Small budget reception

jess9802 · September 2010

My FI and I are planning a small wedding for July 2011--approximately 42 guests, 10 of whom are children. We're on an extremely tight budget (maybe $2,000). I am trying to think of ways to have a great, fun wedding and to make all of these guests (mostly parents, siblings, and some very close friends and aunts/uncles) comfortable. The ceremony will be held in the rose garden of a local park. My future MIL has graciously opened her home to us for the reception. She has a beautifully landscaped yard with an in-ground pool and a pool house. I can borrow tables, chairs, china, etc. from the non-profit on whose board I serve. So we have to pay for my dress, my bouquet, decorations for the reception site, and the food.

I am afraid that our budget will allow only for cake and champagne and punch. Most websites suggest that a cake and champagne reception should be held in the afternoon when it won't overlap with a meal time. My original idea was to have the ceremony start at 7:30, with the reception starting at about 8:00. There are two reasons for this. First, in mid-July, the daytime temps can be very hot (95/100 degrees is not uncommon), but by the evening it's usually very pleasant. Second, 7:30 seems to be outside the normal dinner hour, and I think it would give our guests enough time to eat dinner beforehand.

Is this unreasonable or rude? Should I add some meat and cheese trays, fruit, etc.? Start the wedding later in the evening? I do not want our guests to have to work the day of the wedding or provide anything for us, so I've told my mom and my MIL no to the potluck suggestion. I just don't want guests to feel cheated if it's just cake with no appetizers or meal.

palmettogirl924 · September 2010

I think if you had the reception start about 8pm, most of your guests will have already eatten dinner beforehand. You could also look into some DIY desserts for a dessert bar and also have hot chocolate. If it were me (and I'm not sure that this is politically correct) I would definitly do a reception like this in the evening. A champagne toast and cake, maybe a few other desserts, would be perfect around 8. No need to get extra trays of cheese/meats. If you're just going to do desserts- stick with just that!!

ExpatPumpkin · September 2010

I think you should feed everyone. I'd spend half of your budget on food/alcohol.

Think outside of the box - call restaurants that cater and see what you can do for $20/adult and $10/kid. Spend the rest on beer, wine, and cake. You can get a nice cake at a grocery store and the alcohol at Sams/Costco. Skip the champagne - your guests would much prefer beer and wine.

What people are going to remember about your wedding is whether they were properly hosted. They won't care about the flowers and other decor if they aren't properly fed. Spend your money on what really matters: your guests' comfort.

Good luck

jess9802 · September 2010

Thanks for the responses. The backyard BBQ wouldn't be bad if we had someone to cook the food at the reception for us. But I don't want anyone missing out on the socializing and the party because they've been put to work. I was just telling my FI that I'm willing to spend several days before the wedding cooking and preparing food and decorating, but I really don't want to impose on anyone or ask them to do anything. My FI's BIL has offered to take our photos, and I feel bad enough about accepting that offer that I'll probably treat him and his wife to a nice dinner for their anniversary.

We've really cut costs everywhere else: no flowers (except for my bouquet, and I might grow the flowers in my garden), no DJ, no favors, etc. I'm lucky enough to have access to free chairs, tables, linens, and china. I'm just frustrated that even with all these free things the money doesn't go very far in terms of food. I feel caught between a rock and a hard place because so many people want to attend this wedding, and I'm already causing some hurt feelings by limiting the guest list.

ExpatPumpkin · September 2010

So what are you spending your money on? Surely if you reallocate your current cake and champagne budget you can feed everyone...

I agree that you don't want to put your family to work. But have you even explored your catering options?

You could have BBQ catered with servers for less than $1,000. Then you wouldn't have to worry about set up, serving, or clean up.

jess9802 · September 2010

In addition to the food, we still have to pay for my wedding dress/alterations (David's Bridal, here I come), wedding rings, and the decor for the reception site (twinkle lights, candles, paper lanterns). We're not taking a honeymoon, renting transportation, no wedding party, etc.

I've researched a lot of the catering options so far, but my FI and I decided fairly early on that the prices were probably beyond our ability to pay, and so we've been attempting a reception that we can afford while still being considerate of our guests.

