bridemaids cost

klgrh6 · April 2010

My wedding is on a tight budget. We are only having three bridesmaids two are my sisters (one of them will have just had a baby) and my third is out of town. So they will have tight budgets too. I was just wondering what items are typical for bridesmans to pay for? I don't want to ask them to pay for stuff that I should be covering.

emilyinchile · April 2010

The dress and their own transportation to and from the wedding as well as any accommodation they need (for your OOT BM...this does not include things like the bride wanting everyone to stay together at a hotel the night before the wedding). You as the bride should discuss dress budget with each of the girls individually before deciding on a BM dress.

If you're asking for specific shoes or accessories, you should pay for them. If you're asking for something general - like gold jewelry or black sandals - they should find their own. Pro hair and make-up, if required or "encouraged" by you should also be paid for by you.

tidetravel · April 2010

Ahhh. A nice bride.

They are generally responsible for paying for their attire. If the bridesmaid is OOT, she is also responsible for paying for her transportation and lodging.

If you require them to have hair/makeup done a certain way, then you are responsible for paying. It's also generally nice to not require specific jewelry or shoes.

They may decide to throw you a bridal shower or b-party, but are not required to. If they decide to host those events, then they would pay for them, as well.

mbcdefg · April 2010

Their only expenses are the dress, and whatever it takes for them to get to the wedding (plane, train, car, hotel).

You are responsible for asking them about their dress budgets before you shop for them, so that you know you are not picking a dress beyond their budgets. If you want a pricier dress, you need to pay for the expenses about the budgets they gave you (so if they can afford $150 and the dress you want is $225, pay the extra $75 yourself). It'd be nice if you can offer them a place to stay (your house or block some hotel rooms at a discount for all your traveling wedding guests - this should be free for you to do) or help out with travel expenses (maybe use a connection you have to get them a discounted plane ticket), but you don't have to.

You need to pay for their meal at the rehearsal dinner and the wedding reception, and their bouquets. If there will be a limo to get you guys around on the wedding day, you pay for that as well. It's O.K. to ask the bridal party to carpool if that's best for all of you, but find a way to help them out if that is not possible. If you want to buy them things like a wrap/shawl or jewelry, you can, but you don't have to.

You also need to pay for anything that you are mandating. If you are requiring specific shoes, specific jewelry, or if you tell them that they need to have their hair and makeup done professionally (even if they can pick the style or the stylist), then you have to pay for it.

If you say, "I found a stylist who will do your hair for $x. But otherwise, feel free to go to your own stylist or do your own hair" - then they can pay for whatever they want, or do it themselves. If you tell them to wear the silver shoes and jewelry of their choice, then they pay for it. I bought pashmina wraps and purses for my BMs as a favor, but they wore their own jewelry and black shoes, and went to separate salons for their hair. They elected to use the same makeup artist that I hired to come to the house for myself.

They are not required to throw you a shower or bachelorette party, or to chip in for them if someone else hosts. Stay out of that all together and wait to see if they do something. If they do, awesome. If not, you can feel disappointed inside but never vocalize it to them, and never throw or help plan your own parties.

Just keep the lines of communication open with them, and ask them about their budgets before you decide on something, and you should be fine.

vsgal · April 2010

They pay for their outfits-dress, shoes. If you want their hair done by a stylist, you pay. If you want them to get manis and pedi's, you pay. If you want them to have make-up professionally done, you pay.

I would recommend that you talk to each girl privately about the costs of the dress. You picking out a $200 because you like it may not agree with their budgets. I personally prefer for the girls not to match. Then they look like props. If you want them to match, take the lowest dollar amount given and try to reduce it by $20. That will give them some wiggle room for shoes. I told my party to pick out what they wanted. I asked them to wear black and they picked the style, fabric and length. I didn't even see the dress until they showed up on the wedding day.

Also, keep in mind that the pre wedding parties are optional. Showers and Bach. Parties are not mandatory. Don't ask for them, expect them, or plan them yourself. The parties may not fit in the budget for them.

xoxob · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridemaids-cost?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:ac7669e7-ccb1-4fbc-8bda-2e681ecb7bf3Post:2b9f81fc-1c2e-44b2-9210-97c399c5b93c">Re: bridemaids cost</a>:
[QUOTE]The dress and their own transportation to and from the wedding as well as any accommodation they need (for your OOT BM...this does not include things like the bride wanting everyone to stay together at a hotel the night before the wedding). You as the bride should discuss dress budget with each of the girls individually before deciding on a BM dress. If you're asking for specific shoes or accessories, you should pay for them. If you're asking for something general - like gold jewelry or black sandals - they should find their own. Pro hair and make-up, if required or "encouraged" by you should also be paid for by you.
Posted by emilyinchile[/QUOTE]

Emily is not only beautiful, but wise.

stina93446 · April 2010

It's so refreshing to open a post about bms that is written by a bride with class and poise.They should expect to pay for their dress. If they get to pick their own shoes in a reasonable color, I'd have them pay for that too. What is not ok is jewelry, hair, and makeup. Oh and dyed shoes IMO.

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