Bridal Shower Gift Theme?

jbenbe28 · April 2011

Hi! I'm going to be throwing my friend a bridal shower. She and her fiance have been living together for 5 yrs now so they won't need much/haven't registered for much home stuff. She's absolutely crazy about shoes, one particular store is her fave. Would it be an okay idea to have everyone buy her shoes for her shower? I know she has a "wish list" on the site lol. Or is that weird? I just don't want her to get a bunch of stuff she doesn't want/need. Thanks in advance!

OnionBiitch · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_bridal-shower-gift-theme?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:717c1524-1207-489c-9f81-b2f0faaf5e90Post:b1d67db2-4d73-4b61-aa2f-28f65e566c70">Bridal Shower Gift Theme?</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi! I'm going to be throwing my friend a bridal shower. She and her fiance have been living together for 5 yrs now so they won't need much/haven't registered for much home stuff. She's absolutely crazy about shoes, one particular store is her fave. <strong>Would it be an okay idea to have everyone buy her shoes for her shower?</strong> I know she has a "wish list" on the site lol. Or is that weird? I just don't want her to get a bunch of stuff she doesn't want/need. Thanks in advance!
Posted by jbenbe28[/QUOTE]
No. That would be so weird. It's not a birthday party.

I honestly do not get it when people say "oh, we've lived together for x amount of time, so we don't need anything." Really? Nothing? New sheets? New towels? Some new pots/pans/obscure item that you normally wouldn't buy for yourself? Maybe some artwork for your house? Yard tools?

Anyway, if they don't need/want anything, then do not have a shower. The point of a shower is to shower the bride with gifts. Requesting that shower guests bring money, gift cards, shoes would be inappropriate IMO.

kgorman307 · April 2011

I know it's "her" shower, but I don't think it's appropriate to have guests get something that's not for the couple since it's their wedding, not just hers. If they are not registered, don't include registry information in the shower invites. People will get the hint to give the couple something meaningful, or give cash. Whatever you do, don't put "greenback shower" or ask for cash on the invite. If she doesn't need/want the gifts she gets, she can return them.

I've heard of lingerie showers, but technically that's for both of them...

yoko2011 · April 2011

I've been to wine showers where people bring wine accessories and favorite bottles of wine for the couple, you could bbq shower where people bring grill stuff, etc. I wouldn't buy shoes ...and asking for cash is bad ...

rkatz8 · April 2011

i think the Shoe Shower idea is cute! why have people buy her things she doesn't want? showers with a theme are much more fun. how about a Shoe & ____ theme. (insert something else that starts with S or rhymes? can't think of anything at the moment) you could make that other thing something that's more for the guy or both of them.

i think a bbq theme is LAME unless the girl is really into grilling. it's usually guys that do most of the grilling. idk what's wrong with making the shower all about the girl when the guys are even invited to showers usually!!

rkatz8 · April 2011

what about Shoes & Shopping? then people could either get the shoes or they could give gift cards to stores that both bride and groom could use. it would make a cute theme for shower invitations and decorations.

Viczaesar · April 2011

Shoes? Really? No. Just no.

yoko2011 · April 2011

You can think a BBQ shower is lame ... i was just trying to come up with things that people may not think of as registering for towels, etc. Last I knew, the shower was for gifts for the couple typically for their house ... of course, in my circle as much as they love shoes, a shoe shower would be like a lead balloon -

cschuma2 · April 2011

I'm not a fan of the shoe idea.

I had a friend who didn't really want or expect gifts from her family and friends. She and her DH both had homes of their own and between the 2 households full of things, she felt she had plenty. Instead they had a recipe shower. It was mostly just ladies getting together for food and chatting one afternoon. However, each guest wrote out their favorite recipes out for the bride-to-be so that she had some great ideas for her and DH when they were married. Most of the guests seemed to love it and all talked about how cute they thought it was.

It's kind was nice that her guests weren't spending money, the bride didn't get things that she didn't need, and she found some new great dishes that her and her DH could enjoy together. Just another idea for you.

[Deleted User] · April 2011

Bad idea.

If you don't need anything don't have a shower. I do think things like sheets, towels etc need to be replaced.

jbenbe28 · April 2011

I don't want to make this seem as if she requested this theme, because that's not the case. The thing is, we want to throw them a shower even if they don't need stuff for their house. They just recently had a house warming and got lots of upgrades to what you would typically register for. I know our crowd and, even if you don't register or say you don't want gifts, they're going to want to bring something. I guess maybe just let them bring what they want/if they want to? I kind of liked the shoes and shopping idea but now I'm not sure. I guess I just thought that having a theme for gifts was basically along the same lines as them registering for gifts. Thanks for the input! You gave me a lot to think about.

sveta22m · April 2011

I like the idea of Shoes and (insert something here) theme

Apparenly showers are not only for the purpose of showering the bride with gifts:
"The Bridal Shower originated with the intent to strengthen friendships between the bride and her friends. In this gathering, the bride’s friends would give her moral support and help her prepare for her marriage. The idea to give gifts is fairly new; originating circa the 1890’s. "

