Catholic Ceremony? Recommendations...

Re: Catholic Ceremony? Recommendations...

• Milsey32

  

  January 2012

  There are a lot of parishes in the "metro Detroit area" - are you specifically looking in Detroit? or a different city?

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• roffewoods

  

  January 2012

  Birmingham or Royal Oak area. 

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• Meegles4 member

  

  January 2012

  I can just guess, but I'd think you'll want to begin the process at the church where you're getting married. I'm finding that different churches and dioceses have different requirements for pre-cana. For example, my FI and I just have to meet with a mentor couple a few times leading up to the ceremony, while other brides have had to go to group-oriented workshops and seminars.
  
  So, first, you should pick a church and then ask what their requirements are. At that time you could ask if they would allow you to do your counseling at a church closer to home or if its required to go through their church.
  
  As far as WHICH church, I went to St. Mary's in Royal Oak (on Lafayette) for a couple years and liked it. I don't know if they have a deacon or if there's just a priest. I also don't know if you have to be a member. Many churches in this area require that you're a member of the parish in order to get married there. Also, I'm not sure that deacons travel outside of their church to marry a couple.
  
  My church marries non-members and we do have a deacon who will perform the ceremony as long as you're not having a full mass. However, it's in downtown Detroit and there is a fee you have to pay. If you're interested in the details, you can PM me.

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• rcj2rcd

  

  January 2012

  Hi our wedding was at Holy Name in Bham. That is our home church - I don't know if they marry non-members, though. It's probably best to first find a church that will marry non-members and then discuss with the priest the specifics of the ceremony if you are not looking for a full mass. Maybe try first with the church you or your family attended (if you received sacraments there and have a history with that church, they may be more willing to work with you). Just a thought - not sure if it will work.

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• RunsWithBears member

  

  January 2012

  So I'm sort of in a similar situation in that I'm getting married in a Catholic church in Michigan, but my FI and I live in Virginia.  You'll first need to pick the church you want to get married in and talk to the priest there (a good starting point here would be to find somewhere close to your venue or one that your family attends).  I'm not sure what your reasons are for needing a deacon specifically, but some priests are more liberal than others and it might not matter that you don't believe exactly everything the Catholic church does.  You can also ask the priest for recommendations and see if deacons or other priests outside the parish are allowed to come in to marry you.
  
  Once you meet with the priest, you'll have to ask what are his requirements to marry you.  As PP said, different priests have different requirements.  Then you can decide where you want to do your marriage prep.  You can either do it with the priest that will marry you or another one in Traverse City - basically whichever is more comfortable and convenient for you and your FI.
  
  It is important to note that some churches will require you to be a registered member before they will prep you - mine requires that you are a member for at least 3 months before you can start marriage prep..  It seems like most churches will marry non-members, but it might cost a bit extra.  If you have family members that are registered members, that's also ok.  I'm not a member of the church I'm getting married at, but my parents are so we can get married there.
  
  

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• roffewoods

  

  January 2012

  Thanks for the suggestions.  We like the idea of a deacon because we both find it hard to take marriage advice from a man who has never been married.  

  
  

  I enjoy St. Mary's!  I will definitely contact them as well as Holy Name.  We are looking at having the reception in Bham, so that would work well.  His parents belong to a church in Rochester Hills, so that could work if needed.

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• emarston1 member

  

  January 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_catholic-ceremony-recommendations?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:88Discussion:895c8ad5-d14c-4050-94f0-e887fcd6d862Post:d5257c16-55bc-4e92-b1bc-dd6150c45198">Re: Catholic Ceremony? Recommendations...</a>:
  [QUOTE]Thanks for the suggestions.  <strong>We like the idea of a deacon because we both find it hard to take marriage advice from a man who has never been married.</strong>  I enjoy St. Mary's!  I will definitely contact them as well as Holy Name.  We are looking at having the reception in Bham, so that would work well.  His parents belong to a church in Rochester Hills, so that could work if needed.
  Posted by roffewoods[/QUOTE]
  
  I find this to be a very interesting statement and I'm curious about it.  So do you think you could not get good advice from a Priest?  Because honestly the basic concept of premarriage counseling is communication and compromise and you don't have to be married to understand these concepts.  Our Priest gave us the absolute best advice I've received from any source so I wouldn't be quick to exclude them just because they haven't been married before.  Just my two cents :)

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• Meegles4 member

  

  January 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_catholic-ceremony-recommendations?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:88Discussion:895c8ad5-d14c-4050-94f0-e887fcd6d862Post:d5257c16-55bc-4e92-b1bc-dd6150c45198">Re: Catholic Ceremony? Recommendations...</a>:
  [QUOTE]Thanks for the suggestions.  <strong>We like the idea of a deacon because we both find it hard to take marriage advice from a man who has never been married.</strong>   I enjoy St. Mary's!  I will definitely contact them as well as Holy Name.  We are looking at having the reception in Bham, so that would work well.  His parents belong to a church in Rochester Hills, so that could work if needed.
  Posted by roffewoods[/QUOTE]
  
  I would add to Liz's comment that, depending on your counseling, you'll likely meet with or talk to married couples in the church. And I totally see where you're coming from and I would be hesitant to only receive advice from a priest for that reason. But, don't discount a church just because there's no deacon because, like I said, you'll hopefully have an opportunity to talk with married folks. And some priests are really cool and will give great advice in general that you might want to take advantage of.
  
  FWIW, our mentor couple is a man who spent 20 years as an ordained priest. His now-wife was a nun. They met, left the church, and married. Still very devout and practicing Catholics and have been married over 30 years. It's like we get the best of both worlds, which is kinda cool.

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• emarston1 member

  

  January 2012

  Meegles - you are going to have a PM in a second.

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