Wedding Gifts

Re: Wedding Gifts

• shannonalise

  

  June 2010

  I know this feels bad to you. But you just have to realize the following:
  
  a) Gifts are not mandatory. I know it is the polite thing to do, but they are not mandatory.
  
  b) There's nothing you can do to change/address the situation.
  
  You just have to try to remember these things. It's possible that preparing for/getting to your wedding was so financially draining that little was left for gifts. It's also possible that a gift or card could show up later. Remember that guests have up to a year to send a gift after the wedding.
  
  Try to remember the good memories from the day and the times you shared with them. Don't let their lack of a gift/card overshadow your understanding about how much you mean to them. In other words, if they didn't care about or condone your wedding, you'd probably have known about that well before the day, right? So if you had no clue, it's probably not a rational possibility. It must be something else.
  
  Just try to get past it. Ok?

  
  
  

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• shannonalise

  

  June 2010

  FWIW, we literally got two gifts from our registry, about 30% of our guests gave cards, and we really didn't get much of anything else. We also had a DW and our guests shelled out so much money to get there that we completely expected this.
  
  We didn't even get cards from a lot of our really close friends, but we didn't allow that to change what we know about how important we are to them.
  
  Just try to put it in perspective. Ok, I'm done now.

  
  
  

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• quotequeen member

  

  June 2010

  Some people think that the bridal party doesn't have to give a wedding gift because paying for everything associated with being in a wedding is enough - perhaps your MOH and BM felt that way.  I doubt that they didn't condone the wedding - why would they have agreed to be in it, if that were the case?
  
  I don't know about your FIL.  Did he pay for anything at all, like the rehearsal dinner, that he might have thought was a gift?  Is this unusual behavior for him?  Have you talked to your husband about it?

  Married 10/2/10

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• GeeGirl619 member

  

  June 2010

  Eh. Sometimes people are just cheap. It has nothing to do with how they feel toward you or anything else, they are just cheap!
  
  And if they are cheap...then they may feel that whatever they contributed was enough. Don't take it personally. Like pp said, if they didn't condone your wedding, they would not have attended or been a part of it.

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• jennifer0124 member

  

  July 2010

  I was in the bridal party for my brothers wedding and forgot about a card/gift until the day before.  I literally left the nail place to stop at CVS and get a card.  It could be that they were so busy they didn't even think of it with everything else they were trying to remember.

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• lrowe70

  

  July 2010

  I'm sooooo glad someone posted this.
  The exact same thing happened to me, except it's my BIL, who I've had problems with in the past, who gave no gift.
  Not a good way to start off the marriage and due to wedding stress I totally blew up at my husband over it. I really don't think my bil likes me and the gift snub was a last straw...but I'm trying to get over it.
  Thanks to the kind words, advice and suggestions in this thread I'm mre able to deal.
  
  It's true a gift is never required for anyone for any reason. Personally I'd be totally embarrassed to show up at someone's wedding(or any celebration in their honor) giftless. I do believe it means you don't support the marriage. But that's just me.

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