New Jersey

How much is your wedding costing? POLL!

I was lurking on my wedding month board and someone had posted a poll about wedding budgets.. many girls said their wedding was costing under $10,000 and someone commented her food was $7.95 a plate.. while it is an international board and I expect differences in price, I still found this pretty surprising. All of the weddings I've ever attended in New Jersey have always cost much more than that.

So if you don't mind sharing, I'm curious to know how much your entire wedding is costing, including your honeymoon?
Are you paying for the entire thing yourselves, or getting help from parents/family?
Do you think the cost of your wedding is comparable to other weddings you've attended?

I will comment below.

Re: How much is your wedding costing? POLL!

  • NJgurl19NJgurl19 member
    500 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Wow I guess I need to move... LOL
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  • edited December 2011
    You may want to bump up the 20k threshold. lol  New Jersey can be a cruel place. I'll be over 20k just for the reception and I'll have under 200 at the wedding.

    $7.95 a plate gets you a kick ass meal at Mickey D's.
  • uppereastgirluppereastgirl member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I would probably add higher categories  -- the average NJ wedding costs more than $20,000.
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  • edited December 2011
    One girl on my board was saying that her reception venue (food included) was costing $3000 and saying that was high.

    I seriously considered moving to the south for my wedding!
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  • cindyn9178cindyn9178 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Our reception venue (obviously including food), etc, is $85 per person plux tax and gratuity. We are expecting about 150 people.. so that's about $16 to $17k right there. My parents generously offered to pay that entire amount.
    FILs generously offered to give us $5 to $6k which will cover the DJ, Limo, Flowers and Photographer.
    The rest will be paid for by us, which includes My gown, accessories, Hair & makeup, rings, tux, bridal party gifts, invitations, favors, church fees, honeymoon and all of the other little details, which adds up to about $7000 to $8000 that we are paying our selves.. All together, right around $30k.

    I think this is pretty comparable to other weddings that I've attended, if not less than what those weddings cost.. while having the wedding that we want, with all the bells and whistles, we really tried to shop around for the best bang for our buck.
  • cindyn9178cindyn9178 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_much-wedding-costing-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:0aa320c3-f074-47dd-90c2-4a2b9454431ePost:2ede8d4c-4fd3-46b7-b745-e805f6efdd83">Re: How much is your wedding costing? POLL!</a>:
    [QUOTE]You may want to bump up the 20k threshold. lol  New Jersey can be a cruel place. I'll be over 20k just for the reception and I'll have under 200 at the wedding. $7.95 a plate gets you a kick ass meal at Mickey D's.
    Posted by Pharo47[/QUOTE]

    haha I was going to add more, but the stupid Knot wasn't letting me post the poll with more choices than that..
  • edited December 2011
    Personally I think most of the NJ wedddings will fall in high 20s (based on a lower head count), 35k plus for medium headcount (around 150-175), to 50k plus for (200 headcount and higher).

    Just feeding and providing alchol for 250 people costs an arm and a leg even if you don't go to an expensive place. $80 per person after tip and tax (very difficult to find high quality for that price) would cost $20k for 250 people and you still don't have pictures, dress, DJ etc.
  • cindyn9178cindyn9178 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    You should really check this out. It is crazy to me that under $10k had the highest number of votes!
    http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2011-weddings_budget

    I know prices vary based on location, but is New Jersey really THAT much more expensive? It seems that many other states don't have the all-in-one type reception venues that we have (or at least the people don't use them), so they supply their own catering, chairs, linens, etc. In NJ, somewhere like the Knights of Columbus comes to mind when I think of something like that.. and never been to a wedding at one of those! (sorry, don't mean to sound harsh).

    Also, it seems it is not out of the norm in other states to not serve alcohol at the wedding, or have a cash bar, so I guess that affects price.
    Someone in that thread said she is inviting 320 guests and their budget is $5k and they don't have to skimp on anything.

    There was another thread about catering, and someone said their per person price was $13, and someone else is paying $9.50 a plate for a multiple choice buffet!
    I don't even think you can get a 6 foot sub and some chips for that cheap per person!! It is just so hard for me to imagine this... I didn't comment in that budget thread because I didn't want to look like some crazy person spending so much money on their wedding...but glad to see its not out of the norm here. Makes me feel better :)
  • mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Don't forget that in a lot of other states, cocktail hour (if they even have one) is like two or three appetizers, and then dinner is something like roast beef. Oftentimes there isn't an open bar, and if there is sometimes it's just beer and wine and maybe a few types of liquor. And the wedding cake is the only dessert.
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  • cindyn9178cindyn9178 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_much-wedding-costing-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:0aa320c3-f074-47dd-90c2-4a2b9454431ePost:a035de29-1783-4ab3-bbf4-b4a336a6127b">Re: How much is your wedding costing? POLL!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Don't forget that in a lot of other states, cocktail hour (if they even have one) is like two or three appetizers, and then dinner is something like roast beef. Oftentimes there isn't an open bar, and if there is sometimes it's just beer and wine and maybe a few types of liquor. And the wedding cake is the only dessert.
    Posted by mbcdefg[/QUOTE]

