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A friend put this on facebook.

ggirl2001ggirl2001 member
Ninth Anniversary 2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
in Military Brides

I agree to not be a home-wrecker (obviously), but I disagree with putting the blame all on one person. Pretty sure a person can't be a "home-wrecker" unless the other person participates in it. It's kind of like when people blame "the other woman" but forget the guy had a part in it too. 

I would hope that a couple would have good enough communication that if something like this was going on (a person actively pursuing your SO), the couple would be able to handle it together and put a stop to it. 
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Re: A friend put this on facebook.

  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I'm with you.  Unless the 3rd person is just actively pursuing your SO, but your SO is 100% innocent and trying to fend the person off, then they are both to blame.  

    I completely understand being angry with the other person, especially if she knew that your SO was in a relationship or married, but the blame has to be on both people if something actually happened.  
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  • amh04amh04
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    GGirl - I agree completely, it takes two to tango.
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  • ggirl2001ggirl2001 member
    Ninth Anniversary 2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_friend-put-this-facebook?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:118e5bf9-c316-4dc5-8d85-29e661028ac7Post:5f080ec9-61da-4aa8-8b98-38bbcf1ced6a">Re: A friend put this on facebook.</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm with you.  Unless the 3rd person is just actively pursuing your SO, but your SO is 100% innocent and trying to fend the person off, then they are both to blame.  <strong> I completely understand being angry with the other person, especially if she knew that your SO was in a relationship or married, but the blame has to be on both people if something actually happened.  </strong>
    Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>This, I would be pissed off and angry at both of them, not just the girl. That just never made sense to me, and yet there are people who just blame the pursuer.  </div><div>
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  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    A lot of times people only blame the pursuer because it's easier to blame them than think your SO would willingly do that to them.
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  • IrishcurlsIrishcurls member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_friend-put-this-facebook?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:118e5bf9-c316-4dc5-8d85-29e661028ac7Post:14d37bc2-31b2-48f3-8615-6f96ae91f3bc">Re: A friend put this on facebook.</a>:
    [QUOTE]A lot of times people only blame the pursuer because it's easier to blame them than think your SO would willingly do that to them.
    Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]
    Yup, totally agree!
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  • shan87shan87
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I would be irate at both parties equally. I would probably be more disappointed in my H then some other woman.
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  • DarrahDooDarrahDoo
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    n Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_friend-put-this-facebook?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:118e5bf9-c316-4dc5-8d85-29e661028ac7Post:0c151b6f-a125-4dcd-ba37-dfcd5a637391">Re: A friend put this on facebook.</a>:
    [QUOTE]GGirl - I agree completely, it takes two to tango.
    Posted by amh04[/QUOTE]

    I totally agree!  If two people aren't tangoing (is that a word?) then at that point it is just stalking, not home wrecking!
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  • crownsuperstarcrownsuperstar member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_friend-put-this-facebook?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:118e5bf9-c316-4dc5-8d85-29e661028ac7Post:37b3514a-47ee-4d32-9438-982de17f30a8">Re: A friend put this on facebook.</a>:
    [QUOTE]I would be irate at both parties equally. I would probably be more disappointed in my H then some other woman.
    Posted by shan87[/QUOTE]

    Ditto to this!

    ETA: I forgot to add. But don't get me wrong, I would want to punch both of them in the throat!
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  • kara811kara811 member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_friend-put-this-facebook?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:118e5bf9-c316-4dc5-8d85-29e661028ac7Post:0c151b6f-a125-4dcd-ba37-dfcd5a637391">Re: A friend put this on facebook.</a>:
    [QUOTE]GGirl - I agree completely, it takes two to tango.
    Posted by amh04[/QUOTE]

    <div>You took the words right out of my mouth. This is what exactly what I was going to say when I first read it. </div><div>
    </div><div>Like Shan, I would be livid with my H more than the other woman. </div>
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  • ZimsgirlZimsgirl
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Completely agree with you GGirl
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  • SamiJoeBSamiJoeB
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_friend-put-this-facebook?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:118e5bf9-c316-4dc5-8d85-29e661028ac7Post:061652ea-2a34-4e8e-90cc-7b480c8f48de">Re: A friend put this on facebook.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: A friend put this on facebook. : Ditto to this! ETA: <strong>I forgot to add. But don't get me wrong, I would want to punch both of them in the throat!</strong>
    Posted by crownsuperstar[/QUOTE]

    This would probably be the only time I'm down to commit some Domestic Violence!! 
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  • Danidawn20Danidawn20
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I agree with Snad and ggirl. 
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  • tylerandjeniatylerandjenia
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I would have to be way more upset with my H. This other woman never took vows in front of our family and friends. Don't get me wrong, I would still whoop her tail, but H would be in way more trouble! One of my friends was dating a guy and things were going great. She was talking to a friend one day and she mentioned his name, she said something along the lines of "You are okay with him being married?" My friend was so floored, because he never mentioned anything about the wife!
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  • hakeefer1hakeefer1 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    A friend of mine slept with a drunk, engaged, coworker.  He doesn't understand why that upsets me, says he wasn't the one in the relationship...but he knew that she was.  I'd give 40% to the friend and 60% of the responsiblity to the engaged woman.
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