Priest suggests we don't do a full Mass

Re: Priest suggests we don't do a full Mass

• doctabroccoli member

  

  May 2011 edited December 2011

  That sucks .  As you may have read elsewhere, we did do a full mass despite H being Methodist.  We did a unity candle since he couldn't receive the Eucharist.  If he didn't refuse to let you do the whole Mass, I'd just be persistent and say it's what you both want.

  
  Waiting to meet the baby broccoli on 5/5/2013!

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• [Deleted User] member

  

  May 2011 edited December 2011

  That does stink. I don't think there is anything that says you can't have full Mass, but it is generally something that priests don't recommend when both parties aren't Catholic.
  
  I would just nicely tell your priest you will be having full Mass. There is no reason why you cannot especially if your FI is on board with everything. Good luck.
  

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• caseyhaynes429

  

  May 2011 edited December 2011

  Honestly, I understand where your preist is coming from. That is a really crappy situation for you though. If it's important to you and your future husband to have communion during the ceremony and he is non-practicing Lutheran, why doesnt he convert to Catholicism so he can receive it too? Is that how you two are planning on raising children too? It might just make things easier in the long run too. GL!

  

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• Irishcurls member

  

  May 2011 edited December 2011

  Thanks ladies! FI suggested I calm down, since it doesn't need to be decided rightnow and that perspective from my priest in MD will be a good thing. So I'm going to call him next week to discuss it--I completely understand in concept what the priest is saying, but my entire family and most of my friends are practicing Catholics, and FI's family is very tiny (6 people) and not offended by not participating. We'll have to decide soon but if he doesn't forbid it after me bringing it up again, then I hope to go ahead as planned.

  

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• Calypso1977 member

  

  May 2011 edited December 2011

  defnitely talk to your precana priest.
  i think that if your FI is ok with the mass, then you should have it, for the very reasons you stated you wanted it.  i think the only time to avoid the mass is when the non-catholic is not ok with it, which isnt the case here.

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• bibliophile2010 member

  

  May 2011 edited December 2011

  I would make sure that your FI is really, really, really truly ok with having the Eucharist at the wedding, and that he's not "ok" with it because you and your family want it? Does he go to mass with you regularly? Does he express interest in the faith? How do you plan on raising children? Talk to your pre-Cana priest and get his advice and then, if you still feel like the mass is the way to go, do it.

  

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• mica178 member

  

  May 2011 edited December 2011

  My H's uncle is a priest, and he suggests against the full Mass when one of the couple is not Catholic.  That being said, if we pushed for it, I'm sure he would have agreed.  H didn't want to have communion right after our vows since he can't take it in the Catholic church.

  **Bio**

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• plato79 member

  

  May 2011 edited December 2011

  I respectfully dissent here. I see your FI supporting you in having the full mass as a symbol of unity - you are choosing to stand together in faith before God and your FI is choosing to support you in your religion. While he cannot receive the eucharist, your FI can receive a blessing and participate in that way. 

  
  

  Because I want all who attend to feel included in my wedding mass, I have specifically asked the priest to make an announcement that anyone not prepared to receive communion or who is not a practicing catholic still come forward for a blessing. This is unity - maybe a different kind, but it's still unity. 

  
  

  If this is what you and FI want, stand firm and ask for the mass. 

  June 3, 2011!

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• csh96 member

  

  May 2011 edited December 2011

  So sorry to hear that.  FI is Methodist but the church did not force us out of a full Mass.  I chose to do just a Liturgy of the Word because there will be just a handful of Catholics there, less than 10.

  &nbsp ?
  

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• lalaith50 member

  

  May 2011 edited December 2011

  I think it's pretty standard for priests to recommend that you not have a full Mass when one party isn't Catholic -- I don't think you should take it personally or be upset about it.

  
  

  I don't think it would hurt to at least be open to the idea, and certainly talk more to your priest about it, and as was also suggested, have another really candid conversation with your FI to be *sure* that you really do know what you think. And then if you still are comfortable in your decision, then just tell the priest that.

  
  

  But...keep in mind that this priest has probably married *lots* of people, and try to not dismiss his concerns.

  

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• Irishcurls member

  

  May 2011 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_priest-suggests-dont-full-mass?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:0eddadcd-ea05-4b9e-8891-7107b73bfdc0Post:9ca62e15-9a76-45fe-9f56-b1a6969222b9">Re: Priest suggests we don't do a full Mass</a>:
  [QUOTE]I think it's pretty standard for priests to recommend that you not have a full Mass when one party isn't Catholic -- I don't think you should take it personally or be upset about it. I don't think it would hurt to at least be open to the idea, and certainly talk more to your priest about it, and as was also suggested, have another really candid conversation with your FI to be *sure* that you really do know what you think. And then if you still are comfortable in your decision, then just tell the priest that. But...keep in mind that this priest has probably married *lots* of people, and <strong>try to not dismiss his concerns.</strong>
  Posted by lalaith50[/QUOTE]
  Yeah, I'm not dismissing them, but he has never met me nor FI and it is very important to me. FI is all about getting a blessing when we go up and I receive. I think that is a nice unifying symbol that might work for everyone. We'll see how it plays out. 

  

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• HelloKaty37

  

  May 2011 edited December 2011

  I completely understand where you are coming from.  My fiance is not Catholic so we will likely not be celebrating a full Mass (also because I converted a little over a year ago, so only a couple members of my family are Catholic, as well as his father's family, so about 1/10 of our guests).  One thing you might be interested in, which my parish offers, is to have a special Mass the morning before your wedding for any practicing Catholics involved as guests or participants in the ceremony to take communion the day of.  Non-Catholics will also be welcome to receive a blessing.  It's not ideal, but I feel like it's a good compromise for our situation.
  
  If having the full Mass during your wedding is important to you, though, I agree with the others that you should stick to your guns.  What matters is what is in your and your future husband's hearts, and if you two feel that it is a symbol of unity, then it is.

  After five years he finally asked!

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