ExpatPumpkin · September 2010

I understand that it's frustrating, but the point I'm trying to make is that with your budget you'll have to cut out the fluff and concentrate on the really important stuff. I can promise you that nice decor won't make up for empty stomachs, so I really think you should go back to the drawing board with your planning.

Instead of starting with twinkle lights, etc. you should start with food and drinks. Again, you should dedicate about half of your budget to this. Then do what you can with the rest.

My recommendations:

Food = $600
Drinks = $300
Cake = $100

Dress = $400
Rings = $400
Decor = $100

Misc. = $100

ETA: The reality is that you may not get the lighting or dress of your dreams, but you will have happy and properly-hosted guests.

You can do this! I recommend that you visit the Budget board for fantastic ideas. Good luck

trix1223 · September 2010

I'd start by skipping things like twinkle lights and champagne. Your guests won't care at all about the cuteness of twinkle lights if they're hungry.

And in my experience, most people don't actually like champagne all that much. They'd be just as happy with beer, wine, and soft drinks.

Check with local caterers and see about costs for a BBQ type meal. You might be surprised to see that you can do this for less than you're expecting. I don't know how prices are in Oregon, but I live in NJ (ridiculously expensive) and could feed 42 people for $600 by using some of our local caterers.

In fact, I did for our son's and DIL's RD. We had a backyard BBQ for about 45 guests, and I had way more food than we ended up needing.

Also, don't discount asking people for help. Many people would love to help out by making a tray of food, or a salad, or a dessert for you.

GL

sister2groom · September 2010

http://2000dollarwedding.com/

http://www.younghouselove.com/wedding-album/

Also with only 42, you might be able to fit enough casserole in a standard oven.

Loloi2 · September 2010

I would not do the food yourself, unless you are doing something VERY simple like sandwich platters, veggie platters, cheese, fruit etc. We did the food ourselves, and even though it was a pasta bar with three sauces, and app platters, it was A LOT more stressfull than we thought it would be. You could do something like get small rolls from Costco, sliced meats and cheeses from a deli and roll them yourselves and put them on platters, then have cut up veggies and fruit platters. This is one of the most economical things I have done and seen done at most parties and informal weddings, and it was also the least stressful. Good luck and dont over think things. Just make sure no one starves, and that they all HAVE FUN, including yourselves. That is the most important thing!!

jess9802 · September 2010

Lorri, your idea is more along the lines of what I was thinking for light apps in addition to the cake: sliced meats, cheeses, fruit, veggies, deviled eggs, that sort of thing. My cousin served similar fare at her wedding, which was a dinner cruise in Seattle, and it seemed to satisfy everyone.

I've looked at most of the catering companies around town, and the prices for meals usually start at $23+. There is one local company that does BBQ, but the food just isn't that good and I'm not a big fan of BBQ. In general, I've always been underwhelmed with wedding meals and the catering options in this city, and I am having a hard time dropping a lot of money on food that won't taste that great.

Thanks again to everyone for your advice. Much appreciated!

tenofcups4me · September 2010

Dh and I throw a New Year's Eve party every year and have about that number of people. For a few hundred dollars, you can serve a lot of good appetizers that will be far more interesting than sandwiches or plates of cheese. I wouldn't try to cater something like this if you're trying to keep expenses down, but instead hit up a Costco and buy things in bulk that don't need any further preparation. If you want to eliminate all time in the kitchen that day, don't buy anything that needs to be heated.

Just a few ideas: platters of sushi, fresh shrimp on ice, hummus with small sea salt pita chips surrounding it, they sell large bins of small mozzarella circles -- add some basil and fresh tomatoes and serve near fresh bread or large garlic chips, trays of cheese and crackers, a few dips and fresh vegetables, and a few dessert type things like their frozen cream puffs -- top with powdered sugar and sprinkle with chocolate sauce (the kind you use for chocolate milk).

If anyone wants to spend any time in the kitchen, they also have a lot of good pre-made apps that can have to be heated, but that does take time and you might not want to deal with that.

