Parent Gifts?

udream05 · August 2012

What's the rule on parent gifts? I bought my parents a nice bottle of wine when I was in Napa and was going to give it to them at some point around the wedding time but wasn't sure if I need to get his parents anything. My parents will be contributing to the wedding but we're paying for the majority of it, his parents won't be. He also has two sets, his parents are divorced. His mom has helped a little with my DIY stuff, his dad lives in another stay with his stepmom and hasn't been involved at all. We will be paying for his mom's hair and makeup as well as my mom's. Thank you!

mmmendi · August 2012

I cannot weigh in at all. My parents contributed to my dress and flowers, his not at all. However, he is practically estranged (I have not even met his parents and we meet his ex there every other week to give her child support!). We are older, second weddings for each of us, so I feel it may be a bit different overall. My family knows how strapped we are, I will write lengthy thank you's, and purchased bracelets for my Mother and sisters for their contributions.

tamrahelmer · August 2012

Our parents are all over the place in helping out with the wedding as well, but I want to make sure they all receive the same gift at the rehearsal dinner. For now we have gotten each set of parents a nice frame with an e-pic in it and a gift card to their favorite restaurant.

I figured I will get nicer presents around christmas for the parents who helped out more and make an extra thank you note then saying how thankful I am for everything they did for us this year.

ericaandtom2012 · August 2012

The gifts for the parents are supposed to be "thanks for paying/helping with the wedding", they should be "thanks for putting in all the time and effort to raise me". Does your FI have any ideas of what to get them? A typical gift, usually given after the wedding, is an album of photos or a frame that can be used for pro pics from the wedding. Plenty of people personalize the gifts too. I do think you should get each set something, even if it is small (GC to a favorite restaurant for a date night). Heartfelt cards are always a good thing too. Talk to your FI, he should be leading the charge for his parent gifts, even if it does take a bit of prodding from you to get ideas.

udream05 · August 2012

So if I just give a nice card now and a beautiful photo album afterwards that would be ok? His dad also didn't have much of an involvment raising him (which is a sore subject at times) so I think it's hard to try and decide if I want to give gifts in front of everyone because I think I'd prefer to just give them to his mom and my parents.

Mandie_hunnybear · August 2012

We got our parent gifts asore of a."thanks for raising us" kinda thing. We got oir moms matching sivler and diamond "mom" necklaces and our fathers each a set.of cufflinks to fit their personalities and a personalized embroidered hankerchief. All of our parents have helped with the wedding in some way though a.majority of the financial.responsibility is on us

ReyesToy · August 2012

I don't get the "thanks for raising us" meaning...because isn't that what Mother's Day and Father's Day are for? Maybe it used to have that meaning back when kids didn't move out and were never self-sufficient until they were married

I don't think you have to gift them all equally. Definitely acknowledge the parents that have helped you through this wedding process either financially or emotionally. I would give them all a card and thank them for their love and support just so no one feels left out, but give more to the people who have helped you. I like the wine idea for your parents, it shows you were really thinking of them. You're not obligated to pay for your FI's Mom's Hair and Makeup so that can be her present too.

Parent Gifts?

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