Hello Ladies! This is a long one, but it was all the stuff that really helped me out so I wanted to share. I took to heart the advice my married friends gave me, and below is the list of the things that were most useful....
1. Keep everything on one master spreadsheet to save confusion. Mark everything on that sheet (what they are invited to, table they are sitting at, bringing a guest, what they got you for a present, whether you sent them a thank you card, etc).
2. Put your bridal party to work - it gives them a chance to get involved and takes pressure off of you. Things you might have them do: find shoes for their dresses, look into hairstyle options for you, etc
3. Put your bridal party to work on the day! This is super important. I was given this advice and I am so glad I did. The positions we had:
Vendor relations - I had a bridesmaid make sure that the vendors had
what they needed and were each able to get some dinner
Time Keeper - one of the girls was in charge of making sure that things
stayed on schedule and giving us a heads up as to what would be
happening next
Decision Maker - probably the most important thing there is, just someone
to tell others what to do. I chose my bridesmaid who did all the planning
with me and knew what I wanted. She was the one to run up to the bus
driver when he was getting ready to leave early, who talked to the dj as
to where to stage certain things, make sure the boys brought the
presents to the car, etc. Simple things that you just shouldnt worry
about.
Moral Support - probably best served by the maid of honor. The whole
day and days leading up to it are suppose to be about you, but everyone
else has their lives too. It is nice to have someone who solely things
about you and your feelings and keeps you calm.
Tips/Money Man - someone to pass out the cash and make sure all the
vendors get their tips or final payments
Gift Transport - someone to make sure your presents make it from the venue
to wherever you are going or want them
4. Find one person to complain to - things are going to go wrong, either in reality or just in your mind. You are surrounded by people who love and support you and you want to make sure that they are enjoying the wedding and the time leading up to it. But you will most likely need to vent or pout or do something.
5. Enjoy the time leading up to it - the day truly comes and goes so quickly and you cant get it back or slow it down. I know everyone says to enjoy the day, which is true, but equally true is enjoying the days leading up to it. Love the decisions you make, be excited about your flowers, the music, a reading in your ceremony, whatever, but revel in those details.
6. Let it go and rock out - I have so many awesome stories of my very rational and down to earth friends getting zoned in on some silly, minute detail, that drives them crazy. When the day comes, nothing actually matters except the fact that it is your wedding day and the party you have been waiting for.
And the ones that are from the my personal wedding planning vault:
7. Dont procrastinate - so many couples freak out and fight along the way because people react funny to stress. Come up with a list (i can send you mine if it is helpful) and knock things out well before hand. Even if it seems early, get it done and you can change your mind later if you want, but it will alleviate arguments and stress when you need to save the sanity.
8. Only solicit the opinions you want - Craig and I got super lucky and had a lot of decisions made before people started asking questions. Advice I always appreciate, but opinions I am not really into. It is your day and should be what the two of you want and not someone else reliving their wedding day. If there was something I wanted an opinioin or idea on, I asked, if not, I made the decision and then told people. I did worry about people not feeling as involved as I wanted them to feel though, so I sent out a monthly update to the bridesmaids and our families. It was just a quick thing about what we had gotten done in the previous month, what was on our to-do list, and if there was anything we needed or an important day coming up - people who dont care (like my brother) ignore it, and the others (craigs step-mom, his brother, etc) love it.
Good Luck!