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dates

davesgurl05davesgurl05
Seventh Anniversary First Comment
in Wedding Party
I need an opinions.. I'm on a wedding budget so i'm trying to keep my list down.. no kids are invited... i invited both of our first cousins brothers and sisters neice and nephews... our paretns nd grandparents brothes and sisters and then second and third cousins we started picking and choosing only who were close too.... so i invited my cousin and his wife but not his step-daughter... I'm only inviting plus ones to anyone in a serious relationship.. my bridesmaid and sister is single and wants to bring the step daughter and i told her no and she's mad.. but my thinking is one if i wanted my step cousin there i would have invited her and two why would you invtie some to a family wedding they weren't invited too...

am i right or wrong in my thinking.. or should i let her bring her as her date?
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Re: dates

  • beardownbchsbeardownbchs member
    500 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    If you give plus 1s to everyone, they can bring whoever they want. Doesn't have to be a "date". 

    Also, you need to extend invitaions to everyone in a relationship. Not a "serious" relationship, ANY relationship. Who are you to judge how serious a relationship is?
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  • davesgurl05davesgurl05
    Seventh Anniversary First Comment
    No i'm sorry i meant anyone in a relationship is getitng plus one.. but my question was in regards to the fact that if i didn't invite a cousin to the wedding i don't think my sister should be allowed to bring them as her date..
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  • beardownbchsbeardownbchs member
    500 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    If you're giving her a plus one, she can take anyone she wants. I was a plus one with my sister for a wedding a few weeks ago. You don't give people plus ones and then tell them who they can and cannot invite. Unless this person has abused you or stolen from you or something criminal, you really have no say. 
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  • davesgurl05davesgurl05
    Seventh Anniversary First Comment
    well no i wasn't given her a plus one cause she's single and she said she's a bridesmaid she should get one and she wants to bring our cousin.. and i said no if your not in a realtionship your not getting a plus one.
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  • beardownbchsbeardownbchs member
    500 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    That's your call. As far as I know, there is no rule that wedding party members must be given a plus one (Someone will come along and correct me if I am wrong). But - it is usually common courtesy to give the weding party a plus one. A lot of couples give their wedding party a plus one even if they do not do the same for their truely single guests.
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  • davesgurl05davesgurl05
    Seventh Anniversary First Comment
    thank you both.... i think i'm just going to stick to my plan and tell her if she's single no date...
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  • Kate61487Kate61487 member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited January 2013
    yup, you're in the clear.  You don't have to give your sister a plus one.  If she starts dating someone before the wedding he should be invited, but invitations shouldn't be transfereable.  You can help to discourage that by inviting everyone by name, rather than saying "and guest".  If you give someone an "and guest" they can bring whoever they want, even if it's someone you semi-intentionally left off the guest list.

    Is this step-cousin-once-removed a child or over 18?  If she's under 18 perhaps you can explain to your sister that since you're not inviting any children having the step-cousin there might cause drama.  Even if she is an adult you can try to explain to your sister that you didn't invite ANY cousins' children and as such you think it will make things awkward if cousin Jimmy sees that cousin Phil's kid was invited (even if she wasn't, it will appear she was) when his kid wasn't.  etc.?

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  • Simply FatedSimply Fated member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited January 2013
    Just don't invite them with a plus 1. I think it's weird and sometimes crappy to invite someone to a wedding as a plus 1 when they were purposely left off the list. Surely the stepdaughter wouldn't want to come where she wasn't invited, anyway?
    image
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  • brittany634brittany634 member
    500 Comments First Anniversary
    Is your sister close to this cousin? Maybe just invitemthat cousin if itsmimportant to your sister
    image
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  • davesgurl05davesgurl05
    Seventh Anniversary First Comment
    I think it's weird and sometimes crappy to invite someone to a wedding as a plus 1 when they were purposely left off the list. Surely the stepdaughter wouldn't want to come where she wasn't invited, anyway?

    That's exactly my thought it's crappy of my sister to want to invite her because she's gonna feel crappy she wasn't invited by me,.. she's like a distant step cousin.. her step father is my second cousin....

    Well i think i'm going to leave her off the invite list like i planned and send my sister a no guest invite and if she don't like it she don't have to be a bridesmaid...
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