    Yeah, I've seen girls post their menus and thought they sounded like less food than we have at our house on a holiday..but is that the norm, and what is offered in those states, or is that just what people are choosing? Are there places like we have here in New Jersey that offer a cocktail hour with tons of food, 3 choices of entrees at dinner, etc? Or do they just not exist in some other states?
    I can understand if you are having a backyard wedding at someone's house..but I can't imagine that being the only food, if it is being held at a reception hall...
  • uppereastgirluppereastgirl member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_much-wedding-costing-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:0aa320c3-f074-47dd-90c2-4a2b9454431ePost:741ad0fa-9f46-4ac2-a4d9-dedcb11d9f15">Re: How much is your wedding costing? POLL!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: How much is your wedding costing? POLL! : Yeah, I've seen girls post their menus and thought they sounded like less food than we have at our house on a holiday..but is that the norm, and what is offered in those states, or is that just what people are choosing? Are there places like we have here in New Jersey that offer a cocktail hour with tons of food, 3 choices of entrees at dinner, etc? Or do they just not exist in some other states? I can understand if you are having a backyard wedding at someone's house..but I can't imagine that being the only food, if it is being held at a reception hall...
    Posted by cindyn9178[/QUOTE]

    Backyard weddings, receptions in churches or at fire halls etc. are much more common in other areas of the country than they are here.

    I've been to weddings in other states (at resorts, country clubs, restaurants,  etc. -- never at a reception hall like you see up here).  For the most part cocktail hour was much simpler -- cheese and crackers and charcuterie and crudite, and maybe a raw bar, and a few passed hors d'ouerves.   But dinner has been either a buffet or a plated dinner, like you'd see here.  Dessert was basically just wedding cake and maybe a groom's cake.  (Note: these were definitely not sub-$20,000 weddings).   It isn't like you can't have a full meal at a wedding in another part of the country.  And to be honest, I've liked those weddings a lot.  I don't like feeling like I need to gorge myself at an overblown cocktail hour because the meal is going to be mediocre.  And I think the huge cocktail hours and huge Viennese displays around here can tend to be kind of showy rather than elegant.  I think there are benefits and disadvantages to both types of wedding.
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  • cindyn9178cindyn9178 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_much-wedding-costing-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:0aa320c3-f074-47dd-90c2-4a2b9454431ePost:66511392-79a8-4f79-9248-eb1e74cd2048">Re: How much is your wedding costing? POLL!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: How much is your wedding costing? POLL! : Backyard weddings, receptions in churches or at fire halls etc. are much more common in other areas of the country than they are here. I've been to weddings in other states (at resorts, country clubs, restaurants,  etc. -- never at a reception hall like you see up here).  For the most part cocktail hour was much simpler -- cheese and crackers and charcuterie and crudite, and maybe a raw bar, and a few passed hors d'ouerves.   But dinner has been either a buffet or a plated dinner, like you'd see here.  Dessert was basically just wedding cake and maybe a groom's cake.  (Note: these were definitely not sub-$20,000 weddings).   It isn't like you can't have a full meal at a wedding in another part of the country.  And to be honest, I've liked those weddings a lot.  I don't like feeling like I need to gorge myself at an overblown cocktail hour because the meal is going to be mediocre.  And I think the huge cocktail hours and huge Viennese displays around here can tend to be kind of showy rather than elegant.  I think there are benefits and disadvantages to both types of wedding.
    Posted by uppereastgirl[/QUOTE]
    I totally get what you're saying....It sounds like the difference really isn't price.. because we're not getting the same kinds of things/having the same kind of wedding.. as people in some other states... if they were getting everything we are getting and only paying $13 pp, then that would be crazy!! So it is really hard to compare...and can't really say that weddings in other states are soooo much cheaper than NJ, because we wouldn't be having the same wedding if we lived elsewhere. (and I agree the Viennese displays and ginormous cocktail hours can get a little ridiculous).
  • mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011

    My cousin's wedding in Florida was like this (even though she's originally a New Yorker). A table with some simple appetizers (cheese and crackers, fruit and vegetables, a couple hot things) and a carving station for cocktail hour, and an open bar but not a ton of liquor selections. Then a salad, a steak dinner and a slice of wedding cake. I liked it a lot.