I'd buy a few bottles of inexpensive champagne for a toast -- maybe 4 or so. And then red and white wine, and beer and sodas.

There you go -- a few hundred dollars, virtually no work, and a lot nicer than just cake and punch.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · September 2010

I agree about the costco apps and trays. And cake! You can certainly feed people cheaply with that. Cold cuts or sandwich platters, fruit and veggie trays, cakes, chips with salsa and guacamole, pita and hummus, a big green salad, and maybe a few other prepared cold dishes will go a long way. Or just stick to dessert, but do a variety of different desserts. I think 7:30 is just fine for a non-meal reception, but that doesn't mean no food.

Are you getting twinkle lights because there's not enough lighting? I think there are probably other options.

David's usually has a $99 sale. Some brides here have gotten their dresses at that time. Also, consider getting a BM dress in white. David's usually charges a LOT for alterations, so shop around and ask on your local for recommendations.

AbbeyS2011 · September 2010

Skip the twinkle lights or borrow them from family members - just ask them to tape their names on their at the end of the cords. Try Oriental Trading or Dollar Tree for paper lanterns, or advertise on Craigslist for slightly used wedding decor - you can get alot for cheap from a recent bride.

Why are you so afraid to ask someone to help you with your wedding? The suggestions for a simple BBQ with burgers/hot dogs sounds great! I have seen pics on here of weddings were they did BBQ and has the FOB cooking for everyone - having a great time! The bride made all her cooks special aprons - they shared duties so no one person was "stuck working" at the grill the entire time.

You said you are willing to cook/bake/prep for several days before YOUR wedding? Sorry to say this, but you are nuts! You will have enough to worry about. Delegate the food to your moms/dads that want to help - you will thank them when it is all over.

Dont ever "feel bad" because someone is offering to make your special day easier for you and blessing you with a gift!(photography)

You really are overthinking this - you are so worried about overburdening everyone in your family that you are actually overburdening yourself.

jess9802 · September 2010

I think my reluctance in asking for help, especially with the big stuff like cooking, is that I have helped at enough weddings, and I do it because it makes the bride's day easier, but I've never enjoyed it and I always swore I wouldn't put my friends and family through it when I got married. It makes the day long, and it takes away from the enjoyment of the event. I firmly believe that we are hosting this party, it's not a huge party in terms of the number of guests, and I want everyone to be able to come to the wedding and the reception and just enjoy themselves.

Obviously I want our guests to be well-fed given the time of day. I want them to relax, socialize, and have a nice time, even if it's a low-key wedding. Selfishly, I don't want it to be like every other backyard BBQ my in-laws have during the summer. I do want the evening to stand apart, which is why I'm not crazy about the BBQ idea. As for the lighting, I want to set the right mood and make the ambiance of the backyard romantic and elegant and to play up how pretty it is, especially on a warm summer night.

nicleep · September 2010

I'm looking into lots of food options for my own tight budget wedding...pasta is an inexpensive (yet still classy) option. Don't go through a traditional cater (catering prices can kill a budget)- look into local restuarants who offer large portion options for catering (if you choose a full-service catering option most of the time that includes delivery, set up/clean up and waitstaff. This option is more expensive so see if some one is willing to pick up the food just before the reception and set it out).

If there is a Fazoli's around you definitely check them out.

Personally, I know feeding my guests is a priority (that and boozing them up lol). If it's not for you, than that's totally your call. I just wanted to post some tips I've come across while in the same budget predicament. HTH.

aerinpegadrak · September 2010

Ditto the Fazoli's suggestion; we got their catering for our RD, it was about $4/person. Many restaurants offer catering (either pickup of larger orders or full-service) at very reasonable prices.

