WR: Officiant fees

K&J64 · October 2010

So I finally found a Franciscan priest who can perform our ceremony. Catch is he lives in Hartford, CT which is about 2.5 hours from our ceremony site. His ceremony fee is $450, which is pretty typical for the area. He's also asking for another $300 for travel (gas, tolls, meals, time on the road).

Do you think this is reasonable? This is probably the closest person to a Roman Catholic priest we're going to find. Would you pay the extra $300 or look for someone from another type of church located closer?

JennaV26 · October 2010

I think it's reasonable. Our officiant was a good family friend who was doing the ceremony for free. We gave him a $300 "tip" and then paid for all of his travel including gas for a 5 hour drive and two nights a our hotel. It was around $600ish.

But he was amazing and we had our dream ceremony so it was worth it to us.

NatesGirl16 · October 2010

That's what I'm paying to get married in my church so, yeah, I'd pay it :P.

K&J64 · October 2010

Sarah - My FI is Catholic. Obviously the Catholic church will not bless a same sex ceremony. I found another type of Catholic church that does not answer to the Vatican, the Franciscans. There's a church nearby, but the Bishop is not available on our date. He found this priest in CT for us, the next closest member of his community available and willing to perform the ceremony. Basically this is as close as we're going to get to the ceremony my FI has always wanted.

If it were just up to me we'd have a Space Balls wedding ceremony, short and to the point as I'm not religious. But this means a lot to her and I want to make her happy. I may leave this decision up to her. Hopefully she doesn't pull a muscle making it (oh snap!)

pixiedust84 · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_wr-officiant-fees?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:37fc0f6c-8999-4201-b524-1f40dc0a8787Post:d8aa3342-b134-4205-9f27-86eec5029270">Re: WR: Officiant fees</a>:
[QUOTE]I wouldn't pay it, but then we're getting our officiant for free because we're turning FI's brother into a minister using the internet. Also, that's a ridiculous amount of traveling money just to get from Hartford to New Jersey. I could probably make that journey on about $30 at most. Is there a back story here that I missed?
Posted by sarah0725[/QUOTE]

The back story (as I remember) is that they're having a big gay wedding and are struggling to find a priest who is willing to marry them. It's important to kcullen's fi that they have a priest.

I would agree with you normally that it is a lot of money - BUT I feel like in this situation it would be worth it as long as they are happy with the guy. I guess what I mean is that I'd pay it to get the officiant that I want.

It's lame that other priests won't do it kcullen. If I were a priest I would totally marry you for free.

ETA: Oops - sorry kcullen! Ditto :-) Yeah I'll let you answer for yourself. haha

K&J64 · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_wr-officiant-fees?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:37fc0f6c-8999-4201-b524-1f40dc0a8787Post:c0ad8dd5-ff9c-4232-a64a-77ba60874c38">Re: WR: Officiant fees</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: WR: Officiant fees : The back story (as I remember) is that they're having a big gay wedding and are struggling to find a priest who is willing to marry them. It's important to kcullen's fi that they have a priest. I would agree with you normally that it is a lot of money - BUT I feel like in this situation it would be worth it as long as they are happy with the guy. I guess what I mean is that I'd pay it to get the officiant that I want.<strong> It's lame that other priests won't do it kcullen. If I were a priest I would totally marry you for free. </strong>ETA: Oops - sorry kcullen! Ditto :-) Yeah I'll let you answer for yourself. haha
Posted by pixiedust84[/QUOTE]

Thanks pixie :)

pixiedust84 · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_wr-officiant-fees?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:37fc0f6c-8999-4201-b524-1f40dc0a8787Post:2779d768-cc19-4d8a-a9d8-fe1c5efe2c1c">Re: WR: Officiant fees</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: WR: Officiant fees : Thanks pixie :)
Posted by kcullen37[/QUOTE]

Totally - I got your back. :-)

vegasgroom · October 2010

The $300 seems pretty reasonable for the travel time involved, the $450 base fee seems a little crazy. Our officiant is charging $150 for 30 minutes but he's local.

lisalou402 · October 2010

Our officiant is $600 and is in NY.

Have you checked with St. Francis Xavier in Chelsea? It's defintiely a Catholic church and they may be able to refer you.

K&J64 · October 2010

lisalou - yeah they would tell me to take a hike, as they are a Roman Catholic church, been there, done that lol. the Francisan Catholics are independant, and even still not all their clergy is willing to perform the ceremony (all depends on how they view the bible as it relates to marriage).

If my FI really wants something as close to a Roman Catholic wedding as she can get I'll support us paying $750 for this priest. Otherwise I have no issue finding a Protestant minister who will perform it for less. The $750 may be worth the validation it may give our marriage in the eyes of her family too. I'll let FI pay for it lol.

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