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Can you Believe This

tlmlne1tlmlne1 member
Third Anniversary First Comment
in Moms and Maids
Three days out from my daughter's wedding.  The future sister-n-law and mother-n-law want to make changes to the wedding to accomodate the grooms cake.  This cake was always scheduled to be delivered at the rehearsal never the reception.  They did not take the word NO the first two times I said it so they had the father-n-law try to make an end around on me.  I have planned and paid for every detail of this wedding to my daughter and future son in laws request without any assistance from his family.  SO I GET TO BE THE WITCH !
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Re: Can you Believe This

  • kmmssgkmmssg mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_can-believe-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:cacafbed-98c3-4b52-b3c7-9e5c9fabdddbPost:e45f8b19-7d8f-447c-bc35-738ec8a026dd">Can you Believe This</a>:
    [QUOTE]Three days out from my daughter's wedding.  The future sister-n-law and mother-n-law want to make changes to the wedding to accomodate the grooms cake.  This cake was always scheduled to be delivered at the rehearsal never the reception.  They did not take the word NO the first two times I said it so they had the father-n-law try to make an end around on me.  I have planned and paid for every detail of this wedding to my daughter and future son in laws request without any assistance from his family.  SO I GET TO BE THE WITCH !
    Posted by tlmlne1[/QUOTE]

    I'm a MOB and I'm not understanding why this is such a big problem.  Why can't it be a the wedding?
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  • Juris11Juris11
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Yeah, I don't get this either. Why can't they bring the groom's cake to the reception? Who cares? Unless they are trying to get you to change the time of the reception to make sure the cake is delivered on time. That would be bananas.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers Image and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPic *This is not legal advice*
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  • tlmlne1tlmlne1 member
    Third Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011

    It isn't for the groom, it is for the 30 year old sister.  To turn the wedding about her and all the work that she put into the cake. 

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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited December 2011
    I would seriously just let this go.  It is a cake for gosh sakes which after being photographed and ooh'd and ahh'd at for 30 minutes will be cut up and eaten.  I think at this point in time you just need to go with the flow.

    Oh and how does the bride (your daughter) feel about the cake being at the wedding instead of the RD?  If she doesn't care then neither should you.

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  • kmmssgkmmssg mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Is this really the hill you want to die on for this?  It's just a cake.
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Another MOB, here. How do your daughter and FSIL feel about it? It doesn't seem worth it to me to get into an argument about a cake.
                       
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  • zitiqueenzitiqueen member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_can-believe-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:cacafbed-98c3-4b52-b3c7-9e5c9fabdddbPost:c78cf130-46eb-45bc-93f2-a78af6c6ae06">Re: Can you Believe This</a>:
    [QUOTE]It isn't for the groom, it is for the 30 year old sister.  To turn the wedding about her and all the work that she put into the cake. 
    Posted by tlmlne1[/QUOTE]

    All this fuss over flour and water.

    Let it go.
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  • Juris11Juris11
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Well given the additional information....yeah still don't see the big deal. It's just cake.
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  • HandBananaHandBanana member
    Seventh Anniversary 500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Is it a red velvet armadillo cake complete with grey icing?
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  • mob2689mob2689
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Another MOB here, we had a wedding cake and all 5 (yes, FIVE ) grooms cakes at the reception and WE ,the brides parents, paid for everything for the wedding and reception. Be thankful they want to pay for it.
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  • ootmother2ootmother2 member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_can-believe-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:cacafbed-98c3-4b52-b3c7-9e5c9fabdddbPost:e45f8b19-7d8f-447c-bc35-738ec8a026dd">Can you Believe This</a>:
    [QUOTE]Three days out from my daughter's wedding.  The future sister-n-law and mother-n-law want to make changes to the wedding to accomodate the grooms cake.  This cake was always scheduled to be delivered at the rehearsal never the reception.  They did not take the word NO the first two times I said it so they had the father-n-law try to make an end around on me.  I have planned and paid for every detail of this wedding to my daughter and future son in laws request without any assistance from his family.  SO I GET TO BE THE WITCH !
    Posted by tlmlne1[/QUOTE]

    Oh FSS!  It's a cake.

    And it's not just your daughter's wedding.  It's her son's wedding as well.

    This has to be one of the most ridiculous posts I've ever seen on the knot.
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  • Matty143Matty143
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_can-believe-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:cacafbed-98c3-4b52-b3c7-9e5c9fabdddbPost:97b8d863-bba4-4295-b594-950ac1aa1f97">Re: Can you Believe This</a>:
    [QUOTE]Is it a red velvet armadillo cake complete with grey icing?
    Posted by HandBanana[/QUOTE]

    LOL! I was totally picturing this.
    Well done..
    image
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  • Matty143Matty143
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_can-believe-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:cacafbed-98c3-4b52-b3c7-9e5c9fabdddbPost:e45f8b19-7d8f-447c-bc35-738ec8a026dd">Can you Believe This</a>:
    [QUOTE]Three days out from my daughter's wedding.  The future sister-n-law and mother-n-law <u><strong>want to make changes to the wedding to accomodate the grooms cake.</strong></u>  This cake was always scheduled to be delivered at the rehearsal never the reception.  They did not take the word NO the first two times I said it so they had the father-n-law try to make an end around on me.  I have planned and paid for every detail of this wedding to my daughter and future son in laws request without any assistance from his family.  SO I GET TO BE THE WITCH !
    Posted by tlmlne1[/QUOTE]

    Exactly what kind of changes? Don't they just need another table for it??
    I agree with PPs though: its a cake, I would let this one go.
    image
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  • ViczaesarViczaesar member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    How can having more cake ever be a problem?

