s/o hmo's "these people"

TheDuckis · June 2010

Actually, it was 6 that made me think of this.

You have one child. A relative passes a way and provides a sizeable inheritance for that child. Later, you have another child.

~~Busy.~~ · June 2010

Legally do you even have a choice? I'd save more for child 2, since I don't have to worry about child 1..

baconsmom · June 2010

Do nothing. Life isn't fair. Life isn't equal. Learning that lesson prepares people for self-reliant adulthood better than any amount of money.

hmonkey · June 2010

it depends on the structure of the inheritance.

ideally, i would be able to control the dispersal; i don't want any kid getting a huge sum on their 18th birthday, and even more importantly, i don't want any kid to know how much money they have or are getting.

i would save more for kid #2, but they are both going to have jobs.

TheDuckis · June 2010

I guess legally it depends on if it's a trust fund or just a lump of cash.

For me, I know that my grandparents would intend each of their great grandchildren to be equally provided for, regardless of which ones are living at the time of my grandparents' deaths, so I'd probably split it.

I don't think it's fair for parents to save money for one child and not the other, regardless of how much one might have from other sources.

6fsn · June 2010

I guess I would hope Kid A would share with kid B since I don't think you can do anything legally. I'd be trying to save for #2 though. I'd like to be somewhat equal with my kids, but fairness is definitely better.

My parents paid the portion of our undergrads we couldn't afford. Bro 2 had a full ride. I worked summer jobs, paid internships etc and had scholarships. My sister worked one summer at Petland. I can gaurantee that put out more money for her education than anyone else.

It doesn't bother me, but I know my sister is still mad I got a car and she had two share 2 cars with our 2 brothers. An $800 Chevy Citation that she drove for two years still p!sses her off.

TheDuckis · June 2010

We grew up knowing nothing about each others' financial situations. I don't think any of us ever got more than any others from one source, but if it happened I'd have no way of knowing.

My grandparents did provide my two brothers and me with gifts to help us buy our first homes, and they paid for my wedding dress. I know they intend to do the same for each of their grandchildren, and I assume when it comes to it my siblings and cousins who don't own property or aren't married will see the difference in their inheritances.

6fsn · June 2010

FIL has included in his will that 6let gets his 401k from Lowe's. It's enough to pay for a year of school now so not a piddly amount. I believe FIL is doing this because of the major dollars he's given to BIL and DH's step sisters.

Our will states that 6let doesn't get money until he's 25.

tldh · June 2010

Legally, only those who are alive or in utero when the relative passes away can inherit the money if you are talking about a gift to a class (eg - grandchildren). Even if you (and not the probate court) controlled the dispersal, you can only disperse to the one named; you can't divert it to another child or you will be getting to know the district attorney and possibly the inside of a jail cell very well.

If there is a licensed estates and trusts attorney out there, please speak up. My knowledge is coming from studying for the bar right now - and should in no way be construed as legal advise.

baconsmom · June 2010

Also, what's to say that kid 2 will have "far fewer resources"? What if kid 2 turns out to be some sort of super genius or writes a bestseller at 15 or something? I know my first brother is a lot smarter than I am, and got a free ride for mechanical engineering. If I'd had an inheritance, why would I have shared it with him, when his brain more than compensated for that?

hmonkey · June 2010

dear theoretical lawyer:

do not tell me what i can do what the theoretical inheritance given to my theoretical kids by my not-yet-dead parents and relatives. laws can be changed, and money can be hidden in foreign accounts and mattresses. i will write my congressperson to change laws and open caribbean accounts.

keep your laws off my body,
hmo

Butter Cookie · June 2010

I would (1) not discuss a large inheritance with my child. The $$ would most likely be kept from them until they were of age to receive it and I felt they were responsible enough to accept it.

(2) if it weren't illegal I would split the inheritance between my children. It would not be a discussion.

zsazsa-stl · June 2010

We just wrote wills and the language says "living children of so and so" rather than listing specific names.

TheDuckis · June 2010

Probably some people should learn how to spell adviCe before they take the bar exam.

Lauriac · June 2010

I'd do nothing. If I have the resources (and if I have children) I'd save equally for each child. What other people leave to them is none of my business. However, I would prefer if they waited until my kids were older (~25) to be made aware of the inheritance.

This won't be a huge issue in my family because all of my relatives are in ridiculous amounts of debt and there will be nothing to inherit.

tldh · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_hmos-people?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:38298cdb-657c-4c4d-b57a-9a067988a62aPost:6d3c79ff-0869-435f-bf4a-0ccb9075860c">Re: s/o hmo's "these people"</a>:
[QUOTE]Probably some people should learn how to spell adviCe before they take the bar exam.
Posted by TheDuckis[/QUOTE]

My humblest apologies for a typo.

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