Last Name - to change or not to

Re: Last Name - to change or not to

• raangoli

  

  May 2012

  I think that's a very personal decision, to be honest. I know women who haven't changed their names after marriage but do use their husband's name for social purposes. Then there are those who didn't change their name but get very offended when someone refers to them as Mrs. MarriedLastName.
  
  I don't think that it would be difficult when it comes time to having children if you don't change your name. Most forms etc do ask for mother's name vs. father's name and you can easily specify the difference there. 
  
  I wasn't sure if I wanted to change my name, but I am a fairly traditional person, so I did. But at work, I maintain an alias so that I continue to use my maiden name professionaly. For me, that was the best of both worlds.

  

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• temurlang member

  

  May 2012

  This is one of those things that is completely up to each person.  I changed mine, for various reasons, including that it is beneficial in my career to have a certain type of surname.

  
  

  Many of my friends have kept their maiden names, usually for career reasons, but sometimes also to have a name that represents their ethnic group.  Many of these girls are South Asian and have kids with different last names and no one finds it weird.  I live in a pretty liberal area, though.

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• SonaliPop member

  

  May 2012

  Yes, it's a matter of personal preference.
  
  My fiance has a very generic Gujarati last name. I am Gujarati but from a lesser known community, therefore I have a more unique last name. I want to hold onto my name because I'm marrying someone who is a different type of Gujarati and I'm proud of my heritage. My fiance would love for me to change my name - and I'm sure when his parents and family find out I'm not changing it they will too - but I'm happy to use his name for personal reasons. I do not want to change it legally, though. If someone referrs to me in my personal life as Mrs. ____________, I'm not going to mind.
  
  Then again, I could always change my mind and hyphenate it but that's how I feel for now. I don't think hyphenating is too long and it gives you the best of both worlds. We also have discussed giving our kids my maiden name as a middle name.

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• RM1982 member

  

  June 2012

  From a different perspective, I know I found it really confusing as a kid that my best friend's mother hadn't changed her name. I had no idea what to call her and it was very stressful for me. 

  
  

  I didn't want to accidentally call her Mrs. Friend'sLastName, but it didn't seem right to call her Mrs. HerLastName or Miss HerLastName. 

  
  

  In retrospect, Ms. HerLastName probably would have worked. But as a kid I had no idea what to do and spent years avoiding ever having to use her name.

  
  

  That said, now that I'm an adult I can understand how personal a name is and what a big deal giving it up is.

  

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