There was a poll a little while back about what people value most at a reception. Overwhelmingly, the responses were food, booze, and music. Of over 300 respondents, not a single one chose decor. If I see that a bride has gone all out decorating but not given us enough food, you can bet I'm going to feel a little judgy and not inclined to stick around. Making sure your guests have fun should absolutely be your number one priority, and adequate food plays a huge role in that.

slubkin · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_small-budget-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:3b5f76be-57ab-4dc7-aca5-fa39edbe0bf4Post:b73997bd-dbcc-4338-829c-39be4012e127">Re: Small budget reception</a>:
[QUOTE]As for the lighting, I want to set the right mood and make the ambiance of the backyard romantic and elegant and to play up how pretty it is, especially on a warm summer night.
Posted by jess9802[/QUOTE]
Jess-

Go to Target or Walmart right after Christmas. They mark down holiday lighting to super cheap. I bought two sets of string lights for $1 each one year.

gwencortopassi · September 2010

I think a dessert buffet and champagne is classic, elegant, and way underdone. No one remembers the $100/head dinner I fed them at my wedding--it was all about the dessert buffet (half of which was provided by my amazing relatives) and the gourmet coffee bar. Since you're having a summer event, you can have an Italian soda bar, frappucinos, champagne mixers (different fruit purees to add to a sparkling wine--so elegant), and pick up some beer at Sam's Club to make the beer drinkers happy. Add a fruit and cheese platter, and no one would ever suspect your choices were based on your budget.

duchess80 · September 2010

Alcohol

Instead of doing champagne, have you thought of prosecco? It is an Italian Dry Sparkling Wine. You can order it by the case and it is alot cheaper than champagne and tastes great (does not taste cheap)!

Some wine and spirits stores will take returns on any unopened bottles of alcohol. You might want to look around and see if any places around you do this and if so I would recommend you have a server or host our wine for guests instead of having a bottle at the table. Normally with a bottle at the table guests will over pour their serving and end up forgetting about it - leaving wasted wine and $$. By having someone refilling as needed you waste less alcohol and save some money.

Also on the alcohol topic, a friend of mine made a sangria in one of those huge pitchers (please see links below for the images) and this saved her a lot of cash. You could also do a lemonade drink with vodka (purchase the vodka at Sam's Club or Costco) and save money. Give it a fun name and it can be your signature drink. At my friends wedding, most guests went for this sangria drink than the beer or the wine (she purchased the wine at a store which took back unopened bottles). I think the big bottle of vodka could cost around $30.00 - $35.00 (at least that is how much I see it go for here in Chicago.

http://www.worldmarket.com/product/index.jsp?productId=4054058

http://www.crateandbarrel.com/dining-and-entertaining/pitchers-decanters/cold-beverage-jar/s614397

Also is there a Trader Joe's in your area. They sell really good bottles of Spanish Red wine for $5.00 a piece! I have brought a few bottles to dinner parties and friends have always been impressed. Malbec's and Tempranillo are good grapes to go with. However if your wedding is in the summer and it's hot out I think most would go for white, beer or a signature drink on ice. Trader Joes is also known for their three buck chuck - if you are embarassed by the label, you can steam it off of the bottle - remove the label, and glue your own label with your names and date. I've done this before and it adds a nice touch without your guests knowing that you've paid $3.00 a bottle!

Food

I also agree with most of the other posts regarding Costco and Sam's Club. It is the best option and I've seen this done for many nice events in Chicago. They supply trays of sushi, cheese, meats and crackers.

You could make your own cucakes ahead of time. Or cheesecakes - deserts that can be chilled. Actually I feel like everyone is doing cupcakes and they are inexpensive and look classy! You could even draw your monogram on the top if you have the time.

Lighting

Not sure if you have an IKEA close by to where you live, but they sell tealight candles for $3.99 for like 100 candles (I bought a bag that lasted over 5 years) and sometimes they have different colors. You could use those along with some white Christmas lights (which you could reuse for the Holidays, or ask to borrow some. You can even put the lights under the tablecloth which softens the look.

http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/50097995

Instead of buying individual holders for the tealights you could find a big platter, place the tea lights on the platter, find some stones or peebles from a pond or lake and place the peebles or stones around the candles.

