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Pregnant Bridesmaid

aejaklevicaejaklevic
in Wedding Party
I just found out one of my very good friends and bridesmaid is pregnant and her due date is just 6 days after my wedding! This makes me nervous that she will go into labor before my wedding and that she may not feel comfortable in a dress.  Should I just ask her if she would still like to be in my wedding.  Also, how do I go about asking another friend to be a bridesmaid that wasn't oringally chosen?
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Re: Pregnant Bridesmaid

  • jagore08jagore08 member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_pregnant-bridesmaid-19?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:cdfea9d1-3b67-4efd-9caa-fa1d5f3b605aPost:857ace46-a2de-42a6-a372-e3e7d7aa1e04">Pregnant Bridesmaid</a>:
    [QUOTE]I just found out one of my very good friends and bridesmaid is pregnant and her due date is just 6 days after my wedding! This makes me nervous that she will go into labor before my wedding and that she may not feel comfortable in a dress.  Should I just ask her if she would still like to be in my wedding.  Also, how do I go about asking another friend to be a bridesmaid that wasn't oringally chosen?
    Posted by aejaklevic[/QUOTE]
    I agree with Stage.  There's no need to ask her if she still wants to be in the wedding, if she doesn't she should tell you.
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  • Summer2011BrideSummer2011Bride member
    5000 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Don't say anything to her about being in or not being in the wedding. If she wants to still be in it, she will be. If SHE comes to you and says she wants out, that's fine. But absolutely do not replace her. That will hurt her feelings, as you're telling her she is easily replaceable, but it will also bother the "replacement." It's letting her know she was only good enough to be asked when someone else dropped out.


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  • mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    If she wants to drop out, she'll tell you. It's nice of you to be concerned for her well-being, but it's insulting to make that decision (or imply it) on her behalf. Even if you don't intend it this way, it'll come across as you saying, "Well, pregnancy has made you too stupid to know what's best for you, so I'm deciding on your behalf that you can't do this."

    You never replace someone, no matter what the circumstances. It's insulting to both the person you replaced (because you're telling them that they're replaceable) and the person you choose as the replacement (because you're telling them that they're only good enough to be in your wedding as a second choice because you think you need even sides).

    Really, just go with the flow. Even if she drops out five minutes before she's walking down the aisle, I promise you that it will not be a big deal. Just wait and see what happens.
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  • Robyn5298Robyn5298 member
    Knottie Warrior 100 Comments Combo Breaker Name Dropper
    I agree with other posters, don't replace her.  When I was planning my wedding I had a bridesmaid back out and I'll admit, I had a little "OMG I CAN'T HAVE UNEVEN SIDES" breakdown.  But then I thought about it and realized that A) Many bridal parties are uneven these days, and B) Nobody but me would think twice about seeing more guys than girls in the party.  For the record I got married with uneven sides, and my wedding was beautiful. One of my big concerns was the photos, and the photographers were able to arrange people in such a way that it didn't look like there was an obvious imbalance of males to females.

    I think it would be nice if you took your friend out to lunch and had a talk with her.  Tell her how much she means to you and how happy you are for her pregnancy.  Let her know that you still want her to be a part of your wedding, but that you will understand if she needs to back out even if its at the very last minute.  As for the dress, tell her you want her to feel comfortable and beautiful even if she is in a different dress than your other bridesmaids.  You could even offer to let her choose an off the rack dress in a coordinating color that she'll feel pretty in.  And lastly if she decides to participate in the ceremony, offer to provide her with a chair so she'll be more comforable.

    Your friendship is paramount here.  Try your best to preserve that, and don't let all the wedding "stuff" get in the way.

    Good luck!
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  • kmmssgkmmssg mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    She will be  your BM whether she is there or not.  If she is there, great!  Bend over backwards to make her comfortable, including a chair if she wants one during the ceremony.

    If she isn't there, you send her the BM bouquet and mention in your program that your BM was unable to be with you today because she is having her baby.  If you have a religious ceremony you can ask your officient to mention her and the baby in a prayer or blessing.

    There are no problems here.  You don't say a word to her, and whatever you do, don't ask anyone to take her place if she drops out or can't be there.
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  • stantokmstantokm member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary

    After my best friend picked out her bridesmaids, one got pregnant and would have been 8 months pregnant (and with a history of terrible back problems) at the wedding, so she stepped down.  My friend replaced her with another friend.  Then the first girl miscarried a month or so after that.

    Luckily, the first girl didn't ask to be back in the wedding party, but the bride didn't have the option anymore since the spot was "filled."  She never considered uneven sides, but honestly neither of us had ever even HEARD of uneven sides at that point.

    Also, I understand wanting even sides--I want it myself and if everyone we ask agrees to be in the wedding, it'll be even. But WHO is standing up at the altar should be more important than symmetry.

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  • caroledwinecaroledwine member
    First Comment
    I don't think I'd be offended if I was replaced because my pregnancy prevented me from being a bridesmaid.  The wedding isn't about the friends and their babies: it's about you.  A good friend should understand that and not allow you be to be guilted out of doing something that's in your best interest.

    Every situation is different and you shouldn't let others dictate your decisions and make you question your judgment.  


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  • kevinthkevinth
    100 Comments Second Anniversary
    I think, It is better to ask whether available for the wedding event or not. If she is available, there are pregnant bridesmaid dress are available. Purchase that pregnant bridesmaid dress by choosing the suitable one. 
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  • misssunshine17misssunshine17 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    kevinth said:
    I think, It is better to ask whether available for the wedding event or not. If she is available, there are pregnant bridesmaid dress are available. Purchase that pregnant bridesmaid dress by choosing the suitable one. 
    @kevinth

    Honey, this thread was a year old, so the baby is born and this is a non-issue anymore. Check the dates before you post. People get super irritated about zombie threads coming up. 
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