Call me what you will.....

samkephart · September 2010

Okay, I've posted on this before and got totally blasted out. Thats cool i asked for opinions and got what i needed. feel free to bomb me on this too, if you feel its needed I understand.

this really was a tough choice to make, but things with my friend an I have been way off since I asked her to be a BM. I mean to the point where she avoids me and wont speak to me at all including texts and (as stupid as it may sound, but it's a digital world) she deletes anything i send on face book even comments.

the sad thing is I have decided to un-invite her as one of my BMs. and really need some sound advice on how to go about this. I know it must be in person and neutral comfortable but I need tips on what to say. please help.

kimp67 · September 2010

What I would do is call her & ask her why she's "avoiding" you. Then ask her if she still wants to be a part of your wedding. If she doesn't answer her phone, leave a message on her vm telling her you feel like she's avoiding you & you would like to know if she still plans on being a bm.

Butter Cookie · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_call-will?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:01da56dc-0dc5-4b61-8976-77417ce42bdaPost:1237b2cd-95cf-4c39-87a2-5d037623ec8e">Call me what you will.....</a>:
[QUOTE]Okay, I've posted on this before and got totally blasted out. Thats cool i asked for opinions and got what i needed. feel free to bomb me on this too, if you feel its needed I understand. this really was a tough choice to make, but things with my friend an I have been way off since I asked her to be a BM. I mean to the point where she avoids me and wont speak to me at all including texts and (as stupid as it may sound, but it's a digital world) she deletes anything i send on face book even comments. the sad thing is I have decided to un-invite her as one of my BMs. and really need some sound advice on how to go about this. I know it must be in person and neutral comfortable but I need tips on what to say. please help.
Posted by samkephart[/QUOTE]

If you're doing this you need to be prepared to consider her someone you're no longer friends with, because that's most likely to happen (though in this instance it sounds like she's already made that choice.)

I would be straight with her. "I jumped the gun and made you a bridesmaid, because we have always been good friends, but I see you have decided not to be friends with me any more and I think it's best if we officially call the bridesmaid thing and friendship off. Here's your scrunchie back"

arbolita · September 2010

It sounds like there is some sort of drama either going on in her life, or between the two of you that you don't know about. Honestly, because counting her out as a BM, first I would make a strong effort to find out what the issue might be. Like BC said, telling her she's no longer a BM is a pretty good way to guarentee that the friendship will be over as well, but it does seem like she's already started leaning in that direction by her actions (or lack of them).