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No family from the Grooms side is coming to the Wedding!

matthewsaramatthewsara
in Connecticut
Hi there,

This is my first time posting. Just thought I would throw this out there to see if anyone could give me some advice. My fiance's whole family will not be attending the wedding. There are various reasons for this (having nothing to do with us as a couple). To keep things short, divorces and stepchildren and a lot of hurt feelings between many siblings has resulted in everyone saying "No thanks" to our wedding. It is hurtful that no one can put their feelings aside for even one day but I have come to accept this. I have always wanted the traditional wedding but I think it will seem odd with only my family there. I am just really confused on what I should do! Anyone care to give some advice? I appreciate any help. Thanks!
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Re: No family from the Grooms side is coming to the Wedding!

  • Agey310Agey310 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011

    First of all welcome and congrats on your engagement!

    As far as advice is concerned, I am not sure what kind of advice you are looking for. It seems to me that FI's side of the family does not want to come and there is probably not very much that you can do to change that. I would have your FI try to talk to these individuals to express how important it is to the both of you for them to attend. Beyond that your hands are tied. If, in fact, no one from FI's family attends then you both need to look around and celebrate with those who do attend.

    Good luck & happy planning

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  • kaburns1214kaburns1214 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think it is what is is.  The only people from my FI's family who will be attending are his parents and two sisters.  He had issues that I had "more people" but essentially accepted that he had invited everyone that he wanted to invite and that he would be surrounded by his friends on the day.

    To alleviate the "uneven sides" issue, we're going to suggest that people sit on both sides of the aisle regardless of with whom they are associated. 
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  • Vanessa630Vanessa630 member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Welcome! I'm sorry about your situation.

    How final are your plans? Have you already sent out invites and gotten this response or are you still in the planning stage? How big is your side of the family?

    My first thought is that a destination wedding might be kind of nice- it would be on the smaller side anyway, something for close friends and family. 

    Good luck with everything!
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  • christikaochristikao
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Welcome and congrats! You can still have a traditional wedding with a smaller guest list. It's unfortunate that people can't set aside their differences. I say if they don't want to go then it's their lost, it leave more room for you and your FI to invite friends. Just have all the friends sit at his side. You will be surrounded by people who truly love you not because they are obligated to be there. 
    _S9O0188 - Version 2_S9O0466 Anniversary Trash the Dress -Life/Food Blog
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  • singleMOH79singleMOH79
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    This is going to sound terrible, but I wish I could say the same right now. FH has a lot of family, and it is starting to cause a lot of drama with the guest list. At this point I am *hoping* that a lot of them say they can't make it.
    You will have a wonderful day no matter what, because you'll wind up married. That's all that counts. :]
    Anniversary
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Is you fi close to any of your family members?  You could help him get to know them better so that he feels like they are his family, too.
    You could try writing a note to his parents to let them know that it would mean a lot to the both of you for them to attend your wedding. Hopefully, they will change their minds before November.
                       
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  • weddingfairyctweddingfairyct member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Red Flag How long have you guys been together? If it hasn't been long I would postpone the wedding until you have been together longer. If you have been together a long time then have Fi ask that each parent attend either the ceremony/ reception or rehearsal because you want them to be there and so they are comfortable. What I worry about is what are you getting yourself into if a family can't set aside their differences for their child??  Feel free to send them a copy of this post!
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  • money savermoney saver
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    im sorry thats happened to you, if i was in your shoes i would say f**k them if someone cant get over themselves to attend the most important day of my life then dont come, i would have the time of my life with the people that truly love me and want to celebrate my day with me. I wouldnt postpone anything I would get married the date that i chose regardless of whos coming or not. I would continue with the plans and envite more friends not having his family around probably left more room for more of your friends and his or even that nice neighbor across the street. good luck
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