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Not sure how to get motivated....

TobeSASTobeSAS member
First Comment
in Second Weddings
I am having a hard time really getting "into" the planning mode for the wedding. During the first wedding it was all I could think about. Now there are so many other things to think about, FI kids who live with us, sports seasons coming up for the three of them, work, money, everyday life. I just remember during planning of the first wedding, it was all I talked about, worked on, and lived for a whole year before the wedding. Everything had a list, binder, timeline, etc.

Is it because I am now not so focused on the event but instead the two of us and the getting married part? I just am afraid I am missing something as I am not at all stressing about anything. I know it will be wonderful, but I just am having a hard time getting into the planning.
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Re: Not sure how to get motivated....

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    Sue-n-KevinSue-n-Kevin member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    edited December 2011
    As long as your procrastination is not due to cold feet, I'm sure it's because you've matured.

    For those of us with kids, or marrying men with kids, who have jobs, IMO we don't talk about our weddings like we did/would have when younger. We have LIVES now! Partially it may be that we accept the "marriage" part more earnestly than the "wedding" part, but I also think it's because we have perspective and understand that if things go wrong because we didn't plan X, Y, or Z, it's really ok, because in the end we are married.

    Just my 2 cents.
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    Lisa50Lisa50 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Well, with a wedding date in August, there is no need to feel rushed.  Very nice weddings can be planned in a short amount of time.  As long as you and your fiance are talking about how you want things to go and are narrowing in on the essence of the day, I think you're in great shape.

    We live in the real world ... with SO much going on that it would be frightening if we did/could hyper-focus on wedding planning the way many younger brides do. 

    Give yourself a break, breathe and relax.  Pick up the planning next month (well, not tomorrow ... but after Valentine's Day, or in March, whatever floats your boat!).  Good luck!
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    handfast4mehandfast4me member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I had the opposite problem--I was all set to go, but he didn't want us to even start planning after we had our initial handfasting until after his birthday (4 months later!) So, I came on this board and did "secret research" and investigated different things that I was considering.  In the end, none of my research was used as we went off to get married on the beach, just the two of us.  So, I suggest you don't waste your time, as I did, but sit with your FI and figure out what the two of you want to do, and work from there. 

    As a warning, a lot of what "the knot" tells you is pure bunk.  You don't NEED to have a guest book, or a flower girl, or any of that other stuff.  I remember getting a message about 2 months before my wedding that said that I had 337 tasks in the "past due" column!  This was the knot's check off list, which is OK to use as a guide, but don't think all that stuff is in stone. 

    I think the PP who stated that at the end the two of you will married, is the right way to look at this. 
    image Don't mess with the old dogs; age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
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    Lisa50Lisa50 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_not-sure-motivated?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:cfa09d80-8efc-453f-afb4-73e2b0500fe9Post:51cf1771-9744-461a-9c08-38b139b98bad">Re: Not sure how to get motivated....</a>:
    [QUOTE]  <font color="#0000ff"><strong>As a warning, a lot of what "the knot" tells you is pure bunk.</strong></font>  You don't NEED to have a guest book, or a flower girl, or any of that other stuff.  I remember getting a message about 2 months before my wedding that said that I had 337 tasks in the "past due" column!  This was the knot's check off list, which is OK to use as a guide, but don't think all that stuff is in stone.  I think the PP who stated that at the end the two of you will married, is the right way to look at this. 
    Posted by handfast4me[/QUOTE]

    So true, so true.  I take TK for what it is, a pure sales machine. <u>This</u> board is always good for reality checks, good laughs and mature hand-holding when real life overwhelms.  Good luck!
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    TobeSASTobeSAS member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks everyone! Taking the planning slow. It was funny but the night after I posted this, FI said lets figure out some wedding details. hehe. I do think it is becasue we are much "wiser" about the wedding and such a 2nd time around.

    Thanks Ladies!
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