We are planning a destination wedding at a beach in our home state (therefore, ALL wedding guests would be "out of town" guests). My FI's father is paying for the rehearsal dinner and the place where we are having it can only accommodate up to 50 people. My FI and I both come from large extended families so I thought we would only invite wedding party, their significant others, and immediate family (parents, sibllings, grandparents) to the dinner. Well....my FI's father wants to invite ALL of their extended family from NY to the rehearsal dinner (aunts, uncles, cousins, second cousins, etc). They are Italian and I understand that this is the expected tradition/etiquette. However, I don't know what to do because my mother is 1 of 7 children and my dad is 1 of 3 children...I'm not going to do the math, but that is a LOT of aunts, uncles, and cousins on my side. I obviously can't invite them all, but I also can't invite some and not others. Since his dad is paying for the dinner, I understand that he should be able to invite anyone he wants, but I don't think it's fair that my FI's entire extended family is invited, but I basically only get to invite my immediate family. I'm just afraid that my family is going to feel slighted when they realize what is going on.
Am I being overly sensitive or do you guys think this is ok? Any suggestions on how to handle the issue?
Thanks!