this is the code for the render ad
Wedding Woes

FI wants to invite a girl I don't like...

So... originally FI and I decided we were going to invite 200 people.  Not 299, not 201... 200.  As FI and I made our individual lists, he went a little over.  I let one or two extra people slide... then it was 105.  Now he said he really wanted to add 4 more people.  One woman and her husband I don't mind inviting (she is helping a group of women from his church throw me a shower).  One of the new people on his list is a girl who I really don't want to invite.  FI and I have been together for 4 years now.  Out of all of the people our age in his church, she is the ONLY one who has not tried to get to know me at all.  Some nights everyone will go out to dinner afterwards, and occasionally, she tags along.  A few times she sat across from us and talked to FI the entire time, and basically ignoring me.  FI and the girl are not close, so I really don't get why she needs to be invited.  There are other people from that group who aren't invited (because we aren't close with them), so it's not like she would be the only one not invited.  I talked to FI about it the other night and said I didn't really feel comfortable inviting her... but today when FI sent me the addresses from the additional people (which he made tonight) she was still on it.  I asked him last night if they were good friends and his response was no, but they used to be friends in high school (he graduated 5 years ago, and she is younger than us).  So it's not like I don't want to invite his best friend or anything.

It may seem like it's not a big deal to many, but I really don't want this girl to come.  How can I get FI to change his mind without saying, "I don't like her... she's not coming."  As we are already over our limit, I would rather not go over budget to invite someone I don't even want to come.  Sorry for the long rant, but I don't know what to do and it's driving me crazy.
Wedding Countdown Ticker

Re: FI wants to invite a girl I don't like...

  • TheDuckisTheDuckis member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    All I got out of all this is that you only graduated from high school 5 years ago.
  • Butter CookieButter Cookie member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    pp is right, and also, have you ever made an effort to get to know her? Maybe she's supremely shy, or doesn't know how to approach you, or thinks the perfume you wear smells bad, or heard from Joe who heard from Jenny who heard from Sam that you had ringworm.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • mkay7mkay7 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    No, she is definitely not shy, and yes, I have tried talking to her, but when I do she acts like she has someone better to be talking to.

    And I'm sorry, but what does my age have to do with anything?  The only reason why I put that FI graduated 5 years ago was because they haven't been good friends since then.  I am not inviting any of my best friends from high school because we aren't close anymore and we have limited seating.

    I'm not trying to be mean and make a big deal over one person, but we are really over our limit.  There were a lot more people that I could have invited, but didn't because I reached my limit.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Butter CookieButter Cookie member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Your age plays a part because the older you are (hopefully) the less you need outside sources to help you figure out situations like this.

    You're both adults. Talk to him. Explain you're over the limit. Be honest and move forward. If he takes this up as his cause that she simply *must* be invited then he's not worth the effort.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • mkay7mkay7 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    The reason why I asked was because I assumed that out of all the people who are on these message boards, someone would have been through something similar.  As I mentioned before, I have talked to my fiance, but obviously I'll talk to him again.  Last night I was a little annoyed and just needed to vent. :)
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Butter CookieButter Cookie member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We all have days like that. Our (mine and H's) argument was how many people he just had to invite. NONE of which came. What had been H-side-heavy turned into my-side-heavy because his family completely flaked.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • mkay7mkay7 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Oh wow.  As you can see, I'm having the opposite problem.  FI's mom has been pressuring him a lot with "Well, if you invite these people you must invite these people, or else their feelings will be hurt."  I heard that making your guest list is hard, but I didn't realize exactly how hard it is.  Oh well, I'm finally able to order my invitations this week.  Yay!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_fi-wants-invite-girl-dont-like?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:4d2ac0de-9be2-41f2-a14b-4d2b300527b9Post:2e5c2590-c665-4177-a2e3-7dcb5151b161">FI wants to invite a girl I don't like...</a>:
    [QUOTE] Some nights everyone will go out to dinner afterwards, and occasionally, she tags along.  A few times she sat across from us and talked to FI the entire time, and basically ignoring me. [/QUOTE]

    This stood out for me in your post.  Are you a little jealous of this girl?
    Does FI ignore you, too, when you are all out together?
     
    Maybe I'm reading into this way too much, but is there more to this story than just not liking someone your FI wants to invite?
  • baconsmombaconsmom member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_fi-wants-invite-girl-dont-like?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:4d2ac0de-9be2-41f2-a14b-4d2b300527b9Post:2e5c2590-c665-4177-a2e3-7dcb5151b161">FI wants to invite a girl I don't like...</a>:
    [QUOTE]So... originally FI and I decided we were going to invite 200 people.  Not 299, not 201... 200.  As FI and I made our individual lists, he went a little over.  I let one or two extra people slide... then it was 105.  Now he said he really wanted to add 4 more people.  <strong>One woman and her husband I don't mind inviting (she is helping a group of women from his church throw me a shower).</strong> <div>
    </div><div> One of the new people on his list is a girl who I really don't want to invite.  FI and I have been together for 4 years now.  Out of all of the people our age in his church, she is the ONLY one who has not tried to get to know me at all.  Some nights everyone will go out to dinner afterwards, and occasionally, she tags along.  A few times she sat across from us and talked to FI the entire time, and basically ignoring me.  FI and the girl are not close, so I really don't get why she needs to be invited.  There are other people from that group who aren't invited (because we aren't close with them), so it's not like she would be the only one not invited. </div><div>
    </div><div> I talked to FI about it the other night and said I didn't really feel comfortable inviting her... but today when FI sent me the addresses from the additional people (which he made tonight) she was still on it.  I asked him last night if they were good friends and his response was no, but they used to be friends<strong> in high school (he graduated 5 years ago, </strong>and she is younger than us).  So it's not like I don't want to invite his best friend or anything.</div><div>
    </div><div> It may seem like it's not a big deal to many, but I really don't want this girl to come.  How can I get FI to change his mind without saying, "I don't like her... she's not coming."  As we are already over our limit, I would rather not go over budget to invite someone I don't even want to come.  Sorry for the long rant, but I don't know what to do and it's driving me crazy.
    Posted by mkay7[/QUOTE]

    </div><div>I'm just going to leave this here. Yikes. </div>
    image
  • ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    So he wants to stretch the budget to invite a woman he isn't friends with, who makes your radar go off like crazy.

    You think he kinda likes her, don't you?
    image
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards