We're NOT registering or asking for cash

GuebaraGirl · April 2012

My fiance and I have decided not to register for gifts as we really feel that we have the things we need, and we are well enough off that when we want something, we buy it. We're not expecting gifts or cash for our wedding, so my question is what is the best way to respond to people when they ask where we're registered? I've tried explaining that we're not registering and get blank stares in response. My thoughts were to simply not have the words "gift" or "registry" anywhere, but people don't seem to understand this concept. I'm not saying we wouldn't greatly appreciate any gift (cash or otherwise), we are simply not asking for anything and I'd like to make this clear. Any thoughts or opinions would be greatly appreciated! Thanks

LeiselEB · April 2012

Saying "we chose not to register anywhere" is fine, but I am sure you'll continue getting blank responses. Not because it's weird not to register, but because some people prefer to give gifts that they know you want ie registry gifts. Are you sure there's nothing you'd like to upgrade? Any home decor you want like pillows, throws, candle holders, photo frames, etc? These would be great guidelines for people who prefer to give physical gifts.

LeiselEB · April 2012

And also, the words gift or registry shouldn't be anywhere besides a shower invitation anyway. Since you aren't registering, you should turn down any offers for showers.

cpm1223 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_were-not-registering-or-asking-for-cash?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:235d78e6-c084-4a3c-84b0-bdce7a41ab2aPost:6a4f8834-a91e-4549-b212-06af68e9f16d">Re:We're NOT registering or asking for cash</a>:
[QUOTE]Saying "we chose not to register anywhere" is fine, but I am sure you'll continue getting blank responses. Not because it's weird not to register, but because some people prefer to give gifts that they know you want ie registry gifts. <strong>Are you sure there's nothing you'd like to upgrade? Any home decor you want like pillows, throws, candle holders, photo frames, etc? These would be great guidelines for people who prefer to give physical gifts.
</strong>Posted by LeiselEB[/QUOTE]

This!

If you could pick a handful of things that you already have that may need to be upgraded this is the time to do it! I love to bake, but some of my baking supplies were getting worn out so I added some muffin tins etc that I don't necessarily need, but I'd love to have new ones so I can get rid of the old ones!

Also what about bed sheets or table linens, I can never have enough of that type of stuff. Or new small kitchen appliances (i.e. food processor or keurig machine)

I think if you can create a small 15-20 item registry, it would be a good idea, so that your guests at least have the option to give you a physical gift. If you don't register or anything at all, you run the risk of getting a whole bunch of random "crap" that you don't want/can't return if someone wants to get you a physical gift and not cash.

cpm1223 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_were-not-registering-or-asking-for-cash?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:235d78e6-c084-4a3c-84b0-bdce7a41ab2aPost:1c8a2ec5-455e-4870-8093-6795071b1adb">Re:We're NOT registering or asking for cash</a>:
[QUOTE]And also, the words gift or registry shouldn't be anywhere besides a shower invitation anyway. <strong>Since you aren't registering, you should turn down any offers for showers.
</strong>Posted by LeiselEB[/QUOTE]

and this too!!!

jagore08 · April 2012

"Thank you for asking but we really have everything we need. Your presence at our wedding is a perfect gift for us. We can't wait to see you there!"

Summer2011Bride · April 2012

I agree with registering for either upgrades or maybe some "different" type of items. Do you enjoy camping? You could register for camping equipment. We like biking so we registered for a tire pump. We also registered for a few board games since we like having game nights with friends. These aren't "traditional" items but still acceptable to register for, since it's for the couple and your married life. Or like others said, upgrades to sheets, towels, a splurge item like a Keurig or something that you wouldn't buy yourself, etc.

It's fine to not register but then you risk people giving you really weird things you'll never use and might not be able to return. This at least gives those guests a road map to follow.

Jupiter5612 · April 2012

We are having a destination wedding in FL and we would prefer to not recieve gifts. We have a wedding website here and for our "Our Registries" page we say "We would love to have you join us in Florida to celebrate our marriage and we consider this your gift to us. "

ChiGirl2013 · April 2012

If they want to get you a gift, they're going to get you one whether you give them ideas or not. My suggestion is to come up with a small registry anyway, unless you want to end up with 200 engraved picture frames from Things Remembered. Yes, you have the money to buy what you need, but that doesn't mean people can't give you gifts. Accepting a wedding gift doesn't mean that you're too poor to buy your own things - it just means that people are happy for you and want to give you something to remember your special day.

If you are dead set against gifts or money, you can always say something like "We can't think of a single thing we need, but if you really want to commemorate the day, just make a donation to your favorite charity in our name."

futuremrsbruno · April 2012

We ran into this situation when we had an engagement party after announcing our engagement last year. We decided to throw a party as a chance for our families to get to know each other. We both come from large, close-knit families and knew getting them together would be hard, so we decided to arrange for them to meet. Both sides wanted to celebrate our engagement, so we thought instead of going out every weekend for a couple of months, we would just have one big night. We paid for and hosted the entire event and the invite list was family only. Our families asked us about gifts and we very clearly told them we did not want anyone to get or give us anything, just show up and celebrate with us. On the night of the party, we got about 10 or so cards with cash in them.

What I'm trying to get at is when there is a celebration like a wedding or a baby, people expect to give a gift. Giving gifts isn't mandatory, but most people don't feel right unless they give the couple something. If you honestly do not want anything, make it as clear as possible, but don't be shocked if you get things anyway. We felt bad that our family still gave us money even after repeatedly telling them not to. At the end of the day, they are going to do what makes them happy, even if it goes against your wishes. If that's the case, smile, say thank you, and just have a good time. They wouldn't do it if they didn't want to.

We're NOT registering or asking for cash

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