    But seriously, let it go.  This is not a big deal.  Nobody needs to be the witch.



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  • HandBananaHandBanana member
    Seventh Anniversary 500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_can-believe-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:cacafbed-98c3-4b52-b3c7-9e5c9fabdddbPost:f5bba4d4-3fed-4379-af7b-5f2283fd701d">Re: Can you Believe This</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Can you Believe This : LOL! I was totally picturing this. Well done..
    Posted by Matty143[/QUOTE]


    <a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/2/10/828cc2a6-f89f-44f3-aa31-d335d33365fa.large.jpg" title="Click to view a larger photo" onclick="return gSiteLife.LoadForumPage('ForumImage', 'plckPhotoId', '828cc2a6-f89f-44f3-aa31-d335d33365fa', 'plckRedirectUrl', gSiteLife.EscapeValue(window.location.href));" class="PhotoLink"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/2/10/828cc2a6-f89f-44f3-aa31-d335d33365fa.medium.jpg" alt="" /></a>
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  • AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_can-believe-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:cacafbed-98c3-4b52-b3c7-9e5c9fabdddbPost:bc7a80e5-c35a-4718-b927-f6d6a5d30bea">Re: Can you Believe This</a>:
    [QUOTE]How can having more cake ever be a problem?
    Posted by Viczaesar[/QUOTE]

    For reals.

    Also?  Is it so bad to honor other people at a wedding?  Without all the people and guests, a wedding would not be nearly as fun or, in many cases, even possible. 

    The one thing I learned while planning a wedding is to be gracious and grateful.  You sound spiteful and ridiculous.

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  • tldhtldh member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Unless this cake is a rendition of your FSIL's ex girlfriend totally naked except for some tassels and a g-string, I really don't see the problem here.
    image
    AKA GoodLuckBear14
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  • hvansadershvansaders
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I understand why you are upset, the FSIL is trying to steal some spotlight, BUT it is the bride and groom's day and they will be the focus.  The only people caring about the other cake is the FSIL and FMIL.  Other than that people are going to be focusing on the bride and groom, after all it is a wedding, not a cake competition. 

    I personally would let it go.  If you want to be a little bit of a crank, you could always have the reception hall cut it up and serve it.  Then there will be no more cake to worry about.
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  • Summer2011BrideSummer2011Bride member
    5000 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Just let it go. Regardless of who the cake is for, it's just a cake. This isn't a battle worth fighting.


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  • EBDGEBDG
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011

    Wow - I actually agree with the original  poster here. If she has paid for a cake for the wedding and it is what the bride wants then that should be the cake at the wedding reception.

     The grooms family gets to host the rehearsal dinner - if they want a cake it should be there.

    I don't think the MOB is out of line at all. there are certainly battles worth fighting and maybe this isn't one of them. But if you don't want the cake at the reception it doesn't need to be there. It is your party!

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  • AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_can-believe-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:cacafbed-98c3-4b52-b3c7-9e5c9fabdddbPost:86e4869f-61b9-43c5-943a-a65d7982af44">Re: Can you Believe This</a>:
    [QUOTE]Wow - I actually agree with the original  poster here. If she has paid for a cake for the wedding and it is what the bride wants then that should be the cake at the wedding reception.  The grooms family gets to host the rehearsal dinner - if they want a cake it should be there. I don't think the MOB is out of line at all. there are certainly battles worth fighting and maybe this isn't one of them. But if you don't want the cake at the reception it doesn't need to be there. It is your party!
    Posted by EBDG[/QUOTE]

    It's the groom's wedding, too.  Why do people forget that? 

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  • Muffin'sMomMuffin'sMom
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Do you seriously think it will take away from the bride and groom?  The ONLY it will become a big deal is if you MAKE it into one.  Your daughter will be related to these people for a REALLY long time.  Give it some serious thought before you decide to declare war over cake.
    My baby girl is a married woman...and now my baby girl HAS a baby girl. Time unfolds in such an amazing way. I've been blessed!
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  • covejackcovejack
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    It's. a. cake.
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  • joyfulhappy1joyfulhappy1
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm just wondering why they are so insistent that it be a the wedding reception, have you talked to them as to why they don't want it at the rehearsal dinner, what significance does it have for them? Have you seen the cake?
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  • zitiqueenzitiqueen member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_can-believe-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:cacafbed-98c3-4b52-b3c7-9e5c9fabdddbPost:174ac7df-cc43-4b88-bf45-51e0feb6c150">Re: Can you Believe This</a>:
    [QUOTE]Do you seriously think it will take away from the bride and groom?  The ONLY it will become a big deal is if you MAKE it into one.  Your daughter will be related to these people for a REALLY long time.  Give it some serious thought before you decide to declare war over cake.
    Posted by Muffin'sMom[/QUOTE]

    Something tells me the groom is an afterthought in this wedding.
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  • kmmssgkmmssg mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    I think you may be right on that, Ziti.  Today should be her Dd's wedding - I would hate to think the groom was lucky to be invited and his family treated like crap all in the name of control.
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  • AiobheannAiobheann member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Tell them to shove it and you are paying for the damn wedding so hell no. I am totally with you!! My family was worried about upsetting my ILs that my wedding was...not even close to what we wanted-and my ILs were horribly rude during the reception. Stand up for yourself and stand up for your daughter and SIL! If your daughter and SIL don't want it there-then don't have it.
    Anniversary
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