how to tell my parents about the wedding

runwithfaith · December 2012

My parents are not supportive of my relationship at all. We have a pretty good relationship now; better than I thought it would ever be again after all we went through when I came out. I don't know how I should tell them about the wedding though. I'm 99% sure it is not going to go over well and I'm just trying to figure out the best way to go about it . Any suggestions?

2dBride · December 2012

Unfortunately, there is no magical way that will ensure their support. Thus, there are really only three things you can do:

1. Tell them soon. If you don't tell them until the last moment, they won't have time to recover from the initial shock and perhaps be less hostile to the wedding itself. Even worse would be to tell them only after the wedding.

2. If possible, introduce your FI before telling them, if they don't already know him/her. It's a lot harder for parents to reject someone they know and like than to reject the concept of same-sex marriage.

3. Tell them in the way that works best for you. Some people prefer to write a letter first, so that they can think through what to say more and can discuss the matter in person only after the initial shock has worn off. Others prefer to break the news in person, so that they are not left stressing out waiting for a return letter that may not even come.

Good luck with this, and best wishes on your engagement!

QueerFemme · December 2012

I agree with 2ndBride. There is no magic here. It will be hard, there may be tears or yelling. Give them as much notice as you can. Tell them you would love their support and hope they will attend and witness your vows to your partner. Let them vent if needed, but stand firm that things aren't going to change, and you are moving forward with your life, and you hope they will be willing to accept and support you.

vmdizzle · December 2012

I understand. Though my immediate family know. My father and my paternal grandmother still call it an "arrangement" instead of a relationship. My mother's parents adopted the don't ask don't tell policy. My mother, aunts, uncles, and cousins would all be there but I am not sure whether or not to send out wedding invitations to my grandparents. hmph. It will be hard for you to tell your parents, but this is your life. This is potentially one of the happiest moments in your life, let them know, how they handle it is their issue! In the end, this day is about you and your partner. Those at your wedding are there to support you and your love together, if someone doesn't support it, they don't need to be there! Good luck

how to tell my parents about the wedding

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