by Laurahan1127[/QUOTE]

I do NOT recommend this! You know the woman best and your relationship with her, but honestly...this could cause a lot more problems, drama, and stress! Not worth it over $40. You've reminded her and hopefully she will come through. If not, just drop it and make sure to either get the $$ up front next time "for supplies" or don't make the cupcakes for her again. Not worth making yourself look greedy and tacky to your future husbands family (this will get around, I promise you!) for $40.

Laurahan1127 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_nwr-do-i-ask-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:050a24c4-71ed-4330-824d-bb97f834edcaPost:7294bb74-1aad-4ba0-a23e-c19323737e59">Re: NWR: Do I ask again?!</a>:
[QUOTE] do NOT recommend this! You know the woman best and your relationship with her, but honestly...this could cause a lot more problems, drama, and stress! Not worth it over $40. You've reminded her and hopefully she will come through. If not, just drop it and make sure to either get the $$ up front next time "for supplies" or don't make the cupcakes for her again. Not worth making yourself look greedy and tacky to your future husbands family (this will get around, I promise you!) for $40.
Posted by deanabuonincontri[/QUOTE]

This could be a good point. My FI's family is not close, so this wouldn't be someone he or I would have a close relationship with, and it would basically be a business transaction. Definitely don't do it if it would not be recieved well! I obviously don't know your family and was speaking from my own position. You are right that $40 is not worth the drama if this would cause it.

cpm1223 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_nwr-do-i-ask-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:050a24c4-71ed-4330-824d-bb97f834edcaPost:7294bb74-1aad-4ba0-a23e-c19323737e59">Re: NWR: Do I ask again?!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: NWR: Do I ask again?! : I do NOT recommend this! You know the woman best and your relationship with her, but honestly...this could cause a lot more problems, drama, and stress! Not worth it over $40. You've reminded her and hopefully she will come through. If not, just drop it and make sure to either get the $$ up front next time "for supplies" or don't make the cupcakes for her again. Not worth making yourself look greedy and tacky to your future husbands family (this will get around, I promise you!) for $40.
Posted by deanabuonincontri[/QUOTE]

I agree, thats not something I'd be interested in doing at all!

for the second bolded part, you're exactly right, it would get around the entire family and make me look like an idiot over 40 bucks!

I'm just going to let it be, and see if she mentions it at the shower, if not, then I'll just let it go and remember this incident if she ever asks me to make her cupcakes again!

mancila60 · March 2012

Have you talked to your FI about this? Maybe he would have a little advice since it is his family. I would not send them a bill and I would not mention it again. Just next time get the money up front.

cpm1223 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_nwr-do-i-ask-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:050a24c4-71ed-4330-824d-bb97f834edcaPost:d40b7d53-1398-4a36-95cb-6233dd8516e2">Re: NWR: Do I ask again?!</a>:
[QUOTE]Have you talked to your FI about this? Maybe he would have a little advice since it is his family. I would not send them a bill and I would not mention it again. Just next time get the money up front.
Posted by mancila60[/QUOTE]

Yes I have and I've talked to FMIL about it too and she's furious about it. But that being said, she'd never really start an argument about it, both FI and FMIL just told me to never agree to make this Aunt anything!

norweigan · March 2012

meh, i would ask again or ask my FI to ask again. She is the one that hasn't gotten your money to you, which is annoying, so they can't be mad at you for reminding them about it. I think it would be legitimately annoying only if you were the one asking for money to do them, but since she offered it, she should be upset that you are asking for it.
Maybe even say you will stop by to pick the check up or something. That might get her moving.

mandi921vh · March 2012

Ugh, I am so sorry! I would not forget about the money, she owes you money, told you she would pay you on more than one occasion. I would chat with your FI, maybe he can mention it to her...? Honestly, she seems like a forgetful person so maybe you couldn't do any harm in emailing her again asking for your money. She isn't going to think you are being rude by continuing to ask her for your money she owes you, she should feel rude she hsn't paid you yet.

Next time just get the money upfront.

AurorasEnvy · March 2012

Maybe she just figured she'd bring it to your shower since she'll be seeing you so soon.

NWR: Do I ask again?!

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