So if the bride/groom have everything of the material realm, it doesnt mean they shouldn't have a bridal shower. The shower is a part of the right of passage from singlehood to being married.

jilld82 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_bridal-shower-gift-theme?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:717c1524-1207-489c-9f81-b2f0faaf5e90Post:bb8e4614-a5b3-49ed-b3e9-8f322c5fe2f8">Re: Bridal Shower Gift Theme?</a>:
[QUOTE]I like the idea of Shoes and (insert something here) theme<strong>Apparenly showers are not only for the purpose of showering the bride with gifts</strong>: " The Bridal Shower originated with the intent to strengthen friendships between the bride and her friends. In this gathering, the bride’s friends would give her moral support and help her prepare for her marriage. The idea to give gifts is fairly new; originating circa the 1890’s. " So if the bride/groom have everything of the material realm, it doesnt mean they shouldn't have a bridal shower. The shower is a part of the right of passage from singlehood to being married.
Posted by sveta22m[/QUOTE]

That's actually exactly what a bridal shower is. You don't throw a shoe shower for the bride. It's so rude. The purpose of a shower is to shower the bride with gifts for her and her husband to start their new lives together with. Unless the husband is going to be wearing her high heels then you are wrong.

DramaGeek · April 2011

I've been to a stock the bar party, that one was fun. People brought various liquors, cool shot glasses, salts and sugars for rimming the glasses, things like that.

We also threw a "date night" shower for a friend. The gifts were all centered around things they could use for date nights leading up to or after the wedding. They got gift certificates for restaurants, movies, plays, things like that, and a few people did give her clothes, shoes, and purses to dress up with. I believe he even got a set of cufflinks.

Beachy730 · April 2011

I definitely think a "shoe shower" is a horrible idea. I understand your reasoning, but just no. Like PPs have said, showers are for showering the bride with gifts to start their new lives together. Shoes don't do that. And honestly, if she is the type of woman that has a shoe wish list, I'm guessing she has a huge collection and the last thing her FI wants is more shoes. At least I know that's what my H's opinion would be.

I also don't understand how couples can say they have NOTHING they need to register for. H had lived on his own for 6 years when we met, and I had a huge collection in my parents house of Pampered Chef and other kitchen items. I had thought we wouldn't need to register for much, but we ended up making a full registry. We upgraded to fancy towels and sheets, lots of kitchen gadgets and new appliances, and even some camping equipment. My parents have been married for over 33 years, buy themselves whatever they want, and I'm sure if they had to they would be able to make a registry with upgrades and things.

Summer2011Bride · April 2011

I wouldn't do the shoe idea for reasons PP have stated. If she has no registry and doesn't want anything, then she is turning down having showers. I seriously doubt there's NOTHING she could register for though, even just upgrades of items she has.

Milsey32 · April 2011

A shoe party is more of a birthday party theme.. not WEDDINGness. I mean, MAYBE... JUST MAYBE... it could pass for your bach party but that's still iffy. and I only say that because some bach parties the guests will buy lingerie or something so shoes might be something guests may be more comfortable to buy... but personally I don't like it at all.

coconutkt · April 2011

I think the bridal shower should have something to do with their new life and her interests, but I don't think I'd give this idea a green light. If there's not a lot of stuff she wants in terms of gifts, its still possible to think outside the box without potentially offending someone who got an invite to a shower themed with shoes. I see where you're coming from COMPLETELY, but if I got that invite, my response would be ummmmm no. Like someone said, it's not a birthday party. People will want to give their money to something that has to do with the couples' new lives together, and you may get some kickback from people who are glued to the traditional. I love the idea of a recipe shower or a stock the bar shower, those are neat. If they're not into those, a lingerie shower can be fun (and if anythings not to her liking/style she can return/exchange). I know for my fiance and I, we've lived together for a few years, and lived apart more years than that, so we have a ton of stuff, most of which was hand me downs or is by now outdated so our registry is full of updates to the stuff that's really old and worn.

shivermekimbers · April 2011

I've been to a few "Date Night" bridal showers and think they are a perfect way for people who already have their home the way they want it. Quality time is more important in a marriage anyway. I think the shoe party is fine if it suits her style and her guests style. If her guests are more traditional, then it probably won't go over well. But don't be afraid to do something more "current" just because it's not the norm. Good luck!

braneree · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_bridal-shower-gift-theme?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:717c1524-1207-489c-9f81-b2f0faaf5e90Post:a14345ca-541e-48b3-9cff-92453eeca225">Re: Bridal Shower Gift Theme?</a>:
I am interested in the "Date Night" idea. Can you share how you worded the invites?
Thanks. Laura
<a href="mailto:Lpoole7376@aol.com" rel="nofollow">Lpoole7376@aol.com</a>

[QUOTE]I've been to a stock the bar party, that one was fun. People brought various liquors, cool shot glasses, salts and sugars for rimming the glasses, things like that. We also threw a "date night" shower for a friend. The gifts were all centered around things they could use for date nights leading up to or after the wedding. They got gift certificates for restaurants, movies, plays, things like that, and a few people did give her clothes, shoes, and purses to dress up with. I believe he even got a set of cufflinks.
Posted by DramaGeek[/QUOTE]

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