how to deal with a future brother in law who wants to get married the week after

sonjakyer · October 2012

my future brother in law just got engaged a couple weeks ago and wants to have his wedding a week after mine so that family from across the country will be around and can attend I have been engaged for over a year and my wedding is only a few months away how do i deal with this

lls31 · October 2012

You let him get married the week after. You get one day for your wedding. His wedding will not interfere with yours.

cwaggoner07 · October 2012

At least he's not doing it further from your wedding to where your OOT family would have to CHOOSE which wedding to go to because that would really irritate you.
I think it's great that he's trying to help the family out.

Jlp818 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_how-to-deal-with-a-future-brother-in-law-who-wants-to-get-married-the-week-after?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:73fcb09c-d2e8-4c1f-97ef-324e4c76bb2fPost:51fb603b-588d-40a2-aec6-6e37b1777620">how to deal with a future brother in law who wants to get married the week after</a>:
[QUOTE]my future brother in law just got engaged a couple weeks ago and wants to have his wedding a week after mine so that family from across the country will be around and can attend I have been engaged for over a year and my wedding is only a few months away how do i deal with this
Posted by sonjakyer[/QUOTE]

You deal with it by congratulating him and his FI! It really won't affect you in any way (unless you and your H have already booked your honeymoon and will be away.)

GoodLuckBear14 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_how-to-deal-with-a-future-brother-in-law-who-wants-to-get-married-the-week-after?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:73fcb09c-d2e8-4c1f-97ef-324e4c76bb2fPost:d1b48415-40c8-4adb-99f5-0cb8703b1b42">Re: how to deal with a future brother in law who wants to get married the week after</a>:
[QUOTE]At least he's not doing it further from your wedding to where your OOT family would have to CHOOSE which wedding to go to because that would really irritate you. I think it's great that he's trying to help the family out.
Posted by cwaggoner07[/QUOTE]

I think they might have to choose. DH and I get "x" number of days we can take off from work and like to take a vacation for ourselves at least once a year. We will make weekend trips out of town and even take weekends to visit my family in Cincinnati. If the wedding were in California with DH's family we may decide to take a week's vacation there. If it were in Cincinnati, we would either choose a wedding or decline both.

OP - no matter which way your guests decide, there is nothing you can do except be gracious.

samantha24p · October 2012

I don't think this is a problem. As PPs have stated you get 1 day. His wedding a week after yours won't affect your day.

brittany634 · October 2012

What is there to "deal" with your day is YOUR day and THEIR day is THEIR day. You don't get a week or month or year, just one day. be happy for them. Just like they are for you.

courtski2004 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_how-to-deal-with-a-future-brother-in-law-who-wants-to-get-married-the-week-after?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:73fcb09c-d2e8-4c1f-97ef-324e4c76bb2fPost:51fb603b-588d-40a2-aec6-6e37b1777620">how to deal with a future brother in law who wants to get married the week after</a>:
[QUOTE]my future brother in law just got engaged a couple weeks ago and wants to have his wedding a week after mine so that family from across the country will be around and can attend I have been engaged for over a year and <strong>my wedding is only a few months away</strong> how do i deal with this
Posted by sonjakyer[/QUOTE]

According to your planner, it says your wedding day is 8/13/13. Has this changed? If so, then any shared guests that you have will just need to make a decision as to which event they attend. I am guessing that this is your FI's brother, is that correct? How does HE feel about this since it is HIS family?

Furthermore, you say that he WANTS to have his wedding the week after yours. Unless they have secured a venue, then nothing is final and you've freaked out over nothing.

Just go with the flow. Let go of what you cannot control and congratulate them on their engagement!

sonya+adam · October 2012

I agree with PPs, you need to be gracious about this. He isn't saying that he's intending on having a double wedding with you and your FI, so it doesn't interfere with your wedding at all. Hopefully it won't interfere with your honeymoon and you can make the wedding. He knows when you're getting married, so he knows he's running the risk of you being on your honeymoon.

If anything, I might let him know when you'll be on your honeymoon, if it will run through the dat of his wedding, but do so in a polite manner.

lyndausvi · October 2012

Well, that would NOT fly in my family.

Not because we are princesses or anything, but parents tend to contribute a lot to weddings and THEY would have a huge problem with those arrangements. Honestly, they would tell the second wedding if they want money, they have to pick a different date.

Is there anyway that your future in-laws might talk him out of it?

If not, there isn't anything you can do, but be supportive. You would skip the wedding to be on your HM, but I don't think I would be able to do such a thing. Then again it's not a situations I would ever encounter anyway.

cwaggoner07 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_how-to-deal-with-a-future-brother-in-law-who-wants-to-get-married-the-week-after?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:73fcb09c-d2e8-4c1f-97ef-324e4c76bb2fPost:f376e03a-dcc7-4185-acf3-2de653fc7376">Re: how to deal with a future brother in law who wants to get married the week after</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: how to deal with a future brother in law who wants to get married the week after : I think they might have to choose. DH and I get "x" number of days we can take off from work and like to take a vacation for ourselves at least once a year. We will make weekend trips out of town and even take weekends to visit my family in Cincinnati. If the wedding were in California with DH's family we may decide to take a week's vacation there. If it were in Cincinnati, we would either choose a wedding or decline both. OP - no matter which way your guests decide, there is nothing you can do except be gracious.
Posted by GoodLuckBear14[/QUOTE]

That's a good point... I was just going off of OP's point that his whole reasoning for doing it was so that more family could attend.

But yeah, bottom line, there's nothing you can/should do.

halij52002 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_how-to-deal-with-a-future-brother-in-law-who-wants-to-get-married-the-week-after?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:73fcb09c-d2e8-4c1f-97ef-324e4c76bb2fPost:d1b48415-40c8-4adb-99f5-0cb8703b1b42">Re: how to deal with a future brother in law who wants to get married the week after</a>:
[QUOTE]At least he's not doing it further from your wedding to where your OOT family would have to CHOOSE which wedding to go to because that would really irritate you. I think it's great that he's trying to help the family out.
Posted by cwaggoner07[/QUOTE]
Yes! this happened to me unfortunatly. Until my FBIL & his whatever she is had relationship issues and post poned the wedding.

drandreasalazar · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_how-to-deal-with-a-future-brother-in-law-who-wants-to-get-married-the-week-after?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:73fcb09c-d2e8-4c1f-97ef-324e4c76bb2fPost:51fb603b-588d-40a2-aec6-6e37b1777620">how to deal with a future brother in law who wants to get married the week after</a>:
[QUOTE]my future brother in law just got engaged a couple weeks ago and wants to have his wedding a week after mine so that family from across the country will be around and can attend I have been engaged for over a year and my wedding is only a few months away how do i deal with this
Posted by sonjakyer[/QUOTE]
let him do it. its not like hes trying to do it before

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