Second Marriage-Do I have a shower?

ljchip · August 2010

I will be getting married next summer, and it'll be my second time (first for my fiance). I feel strange because it's just three years after my divorce, but do I have a wedding shower? Obviously, I won't have the reception in the same place, or wear the same dress, but is it OK to have a shower? I don't want my fiance to miss out on all the "really fun" aspects of wedding enjoyment, but don't want to seem like I just want "more gifts" from my guests...

twilight.rose · August 2010

As long as you are following proper shower etiquette (ie. not hosting it yourself, only inviting those also invited to the wedding), I think it's fine if someone wants to host a shower for you.

Belle2Be · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_second-marriage-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:ff3d8026-9d12-450c-8a7d-422e3535c9f3Post:c28dde55-eb47-4734-98bb-74c1c692b2f3">Re: Second Marriage-Do I have a shower?</a>:
[QUOTE]As long as you are following proper shower etiquette (ie. not hosting it yourself, only inviting those also invited to the wedding), I think it's fine if someone wants to host a shower for you.
Posted by twilight.rose[/QUOTE]
This!

artbyallie · August 2010

My aunt is getting remarried after a divorce, and my mom is throwing her a shower. So... what they said!

Calumet · August 2010

Why would your FI be missing out if you don't have a shower?

I don't think you can't or anything... just curious on the logic there.

I probably wouldn't if I were in your position, but that's what I would do. There is no reason why you shouldn't if your friends and family want to have one for you.

trix1223 · August 2010

Frankly, I probably say no to a shower. You didn't say how long you were married, and that might have an impact for me.

I also don't understand the part about your FI missing out if there isn't a shower. Typically, showers are for the bride, so except for new appliances, I'm not sure what he'd be "missing".

I confess that I would find it gift grabby to be invited to a shower for a second wedding. Sorry

2dBride · August 2010

If someone offers to throw you a shower, you can graciously accept if you want to.

You may want to check out the Second Weddings board. There are a lot of us over there struggling with this sort of question.

LeahDVM2003 · August 2010

Since it's his first, I say go for it, but make sure it's co-ed. If it was a second for both of you, that'd be different.

staceytaylor0704 · August 2010

I am having at least two showers thrown for me, and this is my second marriage. I did not have a wedding or showers with my first marriage, and was married 5 years. When we divorced, I pretty much left everything I owned there. Its been 3 years since the divorce, and I don't see anything wrong with having showers. I don't feel like I'm being gift-grabby, and I don't think anyone else views it that way since they have approached me asking to have the showers.

Meagan78 · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_second-marriage-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:ff3d8026-9d12-450c-8a7d-422e3535c9f3Post:4bab4042-c2e9-4bd0-822f-bfe7d226b66c">Re: Second Marriage-Do I have a shower?</a>:
[QUOTE]I am having at least two showers thrown for me, and this is my second marriage. I did not have a wedding or showers with my first marriage, and was married 5 years. When we divorced, I pretty much left everything I owned there. Its been 3 years since the divorce, and I don't see anything wrong with having showers. I don't feel like I'm being gift-grabby, and I don't think anyone else views it that way since they have approached me asking to have the showers.
Posted by staceytaylor0704[/QUOTE]

Ditto for me. I say go for it.

Kidlet 26 · August 2010

I am also in the same boat and this is what I came up with...my aunt is throwing the shower and it's going to be co-ed. My fiance really, really wanted the shower (he's been super involved in all aspects of the planning). I decided that the people who are invited to this wedding that were also invited to the last wedding aren't going to be invited to the shower (I have spoken with several of these women and they totally understand where I'm coming from). If they choose to give a gift then they can at the wedding, but they are not put into the position of 'having' to get a gift because they were invited to the shower. The people that were invited to the shower are the people either on his side or those that didn't know me/us when I got married the first time. If you do want to invite those that attended the first shower, you might want to consider requesting only their presence at the shower and no gifts. That way they are honored with an invite without the expectation of bringing a gift. And you won't seem "gift-grabby".

Second Marriage-Do I have a shower?

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