My FI and I are paying for our wedding ourselves and really want to keep it small with max of 70 people. It's not just that we're paying for it, but because we both want a smaller affair surrounded by the people that we love and love us. His mother has different ideas though.... She has been complaining to me nonstop about almost everything - the officiant (which we haven't even chosen), the venue (again haven't chosen yet), the food, the guest list.... When my FI were trying to figure out the guest list we sat down and wrote down who we wanted and left her with 6 spots to fill as she chose that she did already. The main members of his family were already invited - his grandmother, aunts, uncles, and cousins. She drops in our laps while we were at a venue and doing a tasting in front of us, my matron of honor, a groomsman, and the event manager and chef that we have to add 4 more people to our guest list. I don't know these people or ever met these people. They are 2nd cousins to my FI that he hasn't seen or spoken to in over 3 years. He doesn't like them either. I thought that it was rude since she didn't ask or even care to find an appropiate time to bring it up. I didn't like what she did or how she did it, and my biggest problems is that I don't want to introduce myself to my guests for the first time at my own wedding. My FI felt the same way about the whole situation and I just don't know how to not so harshly tell her no. Her defence is that "they know about the wedding" - just because people know doesn't mean they need to be invited, IMO, otherwise I need to invite everyone here on theknot.com