Flowers

Costco has lovely arrangements for about $14.99 each. I have purchased them in the past and people who come over to my house have always been impressed and can't believe how great they look! They also sell lovely arrangements of roses too!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wsRvIzC8M6s&feature=related

I hope this information helps. I am also doing a budget wedding so I totally understand where you are coming from. I have also worked in the catering business in the past, so I have learned a few tips and tricks. If I can remember anything else I will be sure to repost, pass it along to you.

There are also many blogs around the internet with fantastic information on how to save money without looking cheap. Here is a list I found with good resources.

http://bridetide.blogspot.com/2009/03/top-100-wedding-blogs-and-twitters-to.html

This blog has good DIY information.

http://www.nonpareilmag.com/

I also agree with the other poster about YoungHouseLove - really inspirational!

duchess80 · September 2010

Wait I have more information to share!!!!

I would also agree with most of the posters that decorations aren't that big of deal - most people don't remember the decorations. If you are really concerned with the deocrations you could put flower petals on the tables ... or make something handmade.

If you go the muffin / cupcake route - these are by far one of the BEST!

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/giada-de-laurentiis/banana-muffins-with-mascarpone-cream-frosting-recipe2/index.html

Here is a great blog I was looking though yesterday for some inspiration.

Budget Beautiful
http://www.stylemepretty.com/category/real-weddings/budget-beautiful/

Invites
Target sells nice sets that look like letterpress and all you would need to do is print your names and information on them. I think they start at $25 - $30 a pack.

Dress
There are a lot of great dresses on Ebay, or you could check out Nordstrom, JC Penny, Macy's, second hand stores, JCrew, The Limited, Ann Taylor... The nice thing is many of these stores sell very nice dresses. I have a cousin who was married in Utah and bought her dress for under 300 at Nordstrom. It was very nice and perfect for hot weather.

Flowers Part Two

This would be a nice touch too since you mentioned decorations. I think it would look very nice!

Flower Centerpieces for $129.00 for a 9 pack with shipping included!

http://www.costco.com/Browse/Product.aspx?Prodid=11503352&whse=BC&Ne=4000000&eCat=BC|62777|62788&N=4018715&Mo=54&pos=1&No=7&Nr=P_CatalogName:BC&cat=62788&Ns=P_Price|1||P_SignDesc1&lang=en-US&Sp=C&ec=BC-EC10612-Cat62777&topnav=

Since you are going with an outdoor reception at your MIL house I see lots of earthy, summer type foods and styles. That is why I mentioned the peebles on a platter with tealights. Maybe you could set up a table with old vintage photos of your family members with candles or lights underneath the tablecloth. I found this image yesterday from a blog - I think it was 100 layer cake- not for certain though - but you can buy burlap (very cheap) and have it as a runner. You can grab some stems and place them on the table as decorations....

There are so many creative routes you can go with this! Your event sounds like a fun pr oject and I wish you the best!

duchess80 · September 2010

Sorry, for some reason the image is not showing up in the feed
Here is the website with the image - notice the burlap runner and twigs and such.
This website has lots of great inspiration!

http://100layercake.com/blog/archives/category/real-weddings/page/2

jess9802 · September 2010

Thank you all for the great suggestions! We do have a Costco and Trader Joe's here in town, and there's an IKEA a couple of hours away. So I'll be able to get the beer, wine, sparkling wine/champagne, and a lot of the food and decorations relatively inexpensively.

I've posted pictures of my MIL's backyard in my profile so you can get a sense of the space I'm working with.

My FI thinks I'm stressing about all of this too much, and so I'm just going to keep my eyes open for good bargains on decor (candles, white Christmas lights, etc.) and probably start stocking up on beer and wine.

ellyclemmons · September 2010

I have not read all of the responses, there are so many!, but I simply wanted to pass along an article of a young couple from my town who got married with a similar budget and did a fantastic job:

http://www.signonsandiego.com/uniontrib/20080601/news_1c01wowm.html

and also just say that although guests want to be "guests" they are also there to love and support YOU! I would emphasize in a nice way that you are having a dessert/appetizer reception, implying that they are to have eaten beforehand. There is a lot that you can communicate with notes, phone calls and emails including the fact that you still care strongly for those who are not invited...

All the best! and breathe deeply.

Small budget reception

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