Help!!! Time lag between ceremony and reception (long)

knramos26 · April 2011

It is so hard to get married in a Catholic church on a Saturday...
The two time options at our church are 1:30 and 6:30. Currently we have it scheduled for 6:30 on June 18 (they only do one wedding a weekend though so the other is open) and we are planning on it being about 45 minutes to an hour since we are not having mass. Then we will have to haul butt to the reception at Ault Park pavilion, which is a 30-40 minute drive (assuming our out of town guests don't get lost!). We are thinking guests will arrive betwen 8 and 8:30, and have cocktail "hour" during that time, then we would have our entrance and start dinner etc. at 8:30. Unfortunately, Ault Park makes you start your last song/exit at 11:30 and I am really not liking the idea of spending this much money for a 3 hour party. I am stressed out that everything will feel rushed, from the ceremony to the photos to dinner and dancing and just...no fun.
So here is my idea: switch to the 1:30 time! Unfortunately, we've already sent invitations so we would have to send corrected info. Does anyone have experience with that and did it cause mass confusion? Then the biggest issue would be that Ault Park isn't open to our guests until 6 pm, so there would be a pretty big time lag in between (3-3.5 hours probably). It would be so much more relaxed, though. We could even have the full mass, which would cut down on the time in between. We would have plenty of time for pictures, we could have longer than a half hour cocktail hour that ends as soon as the last guest arrives, dinner would be at a more reasonable time, and my fiance and I could leave before the party ends which I would really prefer!
So in your experience, is somewhere between 2.5 and 3.5 hours between ceremony/reception way too long? Any ideas for what to suggest guests do in between? Will that be all they remember about the day? Is it taking too much of our guests' time if they are doing wedding related stuff from 1:30 to 11:30 with a couple hours break in the middle? Is it not okay to change it now that invitations are out?
Thanks so much in advance for your help and for bothering to read through all that!

tasharocks · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_ohio-cincinnati_time-lag-between-ceremony-reception-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:108Discussion:f7fa18e0-ce06-4561-a017-858133315342Post:f72d0d7d-2e16-4db1-b56c-1b1f4d4edb0f">Help!!! Time lag between ceremony and reception (long)</a>:
[QUOTE]
So in your experience, is somewhere between 2.5 and 3.5 hours between ceremony/reception way too long?
yes, i think that is too much time to leave your guests with nothing to do. if i'm all dressed up for a wedding, i really don't want to wander around town trying to find something to do while waiting for the reception to start.

Any ideas for what to suggest guests do in between?
host a cocktail hour somewhere else. a friend of mine is having a relative host all guests at a club house in an apartment complex. there will be snacks and tea and lemonade, as well as board games for the guests to be entertained.

Will that be all they remember about the day?
it's very possible

Is it taking too much of our guests' time if they are doing wedding related stuff from 1:30 to 11:30 with a couple hours break in the middle?
yes, i think so. guests may opt to attend the ceremony OR the reception instead of both, or not show up at all because it's demanding too much of their time.

Is it not okay to change it now that invitations are out?
i think this is your biggest problem. just suck it up and deal with your plans as is. i think it's a really bad idea to try to fix poor planning (for lack of a better word) with last minute changes that could confuse guests and cause additional problems.

Thanks so much in advance for your help and for bothering to read through all that!
Posted by knramos26[/QUOTE]

mumel16 · April 2011

I think 6:30 is workable.
Is there a reason you're expecting the ceremony to be so long if you're not doing full mass? Our ceremony is also at 6:30, and our reception is 30 minutes from the church. We're not doing full mass so the priest said 30-40 minutes, and then guests will head straight to cocktail hour, which will begin at 7:30. Most people probably won't get there until 7:45, but 45 minute for cocktail hour is hopefully still long enough.
As for pictures, we are doing the majority before the ceremony (fiance and I are seeing each other beforehand) and only church photos after, which the photographer said should only take 20 minutes or so.
If you went with a similar plan that would make your reception time 7:30 (or 7:45) - 11:30. Not terrible!

BMBrinson · April 2011

I think that its your wedding, the guest that want to be there and love you will be there. Most people who go to catholic weddings are used to a break between the two. You want to be able to enjoy YOUR wedding day! You only get to do this once! I think if you sent out a correction, most of the guest have probably set aside that day to spend time with you any way. It a little inconvient but I think that they will be understanding. Plans change and hopefully they can adjust, but I think its important that you get to experience your Wedding and remember it.

skrippenstapel · April 2011

I feel your pain! My catholic ceremony is at 6:00 and then my reception is at ault park too

I agree with the people above- stick with the 6:30. Your guests will thank you. I would just say to cut the cocktail hour as short as you can. My photographer said that we could do a few pictures between the ceremony and reception, go to the reception/get introduced/let everyone start eating dinner, and then sneak away for a little bit to take more pictures since Ault Park is so pretty. This will save on time in between, so you can start dinner earlier.

belle19dV · April 2011

I, too, was wondering why your ceremony should take 45-60 minutes with no mass. Can you ask the priest to do the most abbreviated ceremony available? Did you even get to chose your ceremony or is that entirely up to him?

newsgrl39 · April 2011

I have been to a few catholic ceremonies that weren't full masses and most were around the 30 min range.. (one i went to was actually 20!) so I wouldnt expect it to be 45 minutes.

I would stay with the 6:30 time. You will be fine. esp if you already sent out the invites... that seems like waaaaay too much hassle to deal with to change the time.
Just make sure your caterer/dj to keep the ball rolling once the guests arrive at the reception and get the party going!

knramos26 · April 2011

Thanks to everyone for your help! I am glad to hear that Catholic ceremonies without masses are shorter than I expected so we will keep the 6:30 time and we will have to talk to the priest to make sure he keeps it from going too long.