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  • edited December 2011
    I've been to a few weddings in the Boston area, but I think they're similar to the NJ/NYC area.  I think my cousin's wedding on Cape Cod next summer is costing about as much as mine.
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  • uppereastgirluppereastgirl member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    And hey -- Kate and Will's reception this afternoon had canapes but I don't think a proper meal.  I'd imagine that their wedding was more expensive than any of ours :)

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  • edited December 2011
    My reception is 92 pp including tax and tip.  I had a minimum of 150 people and my parents are paying that.  My estimation is that the remaining 15k or so will fall on me and FI.  My guess has been around 30k.
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  • maddie7maddie7 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We paid 99% and it was around $45k-50k when all was said and done.
  • edited December 2011

    I know a lot of people think the cost of your wedding is mostly influenced by the number of guests, but that is not always true. We are inviting 180 and expecting about 140-150 to attend and we are spending around $55k, not including honeymoon, rings, rehearsal dinner, etc. Weddings in NJ are insanely expensive, although I know a lot of people do them on a tighter budget than I did so spending as much as I am is clearly not necessary - I'm still convinced it's not really possible to spend less than $20k on a wedding in NJ (assuming you are having it at an actual venue instead of a hall or a home, etc.).

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  • cindyn9178cindyn9178 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_much-wedding-costing-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:0aa320c3-f074-47dd-90c2-4a2b9454431ePost:9bc62abb-933d-418f-8f50-5f9e258e49b8">Re: How much is your wedding costing? POLL!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I know a lot of people think the cost of your wedding is mostly influenced by the number of guests, but that is not always true. We are inviting 180 and expecting about 140-150 to attend and we are spending around $55k, not including honeymoon, rings, rehearsal dinner, etc. Weddings in NJ are insanely expensive, although I know a lot of people do them on a tighter budget than I did so spending as much as I am is clearly not necessary - I'm still convinced it's not really possible to spend less than $20k on a wedding in NJ (assuming you are having it at an actual venue instead of a hall or a home, etc.).
    Posted by cutiepie12702[/QUOTE]
    I think you could spend less than $20k at a small venue, with less guests.
  • GiaspoGiaspo member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    You're right; Its totally a New Jersey thing...We looked into having a destination wedding in Arizona. The hotels were all gorgeous (the Biltmore, Ritz Carlton, etc). For the expensive costs per head, cocktail hour was based on THREE bites per person, followed by a small dinner. In the end, we couldn't imagine having our very Italian family and friends fly themselves to AZ for such a different experience from what they are expecting. I guess it is just what you are used to.
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  • cindyn9178cindyn9178 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_much-wedding-costing-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:0aa320c3-f074-47dd-90c2-4a2b9454431ePost:05dc4243-118c-4022-afe0-a26f2fd63be0">Re: How much is your wedding costing? POLL!</a>:
    [QUOTE]You're right; Its totally a New Jersey thing...We looked into having a destination wedding in Arizona. The hotels were all gorgeous (the Biltmore, Ritz Carlton, etc). For the expensive costs per head, cocktail hour was based on THREE bites per person, followed by a small dinner. In the end, we couldn't imagine having our very Italian family and friends fly themselves to AZ for such a different experience from what they are expecting. I guess it is just what you are used to.
    Posted by Giaspo[/QUOTE]
    I once flew to Louisiana for the wedding of my boyfriend at the time's brother.. the girl was from there... and I had no clue what to expect. It was in someone's backyard. They had cheese and crackers for an appetizer, Shrimp and some weird meat for dinner..and they cut the cake inside the house so not everybody knew, and we had no cake. It was also only 2 hours long.. definitely very different from what I was used to..but I had I known that, I'm not sure I would've spent the money on the trip.

    On a side note..if these people knew what I pay for a mortgage on a 1600 square foot house, their eyes would pop out of their heads.
  • edited December 2011
    I don't really see how you can spend less than 15k-20k total unless you do something at a VFW or have a breakfast or something.
    The dress, tux, flowers, limo, photographer, dj, invitations, video, rings have to be at least $2-$4k (on the low side) plus a honeymoon (even going down the shore for a week will set you back $1k) is bringing you up to $5k.
    Even if you are looking at a venue where the food is $80/pp (including tax + tip) and you have 100 people there is $8000 right there!

    I am hopefully going to be getting married only once and while I may not take out a loan I definitely think this is something you should splurge on!

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