Did you have any non-negotiables in your wedding planning?

ohwhynot · January 2010

I mean things like, even if your fiance, family members, etc., wanted them, you just wouldn't do? Did your fiance?

For me, the non-negotiables were no garter/bouquet toss and nothing resembling a dollar dance (eta - and NO showers even though we keep getting pressure about it from his family and NO registry even though we keep getting pressure about it). For my fiance, nothing cheesily romantic (or what he considers cheesy) like heart-shaped candle holders or the like.

aMrsin09 · January 2010

We would have a decent photographer and our restaurant would have linen table clothes and napkins.

The rule of thumb was, if we couldn't afford to an item properly, we weren't going to do it at all.

anna.oskar · January 2010

Me:
*no tosses
*no chicken dance
*no dollar dance

Him:
*no pink whatsoever
*no limos (he thinks it's the biggest waste of money)

MyNameIsNot · January 2010

This is a double negative, but I refused to not have a bar. When we were looking at venues, one of the main things we checked out was the bar packages.

JessAndTrav · January 2010

I had to have a good photographer.
No tosses or events that included handing us cash.

For DH, we pretty much had to use the color red.

For both of us, we really wanted to get married in December.

JessAndTrav · January 2010

Oh, another.

For things like invitations, they HAD to be nice. I chose an invite from a mass distributor and figured out how to make it myself. I was pleased with the outcome and the cost.

For our centerpieces, I didn't want to spend a lot of money, but refused to do a floating candle in a bowl. So I settled for ornaments in globes. (PIB) I bought the ornaments after Christmas and spent less than $100 on all of the centerpieces.

sgervais88 · January 2010

We haven't started planning yet, but we both agree that our reception will not be just finger food and punch, as many of the weddings we have attented have been. We want a meal.

polichik · January 2010

We wanted to feed our guests, provide alcohol, and not have them pay for anything.

Everything also needed to be a reasonable price... I have absolutely no problem haggling, which I did splendidly, if I do say so myself

Another non-negotiable was planning and doing just about everything ourselves. While I'm sure full-scacle wedding planners can be amazing, I wanted this to reflect us. Plus, we have a long enough engagement to allow for plenty of DIY.

Oh, and no garter toss, bouquet toss, cake smashing, mandatory WP dance, or drawn-out introductions.

fangsiting · January 2010

No aisle, no tosses, no limo, & no pocket invites.

banana468 · January 2010

We had to have an open bar.

The dollar dance didn't even come up in discussion but we did say that there would be NO group dances of any kind unless people somehow got on the floor in a circle.

Most of the things we really knew were important were just fine by anyone that they concerned.

JanoBean75 · January 2010

NO: Garter toss, bouquet toss, dollar dances, cash bar, registries of any kind, me in any variation of white or cream.

YES: full meal for our reception

Most of everything else we're pretty flexible on.

Brie2010 · January 2010

FI's non-negotiable was that he wanted ranunculus for the bouts. Weird.

My non-negotiables were no roses, no bad wedding food, and May. The only wedding thing I've always wanted was to get married in May. I have no idea why, but...May.

Brie2010 · January 2010

Oh, and no Last Supper style head table. I refuse to be gawked at while I eat and have the WP abandon their dates.

ExpatPumpkin · January 2010

Non-negotiable NO: head table, matching the groom/groomsmen to the BMs' dresses, that's all I can think of.

Non-negotiable YES: open bar, live music, ski resort during ski season...

SaraAndrew2010 · January 2010

The most important non-negotiable item for me was the church we're getting married at. My parents have been members of the parish since before I was born. I was baptized there, had my first communion there, was confirmed there, and attended the parish grade school for 10 years. So I would have paid any amount of money or rearranged our wedding date to get married there. Luckily it all worked out well and they were free the date we wanted.

For FI and his parents, a band (instead of DJ) and a full premium open bar (as opposed to beer and wine or well liquor) were must haves.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · January 2010

No tosses

No dollar dance (even though FI suggested it)

No chicken dance/macarena/hokey pokey

No chuck taylors on the men (FI doesn't even own any, and agrees with me).

Full open bar (ended up with beer, wine, well drinks)

Full vegetarian meal (FI also agrees with this)

October wedding date

Less than 100 people

Location was majorly negotiable. We looked everywhere! We considered doing ceremony and reception at the same place but eventually went with two different spots very close together.

brookelynpaisley · January 2010

Our non-negotiables were no traditional wedding music. It wouldn't have been us for me to walk down the aisle to Canon in D. We also had no desire to do tosses, and as it turned out, we only had 3 single people at our wedding, so it wasn't an issue anyway.

The non-negotiable that was truly adamant came from my parents. No matter who paid, they were absolutely against an open bar, so we compromised with a limited bar.

mandysmear · January 2010

Photography. Both my dad and his parents weren't happy with how much we spent on it, but I was not budging on it. They should be happy we went with the cheaper of two we fell in love with.

mags0607 · January 2010

-My non negotiable was that the wedding had to be in New Orleans. (I knew even before we got engaged, that he was fine with that.)
-His was that the colors scheme was black and white (compromised on ivory)
-My mom's were that we had to have a Catholic wedding, and a full open bar.
-No Dollar dance.

pooh8402 · January 2010

outdoors

good photography

actual meal

provide alcohol (it's just beer and wine, but it will be good beer and wine)

my dress had to be less than $300 pre alterations, post tax and S&H (note: this was MY non-negotiable, not my mom who is paying. I see no good reason to pay a bunch of money for a dress I'll wear once, maybe twice if I do a TTD.)

squirrly · January 2010

NOs: No dollar dance
          No chicken dance
          No flower girl or ring bearer

YESs: Open Bar
            Great photographer
            Ceremony and Reception at the same venue
            small bridal party

lyndausvi · January 2010

full premium open bar.

Oh and DH refused to have a buffet.

megandjay · January 2010

NO: garter/bouquet toss, group dances (esp the electric slide and marcarena)

Must haves: Band (Dad and FI), Windows at reception venue (me), Full Catholic Mass ceremony (both sets of parents)

Did you have any non-negotiables in your wedding planning?

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