Hi everyone! and Questions :o)

Re: Hi everyone! and Questions :o)

• meredithl618 member

  

  August 2010 edited December 2011

  Good morning! 

  
  

  1. Yes, you should call them.  Your RSVP date is probably coming up soon, so you can just tell them you wanted to make sure they received the invite because you've heard that some people had trouble getting theirs.  Have your family/FI help you out with this, so you can split up the list.  You could send out the extra invitations if you wanted to, but thats up to you.

  
  

  2.  Where/when are you planning on giving gifts to your BMs and helpers?  If your FSIL will be there, and kind of participating in the festivities, then go ahead and make her one. But, if you just think she's going to feel left out, but isn't actually helping or doing anything WR, then I wouldn't worry about it.  You have enough to think about/do in the next few weeks, this isn't necessary.  

  
  

  
  

  
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• SassyPants150 member

  

  August 2010 edited December 2011

  I had a few people not receive our Save the Dates, and a couple who didn't receive the Invitation.  Different people of course.  I would go ahead and start calling...I don't see a problem in contacting our non-responses to double check if they are coming or not.  If I estimate 4 over our amount that's $200 in F&B. 
  
  One of my best friends is getting married and her FSIL is crazy!  She made a comment out loud at the dinner table about being offended she wasn't in the wedding and she has talked to my friend maybe once or twice just saying a few words.  I'm all about eliminating stress.  I would write a super mushy note with your sisters about how much you appreciate everything she's done so that she may not feel that "Well she didn't do anything and got a gift...blah blah". 
  

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• FutureMrsFraser

  

  August 2010 edited December 2011

  Thanks ladies. I guess I should call them. I'll talk to my mom and FI about splitting up the list and calling the people we haven't heard from.
  
  Side note about the gift thing. I got my BMs monogrammed tote bags and beach towels and the painted wine glass and their jewelry for the wedding. I made the "wedding helpers" the wine glass and I'm also including a small bottle of wine (you know, those personal sized ones that come in a pack of 4) and I got my sister a big monogrammed beach tote and the wine glass with the mini wine bottle, because she's helped more than the rest of the wedding helpers.
  
  I really do think the only reason why she would be upset about it, is because she will feel left out if everyone gets a gift but her and FMIL thinks she should be included in everything, even though she's not in the wedding, and hasn't helped with anything thus far. She's planning on using our wedding weekend as a beach vacation with her family (which is fine, I have no problem with that at all) so I don't see her helping with the wedding set up or anything either.
  
  FI said she can get over it... and we are done catering to everyone, but I don't want to deal with drama the day of or after the wedding over a small gift.

  
  

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• pirategal03 member

  

  August 2010 edited December 2011

  1 - if your RSVP date has passed and you haven't heard from them, call them.  If your RSVP date hasn't passed, it's likely that they just haven't RSVP'd yet.
  
  2 - (I skimmed this part)  make it if you've got time. I'm sure you'd rather have it available if you decide to give something to her.  And yes, you're probably reading a lot into it.  The other people aren't going to know how much she helped you behind-the-scenes or in the past few months or whatever. 
  

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• CJ4578 member

  

  August 2010 edited December 2011

  I agree with Mary- on #2. It's so exhausting to cater to people, but if you have the time make an extra one just in case she does magically help with set-up or something.
  
  I'm terrified of the Postal Service... vibes that everyone else got their invites!
  

  -- C
  
  
  
  

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• ANSchick08

  

  August 2010 edited December 2011

  1-Wait until the RSVP date and then call, enlisting others to help if there are a lot of people.  If you call ahead of the date and the person actually got the invite and just hasn't responded yet, they might get annoyed.
  
  2-I wouldn't give her one because it's a gift to thank people for their help, not just to make people feel included.  But then again, DH's family has been incredibly rude and mean to me since we started dating (about 7.5 years ago), so I'm completely biased about ILs

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