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Wedding Gown Second Guessing

arv266arv266
First Comment
in Second Weddings
The dress is bought and paid for...I dreamed about what it would look like on me,  and I loved it when I was in it... and my kids loved it, loved it, loved it when they saw me in it...  So WHY am I second guessing myself? The one photo I have in my dress really isnt all that great, but of course I am fixating on that on!  I read of the brides that gush about their dresses... and right now I am anything but gushing... Has anyone else felt this? Does it go away? 
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Re: Wedding Gown Second Guessing

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    Marrin713Marrin713 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    I was watching Say Yes to the Dress last night and apparently second thoughts are very common esp since months pass betw the time the dress is chosen and the first fitting.  Some of the brides can't believe its the same dress they chose.

    I am on my second dress.  I took the first one back to Nordstrom's.  I really liked it so I bought it.  T said he liked it but when I decided to go another route with a dress, he admitted that he felt the original was too fancy.  And I had to agree with him.  The wedding we have planned is casual - - - not jeans and T-shirts by any means, but the original dress would have looked out of place.
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    scoop69scoop69
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I've been looking for a while and had picked a dress, then our plans changed. I went back to looking fresh and ended up deciding on the exact same dress from a website of 800 choices. And I didn't even realize I was on the same site until I found that dress., By then I had a dozen on my wish list.

    I say all that to say that maybe a similar approach might help. Go through a dress site (I like inweddingdress.com), make a wish list, and see if you end up picking the same type of dress.

    Of course, if you don't, then that might cause more issues.....
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    Sue-n-KevinSue-n-Kevin member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I bought a dress at a sample sale nearly 2 years ago after getting engaged. It was flattering, I liked the look, and it was reasonably priced.

    THEN, a month or so later, I was at Joann's and they had fabulous dipioni silk with pearls sewn on it every 4 inches or so, and when the "measurer" priced it for me, it was $5 a yard (marked down from $20 a yard). So of course, since I've sewn for over 40 years, I had to get the entire bolt of 8+ yards for $40 ! I found 2 patterns I could mix together to get the dress I loved from Alfred Angelo, and have since found a 3rd pattern to add to the mix. I had a remnant of alencon lace with pearls & sequins from an earlier purchase that will fit to make me a bolero. Sadly my only daughter, at 15, is already 4 inches taller and 30 lbs heavier than I am, but if it never gets worn again, it's ok with me. Maybe I'll have petite granddaughters, or my son will marry a petite gal.

    Long story short, my decision became making a dress for the ceremony, that is elegant, gorgeous, something that will be my "crowning achievement" as a sometimes seamstress, and I'm having the sample dress altered nearer the wedding into a tea length "party dress" for the reception.

    If your kids LOVE you in this dress you already have, and you feel great in it, your qualms might just be the photo. If you have enough time, and enough money, then keep looking. You can always have 2 dresses (if you have daughters, or step daughters, or soon to be married males, dresses are never a waste), or stick with the one that everyone loves.

    The good news about second weddings is that there are no rules, and you can always change your mind. But you also understand the importance of the MARRIAGE and the wedding stuff, while important, is really just a celebration and party. It doesn't define us.

    Good luck.
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    arv266arv266
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Ladies.... THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!    Reading your post made all the difference this morning!!!!    I am going to follow every great piece of advice given!!!!!
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    Sweetz9422Sweetz9422
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    edited December 2011
    I have been doing the same thing and I think part of it is naturally a bride second-guessing her decisions, but I think part of it is also wanting to make sire everything is perfect with my second wedding and things being better this time around. Although I am having a small wedding I still have this need to make things better than my first, and his. 
    There is a reason you picked that dress, and everyone around u loved it. Whenever I second guess I try it on and remember why I picked it.
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    Marrin713Marrin713 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Sue - you're making your own?  Hell's bells woman - that's awesome!  I can't even hem.

    ETA:  but I CAN hem and haw ;)
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    Sue-n-KevinSue-n-Kevin member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    edited December 2011
    LOL Marrin! I learned to sew from my Mom initially, making clothes for my Barbie doll on her sewing machine. I then took sewing classes for 2 years in high school.
    I made my prom dress and other clothes in HS, even jeans. When my daughter was younger I made us a few matching mother & daughter dresses. Most of my sewing recently has been simple things like throw pillow covers to match my new living room last year.

    The Alfred Angelo dress I'm going to mimic is in my knottie bio look book. I'm not doing the upsweep on the side, nor the fabric flowers. It will be more A-line and without the train. I may make a detachable train though.

    I was actually supposed to get married back in 1977, but that engagement fell through. I still to this day have the dress I made, which is now a bit yellowed. Of course it does not FIT anymore, LOL. It had a lot of beaded alencon lace inserts in the skirt and sleeves.

    The only thing intimidating me about this is how soon to the wedding to start the dress. My weight is usually pretty consistent, but of course I want to be a bit slimmer (don't we all?). Patterns today come with multiple cut lines and each pattern usually fits 3 or more sizes, so I'm ok with having the patterns already. I also have a friend who made her daughter's wedding dress, and is a more exacting and patient seamstress than I am. I may engage her assistance when it's time. Smile
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    thealphabridethealphabride
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Sue, it's fabulous that you are making your own gown. The wedding gown industry is such a racket. I know the gown I fell in love with was marked up 300%, that is why I looked for someone to make it for me at a reasonable price.

    To the original poster I think we all second guess our wedding dress. I just stopped looking altogether after I made my decision, because I KNEW I would start to second guess my decision so I banned myself from looking at dresses and just look at the one I chose and the pics I have of myself in it.
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    Lisa50Lisa50 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Sue ...

    You have inspired me to begin looking for fabric and patterns.  I began sewing about 40 years ago as well.  15 years ago, I made the switch to quilting.  However, I think it is now time to go back to making clothing.  It will be my best chance at getting my "dream dress"  -- make it myself.  And, if I get scared, I'm sure I can find a seamstress here in DC to finish it for me.  :)

    Thank you, thank you!!!
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    Marrin713Marrin713 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    My cousin is an expert seamstress.  I don't know if she's ever sewn a wedding gown but she used to do alterations of gowns as a living.  She still does it on the side.  I'm just amazed by sewing talent.
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    Lisa50Lisa50 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    arv --

    I don't know if it gets better.  When I married the first time, I had someone make my dress.  And now, with Sue's inspiration, I might try making my dress this time around (although proudly reserving the option to find someone to make it ... LOL!).

    Best of luck!
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    LornadoodleLornadoodle
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Sue - I"d suggest that you make a muslin pattern and fit to you (or have a trusted friend help) before you cut into that gorgeous fabric.... but I bet you already knew that!  I am a professional seamstress and have found that with most people, their weight does change a bit up or down before the wedding!

    When I announced our engagement, everyone had 2 questions :  Will it be a Civil War reenactment wedding (NO! - we love our hobby but no, our wedding will be modern!) and will you make your dress.  The answer to the 2nd question probably brought  more surprise to people than the first.. but while I sew full time professionally for others (and obviously LOVE it!), I have no desire to sew my dress this time around.  I won't even do my own alterations this time!

    :-) Lorna
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