how should I deal with people that "assume" they're invited to my wedding?

Re: how should I deal with people that "assume" they're invited to my wedding?

• Stina51286 member

  

  November 2011 edited December 2011

  NO that is a friend ending move. She does not have to be involved in the shower, its not an obligation. She would then just not be considered a host. Maybe theres other ways she can contribute, (making a bunch of food, etc.) Times are tough and maybe there is something more to it then you know and maybe just sit down and talk to her and but don't ask her to step down.

   

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• CowgirlK39 member

  

  November 2011 edited December 2011

  Do not speak to these people about your wedding plans anymore. If someone insists that they be able to pay to attend, then tell them there is a limited space, and it is the wishes of your family that this remain a small wedding. But the less you speak of it, the less likely someone will try to butt in.

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• Stina51286 member

  

  November 2011 edited December 2011

  Did you change your original post?

   

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• tldh member

  

  November 2011 edited December 2011

  Don't bring it up.  If they do, repeat that it is going to be a small wedding and then change the subject.  If they keep bringing it up, change the subject.  If they offer to pay their own way, simply say that it is not a budget issue and immediately change the subject.  It takes two to have a conversation.
  
  A problem may be that you are telling them "close family and friends."  You're telling them that if they don't get an invite, they are not close enough to you to warrant one.

  
  AKA GoodLuckBear14

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• tldh member

  

  November 2011 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_can-ask-briesmaid-back-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:660fa2aa-f05e-4814-8837-2442ab0dcca3Post:62c42fb1-6dc7-41d9-98b5-6b4f90d75ecd">Re: how should I deal with people that "assume" they're invited to my wedding?</a>:
  [QUOTE]Did you change your original post?
  Posted by Stina51286[/QUOTE]
  
  Probably not.  TK gets wonky sometimes and  puts responses in the wrong thread.

  
  AKA GoodLuckBear14

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• headymay

  

  November 2011 edited December 2011

  My fiancee works in a warehouse with almost 100 people and it seems that alot of his co-workers are the ones assuming they are invited.  We decided it wouldnt be fair to pick and choose which can be invited so we decided not to invite any co-workers from his job or my job.  But there still has been a few people saying they will pay their own way and that they won't tell the other people they're going to our wedding.  I think its weird and creepy that they are that desperate to be practically begging us to go...even though we've explained no co-workers on the guest list. 

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• Kate61487 member

  

  November 2011 edited December 2011

  limit wedding talk, stopp using the "close friends" excuse (like PP said it just makes them more aware that they're not close). 
  
  I'd go with "we're keeping it small" and "I'll be happy to share the pictures with you!"

  

   
  

   Married Bio

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• ichellemay1

  

  November 2011 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_can-ask-briesmaid-back-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:660fa2aa-f05e-4814-8837-2442ab0dcca3Post:f92e24bf-f2d5-4003-9904-64b9f3109183">Re: how should I deal with people that "assume" they're invited to my wedding?</a>:
  [QUOTE]Stop talking about the wedding to them (which is rude to do if they aren't invited anyway). <strong> If they bring it up, change the subject.
  </strong>Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]
  
  Bean dip technique is excellent!

  

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• Kristin789 member

  

  November 2011 edited December 2011

  "Oh, sorry.  My parents are hosting the wedding and they are done with the guest list."
  
  And if someone pushes further:
  
  "Sure - you can call my dad.  He's home after 5:30 every day."
  
  And no one will actually call your dad and offer to pay for their own plate, because that would be slapping your dad right in the face, saying that he cannot pay for a proper send-off for his daughter.

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• ginadog member

  

  November 2011 edited December 2011

  I have had people say this, even after a simple convo,
  
  Them: Hey how's it going?
  Me: Long time no see!  Oh I got engaged!
  Them: I want to go to the wedding! or I can't wait to meet your family!
  
  OK, so I'm not going to hide the fact that I got engaged, but with people like that I just say it's immediate family and a few sets of friends.  That is. 
  
  No one has offered to pay for their plate!  I would say, "That's unheard of!"  Then change the subject.

  http://ginadog.weebly.com

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• rfaivrecarver member

  

  November 2011 edited December 2011

  Something I plan to do is throw a BBQ/potluck for people I can't invite to the wedding.
  I am on a tight budget and would love to invite more people but cannot afford it, and offering to pay for their plate is just odd to me. I dunno. My BM offered to pay for her date cause she knows I am on a really tight budget and I was like NO! I am paying for your date silly girl. She is such a character I tell you.
  Anyways I tell people you know I am on such a tight budget I would love to invite everyone but I just can't afford it. But I'm going to throw a BBQ after the wedding and I want you to come I am going to have my pictures and everything. So people don't feel entirely left out. It's not the same as being at the wedding, but it is what I can do.
  One rule I made for the BBQ though is NO GIFTS! Just come and celebrate our marriage
  I don't know if it is something you want to do or not. But yeah, I thought I would offer it out there. Plus you can draw out the wedding a little longer and who doesn't want that! I hear the come down is rough.

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