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Do we have to??

tonya246tonya246
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in Registry and Gift Forum
I wasn't planning on doing a registry. My fiancee and I live together and have pretty much everything we need. We do plan on moving a month or two after the wedding and will need furniture and appliances then. I told my mom if her side of the family asks, we would like money to go towards a new bedroom set. In all honesty we would rather have money to go towards something that we need instead of stuff that we don't. I REFUSE to put "Presentation Prefered" or something along those lines on the invitation, because I think it's tacky. I know lots of people do it, but it's not me. To me it says, I don't want your gifts, but give me your money.

Do we have to do a registry when we really don't need anything? If someone wants to give us a gift that is fine, but I don't see the point of going out and making one. Thoughts please?
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Re: Do we have to??

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    krizzo17krizzo17 member
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    Good for you for acknowledging that saying you want cash is tacky, no matter how you phrase it!

    Register for a few things you would like upgraded, and if anyone asks your wedding party/family, they can just say "oh, tonya has a small registery, they're really trying to save up for after the move". Your guests will get the hint, and you won't look like you think you're smarter than they are with your fancy bad etiquette wording.
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    MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
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    You absolutely don't have to have a registry.  And you are right, nothing about registries or gifts should ever go on the invitation.

    The thing you have to keep in mind is that some guests honestly just aren't comfortable giving money and will give you a physical gift no matter what.  You know your circle and you know what people in your area do.  If they are the physical gift types, you'll want to have at least a small registry to avoid white elephants.  if most people in your area give cash at the wedding, you'll be fine.

    The other consideration is a shower.  If you are having one, you really do need a registry.  People won't give money at a shower.  
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    MNVegasMNVegas member
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    edited April 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_do-we-have-to?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:5c1a8795-b5d2-4349-b079-8087037761ebPost:63104a39-bf51-4c3b-9e0a-0fc238fea94b">Re: Do we have to??</a>:
    [QUOTE]Good for you for acknowledging that saying you want cash is tacky, no matter how you phrase it! Register for a few things you would like upgraded, and if anyone asks your wedding party/family, they can just say "oh, tonya has a small registery, they're really trying to save up for after the move". Your guests will get the hint, and you won't look like you think you're smarter than they are with your fancy bad etiquette wording.
    Posted by krizzo17[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Agree with this

    </div>
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    hoffsehoffse member
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    I'm somebody who gives a physical gift, whether there is a registry or not.  I would make a small registry for people like me, and then you can use it for your shower as well if you have one.
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    StephBeanWed61502StephBeanWed61502 member
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    One thing, you may have everything you need, but you could always register for upgrades.  For example, you might have a coffee-maker, but you might want a nicer/bigger one, or higher thread-count sheets, etc.  FI and I actually registered for pillows because, while we have some, they're old and kind of flat, so we registered for new fluffy ones.  That might be a good way to accommodate folks who aren't comfortable giving money.
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    shaina925shaina925 member
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    We are also having a small wedding and would prefer cash but we are just doing a very small registry at BBB incase some people don't feel comfortable giving money.
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    minniehopelessminniehopeless
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_do-we-have-to?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:5c1a8795-b5d2-4349-b079-8087037761ebPost:545fef5c-1533-4cd7-bcdd-124d6eb11b9a">Do we have to??</a>:
    [QUOTE] Thoughts please?
    Posted by tonya246[/QUOTE]

    I think you have to register or at least put a note on the wedding website/get the word out about preferring cash. <em>DON'T PUT ANYTHING ABOUT ASKING FOR CASH IN YOUR INVITES. </em>Go lurk the etiquette board if you need some reasoning as to why.

    Personally i am registering, I don't want to end up with 27 towels, 4 toasters or 7 woks. The catholic wedding guide i have mentioned one couple who got 37 cut glass vases, but that's less belivable.
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    tonya246tonya246
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    Thanks everyone for your replies. I think we will register at a few places for the people that might want to give a gift.

    I wouldn't put i want cash on my wedding invitaiton in any form no matter what!! lol I hate it when it says that. I got an invitation once that said "envelope presentation requested" sure they were trying to be nice about it, but still sounds awful. For their wedding I can understand why they would want cash. They are flying back home to have there wedding at home where their family is and don't want to have to ship stuff back. either way you would hope people would realize a gift would be a pain for them and would give them cash anyways.
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