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What's the WORST relationship advice you've been given?

Gabrielle76Gabrielle76
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in July 2013 Weddings
Since my FI and I got engaged, everyone we know has had a wealth of advice for us on how to make it work.  A lot of it has been great, but some of it has been seriously stinky.  The worst advice we've been given is the old favorite "never go to bed angry."  Everything we've learned has taught us that it's bad advice.  Sometimes you need time to think over exactly why you're angry, then you can come together and fix it like grown ups.  How are you supposed to never go to bed angry? The best I can figure, you either pretend to make up even if you're still upset, or stay up and fight. 

So, what's the worst advice you've been given? It can be something that conflicts with your personal ideals of a relationship, something you don't care for, or something that is just plain incorrect.
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Re: What's the WORST relationship advice you've been given?

  • Getting2VowelsGetting2Vowels member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    Hmm..good question..to be honest, I don't think either of us have gotten any bad advice.... I'll have to think about this one and get back to you :-)
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  • keyaira04keyaira04 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    " You don't have to tell him EVERYTHING! White lies here or there is ok." This is from my mom...who is divorced, never remarried. FI and I have a very honest and open relationship (that I est.)...and would like to keep it that way.

    "You need to teach him _____ now! Don't let him get spoiled!" This is from my boss...I kinda get wehere she is coming from, but its from the wrong place (too much to explain), so it's bad advice.
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  • WalkersFurMamaWalkersFurMama member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    We moved in together three years ago and heard it ALL. The most common were:

    "Now he'll never marry you. Why would he?!" and "Now you're doomed. People who live together before they are married never stay together."

    I never said anything, and I am sure they feel stupid now. He DID propose, and we are hardly doomed, we are more "husband and wife" than most of our married friends. 

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  • WildMageletWildMagelet member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2013-weddings_whats-the-worst-relationship-advice-youve-been-given?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:a322ad2c-25cd-4d52-b123-096e1e4ecda5Discussion:930b154f-ec31-4076-9633-90c1f55f00eaPost:d62a5273-f39f-4e36-a2d0-f542c6f75379">Re: What's the WORST relationship advice you've been given?</a>:
    [QUOTE]We moved in together three years ago and heard it ALL. The most common were: "Now he'll never marry you. Why would he?!" and "Now you're doomed. People who live together before they are married never stay together." I never said anything, and I am sure they feel stupid now. He DID propose, and we are hardly doomed, we are more "husband and wife" than most of our married friends. 
    Posted by WalkersFurMama[/QUOTE]

    <div>I think the problem with that is even someone suggesting that is just setting the couple up for failure because even if the woman wasn't thinking about it, now she's thinking about it and how it's not going to happen.  If marriage was already on her priority list, then it makes it more of a focus than it may have been otherwise and she might get upset and leave that it hasn't happened yet sooner than letting the relationship run its natural course - creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.  There are plenty of people out there in loving committed relationships who aren't married, many who cohabitate.  A piece of paper does not a relationship make and I think society in general needs to figure that out.  </div>
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  • WalkersFurMamaWalkersFurMama member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    Flutter, I agree wholeheartedly! FH and I had discussed marriage and our expectations before we had moved in together, so I was able to stay level headed and not get too anxious that it wasn't happening right away. But, if we hadn't, I would have been a wreck hearing what I did from so many people. Our society relies too much on a piece of paper to make couples "legitimate". 
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  • Getting2VowelsGetting2Vowels member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    Very well said, both of you.   I was engaged once before and lived with him (different guy) so I think at this point (and my age) my parents didn't say anything. I do remember the first time around my dad was very, VERY against the idea of me living with a guy that I was not married to. Years later, he probably thinks its pointless lol  I know they're both happy for me though now that we have a home and are both very happy together :)

    As for FI's parents, I haven't gotten any bit of bad advice from her. She's so nice, funny and quite outspoken...I'm sure I would have heard of something by now..if not from her then through FI. I guess I lucked out marrying into a great family.
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